Author Archives: randy@letters-to-rachel.memorial

For the Briefest of Moments

Dearest Rachel – It all felt so real. You were there, in my arms. I could touch you; my arms were around your neck, and draped over your shoulders. You seemed so bewildered as to why I was sobbing so, and holding onto you like a life preserver, as if I would die were IContinue reading “For the Briefest of Moments”

from Rachel: You Are Not an Accident

“April 21, 2004 “My first thought is that I’m pretty content in my skin. I can’t think of much that I still need to accept. But that sounds prideful, so let’s go deeper. I suppose as far as appearance, I love what God has given me, but I don’t like any changes – I pluckContinue reading “from Rachel: You Are Not an Accident”

Drowning Out The Silence

Dearest Rachel – It’s been an unusual day today. After scheduling the plan last week due to some unforeseen delays at the airport, Kat has invited Daniel over to her place, where they’ll do pretty much the same thing that Logan does when he comes here: watching anime. So this means the house has beenContinue reading “Drowning Out The Silence”

Birthday Plans Gone Awry

Dearest Rachel – There are times when I wish I was better at writing at certain hours. The early mornings, in particular, are fairly conducive to the process, as there’s nobody up but me and the dog. Even on our busy thorough fare, cars are few and far between at this hour. I have theContinue reading “Birthday Plans Gone Awry”

Passing in His Sleep

Dearest Rachel – The other day, I got tired of waiting for Chompers to fall back asleep so that I could leave for the ‘office,’ so I just left him lying on the blanket in the sunroom, in the hopes that he would eventually find a comfortable position and go to sleep without disturbing DanielContinue reading “Passing in His Sleep”

I Can’t Be Overdrawn…

Dearest Rachel – Well, you know the punch to that line; I hardly have to recite it to you. The weird thing is, for the last week and a half, I’ve had the exact opposite problem – we were down to our last two or three checks. So how are we going to pay billsContinue reading “I Can’t Be Overdrawn…”

The Liberation of Surrender

Dearest Rachel – So just last night, I was observing how difficult it was for me to follow my own advice, and simply (and completely) give up on the possibility of finding another life partner like yourself. This morning, on the other hand, I find myself considering just how much better off I am, nowContinue reading “The Liberation of Surrender”

Trying to Take My Own Advice

Dearest Rachel – I’m sure by now that you’ve noticed a lot of my letters to you seem a little bit disjointed and disorganized. They do tend to bounce around from thought to thought within the alleged confines of the topic I’ve decided to cover in the letter (and even then sometimes it’s hard toContinue reading “Trying to Take My Own Advice”

Out of the Closet

Dearest Rachel – I know you’re looking at that title; and no, it doesn’t mean that. Just take it literally, like you’re supposed to. I stayed home from the office today, because both Jan and Kris were over as part of the (seemingly) never-ending cleaning effort. I left Kris to her own devices – andContinue reading “Out of the Closet”

The Drama Llama

Dearest Rachel – Among the piles of clothing that filled the sunroom once upon a time, there were some Christmas presents that you never got the chance to enjoy. There was the odd item that didn’t arrive in time, since you had ordered them for yourself (it was a standing agreement that if you foundContinue reading “The Drama Llama”

Another Errandy Day

Dearest Rachel – There are some days where I just feel like I have to keep you appraised of everything that’s been going on. What is it the song says? “A line a day, when you’re far away”? Yeah, I haven’t exactly been able to keep up with that. Sure, there’s plenty to talk aboutContinue reading “Another Errandy Day”

The Sullen Little Girl and Her Raggedy Ann

Dearest Rachel – This photo hung on the wall – along with a collection of other family photos, but this and the one of their last dog took pride of place, due to their size and prominence – in the hall leading from the family room of your parents’ house to their bedroom, passing byContinue reading “The Sullen Little Girl and Her Raggedy Ann”

Three Lefts

Dearest Rachel – I’m sure you’re familiar with the old saying that ‘two wrongs don’t make a right.’ And I’m sure that Relient K weren’t the first people to come up with it when they added the subtitle ‘(but three lefts do)’ to one of their albums. But that’s the full phrase that goes throughContinue reading “Three Lefts”

What Does This Say About Us?

A ·good [righteous] person can look forward to happiness,but ·an evil person can expect nothing [L the hope of an evil person will perish]. Proverbs 10:28, Expanded Bible Dearest Rachel – It wasn’t all that long ago that we were, in fact, looking forward to happiness together. So many of the things that cause most people to struggle inContinue reading “What Does This Say About Us?”

from Rachel: It All Starts With God

“April 20, 2004 “Let me begin by saying that this is my second time through this book. However, this time I intend to make every effort to read one chapter a day as intended (not cram on the afternoon of the meeting). How can I remind myself today that life is really about living forContinue reading “from Rachel: It All Starts With God”

Can’t Recall The Verse

Dearest Rachel – I don’t often set my alarm these days, but it’s necessary on Saturdays, in order to ensure I’m there on time for the men’s Bible study (not to mention the fact that, on the first Saturday of the month – because last week was a holiday – the guys organizing it fixContinue reading “Can’t Recall The Verse”

Problems With My Parenting

Dearest Rachel – So the folks have developed this routine of inviting us over almost every Thursday night. It’s really not unlike back in the days when you would be visiting your parents for a week, or those times you would go on women’s retreats, or any other point in which you were away fromContinue reading “Problems With My Parenting”

Three Hundred

Dearest Rachel – This is the second week in a row that Jan‘s charges for her time have amounted to three hundred dollars exactly. And like I told her last week, the thought immediately runs through my head as I look at the room that we’ve been working on for the past few hours: This!Continue reading “Three Hundred”

Waking Up Is Hard To Do

Dearest Rachel – There are still some mornings when I wake up, bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to take on the world and everything in it. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, God’s in his heaven and all’s well with the world. I can’t remember when the last time was that IContinue reading “Waking Up Is Hard To Do”

Observations Along The Way

Dearest Rachel – Depending on when I leave the house, I can (and do) run into a number of people along the way. And I have to admit, I can’t seem to prevent myself from commenting on some of the things I see. To borrow from the legendary Yogi Berra, “you can observe a lotContinue reading “Observations Along The Way”

Dreams of a Fast Food Breakfast

Dearest Rachel – One of the many books that you left behind was a reissued copy of Windsor McCay’s “Dreams of a Rarebit Fiend,” wherein aficionados of the titular grilled cheese with mustard sandwich who’d eaten it too late at night would suffer from bizarre nighttime visions not unlike those of his later, more famousContinue reading “Dreams of a Fast Food Breakfast”

Of Madness And Memories

Dearest Rachel – In literature, the color yellow seems to be associated very closely with madness. There’s The King in Yellow referenced by Lovecraft, the story of “The Yellow Wall-Paper” by Charlotte Gilman, and so forth. I think that, in some way, it’s why Ellen chose it to serve as the color of what weContinue reading “Of Madness And Memories”

Fugue State Vignettes

Dearest Rachel – A quick word of warning: this particular letter is not going to make any sense, it’s going to hop between one image or moment and another. That’s because everything listed here happens in my sleep, or just as I’m yanked out of it. So, the other night, I was in in theContinue reading “Fugue State Vignettes”

Nevermind

Here we are now, entertain us… Nirvana, “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, from Nevermind (1991) Are you not entertained? Are you not entertained?! Maximus (Russell Crowe), Gladiator (2000) Dearest Rachel – Well, I said that I would let you know about the festival once I actually went to one (Although I specified that it would beContinue reading “Nevermind”

A Bountiful Harvest

Dearest Rachel – Normally, when he barks to be let out during the day, I’m not the one home to put Chompers out; that’s something Daniel handles. Even when I’m home, I’m usually busy with Jan in another part of the house. And during weekends and holidays, when I am the go-to for getting himContinue reading “A Bountiful Harvest”

Outage

Dearest Rachel – So, this evening, I had uploaded a video to YouTube to attach to a letter I was going to send to you regarding July Fourth and fireworks. I was working on the letter itself, and a few videos I’d taken from Saturday to add to the illustrations when… I could no longerContinue reading “Outage”

Never Mind The Professionals

Dear Rachel – So yesterday, Jeff and Julie invited the two of us over for a Fourth of July cookout (yes, I know it was on the third, but you know, Saturday versus Sunday). I warned Jeff that I would be late, because I was working in the booth this weekend, and as it soContinue reading “Never Mind The Professionals”

from Rachel: Stuck in Conflict

“Peace is not found in winning or avoiding conflict, but in rightly handling conflict. “1. Start with love.” Therefore, my brothers, whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm thus in the Lord, my beloved. Philippians 4:1, English Standard Bible “Verse 4:1 is easy to pass over too quickly to getContinue reading “from Rachel: Stuck in Conflict”

On My Own Recognizance

Dearest Rachel – So, Logan came over yesterday, and I did my level best to stay out of the boys way. Kept busy with writing to you, and picking up dinner for them from a local outlet of some national pizza chain. Also slept a bit more, as the dog seems somehow calmer when there’sContinue reading “On My Own Recognizance”

To What Purpose?

Dearest Rachel – It has been a while since I last identified myself as such, and probably even longer since someone else has, but the other day, I was told that I was “task-oriented.” Now, that’s not news to me; in my many struggles with my boss back in the day, I often brought upContinue reading “To What Purpose?”

Not in the Night Soil Business

Dearest Rachel – Leave it to the Victorians to come up with such a quaint and pleasant-sounding term for a decidedly unpleasant job dealing with decidedly unpleasant material. In the days before indoor plumbing was common, human waste was removed from the privies and cesspools of urban dwellings and transported out of the city byContinue reading “Not in the Night Soil Business”

Early Morning in a Strange City

Let’s go up on the roof beneath the neonPretend we’re foreigners and drink the city inSomewhere between the stairwell and the starlightI find myself holding your hand Mark Heard, “Love is Not the Only Thing,” from Second Hand, 1992 Dearest Rachel – I’d kind of like to start this letter off like a conversation: youContinue reading “Early Morning in a Strange City”

By A Different Name

Dearest Rachel – Well, color me shocked. I had been informed months ago by the highest authority (which is to say, the local newspaper) that our village wouldn’t be holding Frontier Days over the July 4th holiday. So, when I saw the installation at Melas Park the other day, I naturally assumed that the nextContinue reading “By A Different Name”

Yet Another Goodbye

Dearest Rachel – It seems the 2021 has been, is, and will be the year of losses for me. Your departure would’ve been more than enough to make it so, but of course there are all these littler ones that follow, or that are expected to follow. You’ve certainly heard plenty from me about Chompers;Continue reading “Yet Another Goodbye”

The End of Pride Month…?

Dearest Rachel – So, today is June 30th. And we all know what that means: the end of Pride Month, apparently. WordPress even got in on the act a couple of days early; their app, which has been a swirl of colors for most of the month, changed back to its standard basic blue onContinue reading “The End of Pride Month…?”

A Fondness for Funfairs

Dearest Rachel – Pulling into Melas Park, where I usually meet Erin to walk together on Tuesdays, I noticed that the parking lot we both usually use is unavailable. Turns out, while my village and Erin’s city have both canceled their annual Independence Day festivals, the town located between the two (which is why weContinue reading “A Fondness for Funfairs”

Can’t Make Him Eat

Dearest Rachel – Since, like you, Daniel stays up until… I honestly don’t know when, I find myself debating as to whether or not to go out and get something for him to eat for breakfast when he does finally wake up, especially on days like today, when I intend to head across town toContinue reading “Can’t Make Him Eat”

Before We Close the Lid

Dearest Rachel – I confess that there are some days where I’m still at a loss as to how to deal with Jan. She’s great fun to be around, and she pushes me to do what needs to be done. Of course, it’s that very part of her that leaves me stuck for how toContinue reading “Before We Close the Lid”

Dreams of Future Passed

Dearest Rachel – To say that the events of the past few years have upended my plans would be rather a gross understatement. Hey, look, kids, check it out – it’s the latest installment of the adventures of Marvel’s newest superhero, Captain Obvious! Or would he be a DC type of character? I don’t know…Continue reading “Dreams of Future Passed”

Promises Made

Dearest Rachel – This is more Daniel’s story than mine, but I seriously doubt that he’s ever going to write anything down anywhere about this. Besides, I need to commend him for sticking to this, and let you know about what he had agreed to do, and that he’s stuck to his promises. Over theContinue reading “Promises Made”

from Rachel: Letter to Oprah

“Dear Oprah, “[I love your show… blah blah blah] I also love your new song. I think that was so terrific of Paul Simon to write that for you. The song is running through my head at the moment because as he sings about you ‘A story in your eye / Well, speak until yourContinue reading “from Rachel: Letter to Oprah”

Belt Tightening

Dearest Rachel – It’s not something I really feel like checking very often. Mostly because, like most people, I’m not sure I’d like what I find out. But I know where I was barely 6 months ago, and I know things have improved since then. So the question is, by how much? So, for theContinue reading “Belt Tightening”

Culture Is Not Forever

Dearest Rachel – There have been a number of days when I’m literally writing to you at the last minute, standing around waiting for Chompers to do his business, or waiting for him to finally succumb to sleep. And as I wonder what topic to discuss with you, I can think of nothing else toContinue reading “Culture Is Not Forever”

Powders and Pills

Dearest Rachel – I say this a lot these days, especially in these letters to you, but today I’m doing something I really never expected I would need to do. I’m picking up more medicine for Chompers. Granted, it’s not a prescription medicine or anything like that. Just some powdered distilled from cranberries in orderContinue reading “Powders and Pills”

Gallagher’s Happy House

Dearest Rachel – There were several things in our lives that we both had knowledge and enjoyment of, but never quite shared as we could have. One, of course, was the nation of Japan (and its attendant culture), which we both visited and fell in love with before we became a couple – you asContinue reading “Gallagher’s Happy House”

The Ingenuity of Fools

Dearest Rachel – There’s an old saying that I’m fond of quoting that insists you can’t make anything foolproof, because fools are too ingenious. I’m reminded of it as I watch Chompers stagger about in his little wheelchair. It’s supposed to function on the same principle as training wheels on a children’s bicycle, where theyContinue reading “The Ingenuity of Fools”

Pennies From Heaven

Dearest Rachel – So yesterday, after Mike and Linda came by to measure the kitchen for remodeling, Jan also came by to work more with me on the office. Bear in mind that this isn’t the first day we’ve been working in the office; we did get started on Monday, and spent a full dayContinue reading “Pennies From Heaven”

Do You Have to Study to Pass the Bechdel Test?

Dearest Rachel – I can’t recall if you’re familiar with the concept of the Bechdel Test. At its most basic, it’s meant to be a measure of the representation of female characters in a work of fiction. The idea is that in order to pass, such a work needs to a.) have at least twoContinue reading “Do You Have to Study to Pass the Bechdel Test?”

Measuring For The Makeover

Dearest Rachel – I haven’t forgotten that this is the five-month anniversary since your departure. It is going to be a long time (if ever, let’s face it) before I forget about the significance of the twenty-third of the month. What’s interesting about it, is how often I have something going on – and moreContinue reading “Measuring For The Makeover”

Dreams of Summer

Dearest Rachel – This letter is going to be shorter than most, more’s the pity. But I have to move fast and thank you before the sandcastle in my mind loses shape and collapses. Yes, I said thank you. I’ve complained before some times about how Daniel claims to have seen you in his dreams,Continue reading “Dreams of Summer”

The Wee Hour Sleeping Pill

Dearest Rachel – It seems that so many of these letters are written to you in the wee hours of the morning, and they’re almost always about the never-ending struggle to get Chompers to bed. Well, for what it’s worth, it’s not intentional. It just so happens that in that hour or more that IContinue reading “The Wee Hour Sleeping Pill”

Fear Of Failing Memory

Dearest Rachel – People sometimes tell me I have an impressive memory. And I suppose, for the things I learned in childhood, that’s not far from the mark. I would memorize Bible verses and the like for Awana, and many of them have stayed with me just like some of them actually advertise: “Train upContinue reading “Fear Of Failing Memory”

What Size His Domain?

Dearest Rachel – For all the time he spends asleep, it’s amazing how hard Chompers resists being put to bed at night time. there are times when it’s an absolutely titanic struggle to get him to find a place where he’s comfortable enough to curl up and go to sleep. Considering how he has veryContinue reading “What Size His Domain?”

No Ticket to Oz

Dearest Rachel – It was storming terribly last night, dear. Our home security system by the front door was beeping like a combination alarm clock and a forklift stuck in reverse, and no amount of money going forward and typing in the password which shut it up for more than five minutes, before it wouldContinue reading “No Ticket to Oz”

Twenty-Eight

Dearest Rachel – Twenty-eight years ago today, I came home from work to find you standing in the bathtub, leaking. I think you had expected your water to break with a single large gush, and that wasn’t happening. But regardless, we had to get you over the hospital right away. You insisted on walking –Continue reading “Twenty-Eight”

Unaccustomed As I Am

Dearest Rachel – I’ve mentioned this before, but it is different to give these letters titles. I mean, if I were writing to you directly, a title wouldn’t make it any more eye-catching: you would read it because it came from me. No, the titles are meant to grab the eyes of those you’ve comeContinue reading “Unaccustomed As I Am”

from Rachel: Spring Cleanin’

Jesus Christ must be Lord of our intellect if we are to keep our house in order (Matt 22:34-36; Phil 4:8) A. Study! “Christ must be Lord of my intellect for me to have spiritual order.” B. Dwell on the good stuff! “It doesn’t come automatically; I must deliberately turn my thoughts to these.” JesusContinue reading “from Rachel: Spring Cleanin’”

Daily Bread

Dearest Rachel – You might remember that one of my favorite Biblical characters is a man who is only mentioned once, wrote a single chapter of Proverbs… and we know pretty much nothing else about him except his name, Agur. That, and the fact that he gave one of the most brutally honest self-evaluations ofContinue reading “Daily Bread”

Road Wood

Dearest Rachel – There’s a lot of things in which, after twenty-eight years and more, you trained me rather well. There’s the stereotypical issue of the toilet seat, for instance (which, honestly, I’m sort of the only one fighting the man’s side of the battle, as Daniel generally doesn’t even bother to stand up). IContinue reading “Road Wood”

The Unpredictable Squeak

Dearest Rachel – Another day, another weird Chompers experience. This isn’t the first time even this week that he’s barked to go out at 5:30 in the morning, but this one was different insofar as it was raining. So, not a pleasant experience for either of us. Nor, as far as I can tell, aContinue reading “The Unpredictable Squeak”

Moving On Up

Dearest Rachel – Yes, we’re moving on up, to the upstairs of the split-level section of the house. Unlike the Jeffersons’ theme, I think it’s the south side of our house – I was never particularly good at orientation, and determining direction based on a compass: whatever direction I was facing, I always felt likeContinue reading “Moving On Up”

We’ll All Be Skeletons

Dearest Rachel – Today was too cool to walk around in thin white cotton, so I decided to wear one of my black shirts. Not sure why I picked this one: I’m actually thinking this might be the first time I’ve worn it in public. I know you thought we might all wear it togetherContinue reading “We’ll All Be Skeletons”

The Brokenness of Morning

Dearest Rachel – Morning has broken like the first morningBlackbird has spoken like the first bird Eleanor Farjeon, “Morning Has Broken,” 1931 You and I are both familiar with the concept of the mondegreen, that weird phenomenon where you hear music lyrics – or more to the point, mishear them. Perhaps the most famous exampleContinue reading “The Brokenness of Morning”

The Comfort of His Chair

Dearest Rachel – It seems I owe my sister an apology. In fact, I think we both do. The thing is, we were in over our heads in so many different areas of our life. And only now am I trying to work my way through rebuilding some of those areas that so desperately needContinue reading “The Comfort of His Chair”

Well, This Sucks (After All)

Dearest Rachel – One of the channels that we would watch on YouTube fairly faithfully on any given weekend was this one Reddit read-and-react segment done by a particularly famous gamer. Over the course of a month or two, he would go through a number of different subreddits, take a look at the photos onContinue reading “Well, This Sucks (After All)”

Cleaning vs. Cleaning Out

Dearest Rachel – So today was pretty much the last day that we will be working on the ground floor. For all intents and purposes, we cleaned out all the rooms on this level. Correction: we have cleaned all the rooms, but not necessarily cleaned them out. There’s a difference between cleaning and cleaning out.Continue reading “Cleaning vs. Cleaning Out”

A Bit Player In My Own Story

Dearest Rachel – For the better part of the last century, at least, it’s been easy to think of our lives as a movie, with ourselves at the center of the story. I suppose it might have been thought this way prior to the popularization of the cinema, with the story being literature instead –Continue reading “A Bit Player In My Own Story”

from Rachel: **Gratitude

“I know I had many wonderful years with my ‘Daddy,’ but it’s never quite enough. May I be grateful for all the time I had. “I loved my car, also but I can be grateful for the chance for upgrades.” I suppose I should be saving some of these sermon notes that clearly hail fromContinue reading “from Rachel: **Gratitude”

As Far as the East is From the West

Dearest Rachel – As much as we grew up with pastors and Sunday School teachers reminding us that “the Bible is not a science textbook” with regard to poetic turns of phrase like references to the sun rising or the four corners of the earth, sometimes it’s amazing to note the choice of words thatContinue reading “As Far as the East is From the West”

ただいま! (I’m Home!)

Dearest Rachel – For all my talk about my being an anime otaku (although these days, Daniel and Logan have me well beat in terms of actually watching anime), you were the first of us to actually sample Japanese culture. Starting from the middle of your high school career you would make a habit ofContinue reading “ただいま! (I’m Home!)”

Nothing Too Out of the Ordinary

Dearest Rachel – So what can I tell you about a day like today? The thing is, some days are… not all that remarkable. They may be eventful, but there’s not much to really say about them. And this has been one of those days. The morning started out with nothing all that out ofContinue reading “Nothing Too Out of the Ordinary”

Wouldn’t Hurt a Fly

Dearest Rachel – As things have been progressing with the entire cleaning out and organizing process that Jan has been doing, I’ve noticed a little change in my own personality over time. I’ve actually gotten sensitive to a certain level of clutter, to the point where I can’t work in a place that’s too crowdedContinue reading “Wouldn’t Hurt a Fly”

The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part nine – conclusion, for now)

Dearest Rachel – The letters that I wrote you back when we were officially courting never had titles. They were either filling you in on the things that were going on in my life while we were separated, or explaining the songs that I was sending you along with the letter, or just telling youContinue reading “The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part nine – conclusion, for now)”

The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part eight – “Megumi”)

Dearest Rachel – So, now you’re gone. And I’m on my own, still raising Daniel, but essentially alone. And I don’t mind telling you, I hate it. So much so, that I am already seeking God’s will to find somebody new. Not so much as to take your place as… maybe fill the spot youContinue reading “The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part eight – “Megumi”)”

The Very Opposite of a Gift

Dearest Rachel – I suppose it’s my own fault for letting Chompers sleep so much during the day. But you know the old saying about sleeping dogs: I don’t want to disturb him. Particularly since Logan’s been over since we got back from Kevin’s place. I figured that Daniel and he can keep an eyeContinue reading “The Very Opposite of a Gift”

from Rachel: Anticipating the Voice of God

Clear communication with God begins when I “approach” God and his word with “anticipation”, expecting him to speak. If you ever experienced a time when your prayer seemed unheard, how did you feel toward God? “I think I have always felt heard, it just still feels frustratingly one-sided.” Did this instance cause you to doubtContinue reading “from Rachel: Anticipating the Voice of God”

The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part seven – You)

Dearest Rachel – I could have easily switched this part and that about work in chronological order. As it was, I did write you that crucial letter before I was actually situated in the position that ultimately became my career. But that was when I expected to have to write you off, along with prettyContinue reading “The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part seven – You)”

The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part six – Work)

Dearest Rachel – While the choice of a career would tend to ultimately dictate where one works, it doesn’t always follow that strictly. There’s a difference between working for a firm whose industry is that of your chosen profession, and working for a company that needs departmental staff that perform said profession. That is theContinue reading “The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part six – Work)”

Things We’ve Seen Before – and Things You’ll Never See

Dearest Rachel – It’s Thursday morning. Our last full day here in Tennessee. And I must admit, I’ve been a little lax. Haven’t done any walking to speak of this whole week. I’d like to excuse myself, because of the lack of reason. No destination, and no companion – human or canine – leads toContinue reading “Things We’ve Seen Before – and Things You’ll Never See”

The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part five – Dena)

Dearest Rachel – While I tried to reinvent myself with a more outgoing persona at college, I still wasn’t the type to seek out any actual relationships. Still, the close quarters environment was pretty nice for more casual friendships, and those I had plenty of. Indeed, I learned early on in college that I gotContinue reading “The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part five – Dena)”

The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part four – College)

Dearest Rachel – For all the momentous decisions I had to make in my life, they should’ve been one upon which everything hinged. Had I not gone where I went, I would not have met you, we would have not become us… everything depended on this moment, on this choice. And while I’m sure IContinue reading “The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part four – College)”

Three People, Four Screens

Dearest Rachel – As much as things will forever be different going forward, there are times when I realize that in some ways, things really haven’t changed at all. For one thing, I realize that the three of us – Kevin, Daniel and I – are not really all that far removed from the wayContinue reading “Three People, Four Screens”

The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part three – Chris)

Dearest Rachel – The most amazing thing about my relationship with you was the fact that you had never really been interested in boys prior to me writing to you after graduating from college. Granted, this is getting slightly ahead of myself, but this is a situation that I know is unique and remarkable. Oh,Continue reading “The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part three – Chris)”

The Path to the Park

Dearest Rachel – So I must say, the wheelchair affords both Chompers and I a little extra freedom. He can wander about the front lawn as much as he wants for as long as he wants, while I sit here on the porch and take in the sights and sounds. And yes, even as emptyContinue reading “The Path to the Park”

The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part two – Major)

Dearest Rachel – So yesterday, I mentioned how I rarely ever consulted with God about my plans for the future – or at least, I don’t really recall having engaged in in deep, prayerful discussions with Him on the subject. I know I never heard His voice on any major decision or turning point inContinue reading “The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part two – Major)”

The Middle of the Bed

Dearest Rachel – At home, there’s always something that prevents me from taking up the entirety of the bed. It’s partially a physical question of real estate, where some of your stuff has been lying there. Indeed, I’ve been keeping a couple of your Bible study books there as a reference to flip through andContinue reading “The Middle of the Bed”

from Rachel: False Accusations

Can you think of a time when you were falsely accused of something? “Yes and no (Something I totally didn’t do, only by Jokun, doing on purpose with hurtful motives, something I did carelessly, lots of times)” What was the outcome? “(hiccup cured) With Sally we would eventually reconcile, the one time with Suzy, itContinue reading “from Rachel: False Accusations”

The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part one – Introduction)

Dearest Rachel – Looking back over a number of these entries, it’s somewhat embarrassing to see how often everything is peppered with first-person pronouns. “I,” “me,” “my,” and the like are spread all over the place, when this is supposed to be about you. And yet, just about everything I know about you comes fromContinue reading “The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part one – Introduction)”

Road Trip

Dearest Rachel – Well, it’s that time of year again. Memorial Day, and we would be heading down to Tennessee to visit Kevin, and just hang out at his place, watching television and YouTube, playing video games, and just enjoying each others’ company. And we’re still doing that this year. It’s just that there’s aContinue reading “Road Trip”

A Game We’ll Never Play

Dearest Rachel – It’s true that, thanks to the likes of Amazon and online shopping, you can come home nearly every day to find a package on your doorstep. After all, I just found the box with Chompers’ wheelchair on the front porch just this past Tuesday. However, that was the last order I’d placedContinue reading “A Game We’ll Never Play”

Thy Kingdom Come

Dearest Rachel – I know the thoughts that I have in the shower will never be registered in r/showerthoughts. They’re just neither original nor bizarre enough to qualify, and I guess I’m okay with that. Which is of course, not to say that I don’t have thoughts in the shower. I mean, don’t we all?Continue reading “Thy Kingdom Come”

These Can’t Be Keepsakes…?

Dearest Rachel – So yesterday, Jan was over, and we continued cleaning out your side of the bedroom. Most of the books under the nightstand are being donated (the rule is, if I don’t see myself reading these books – and they don’t have any notes from you in them, so I don’t, for theContinue reading “These Can’t Be Keepsakes…?”

Never All At Once

Dearest Rachel – As frustrating as dealing with Chompers can be, one of the most difficult has been the fact that he never seems to be satisfied with what he has or where he is. As a result, there are times when all the boxes are ticked – he’s been fed (although that only happensContinue reading “Never All At Once”

Cleaned Out

Dearest Rachel – Here’s something you probably didn’t ever get to see once we moved into this house some twenty-five years ago: That’s it. That’s the corner of the laundry room where all the dirty clothes would be piled up awaiting processing. We (and by ‘we,’ I admit it almost always meant ‘you,’ with theContinue reading “Cleaned Out”

Longer Than Intended, But Never Long Enough

Dearest Rachel – It’s a good thing that, back when ours was a long-distance relationship only in terms of physical distance, I didn’t use titles for each letter. Well… that’s not entirely accurate, as the mix tapes that accompanied most of our letters (from each of us) did have titles we’d given them, but itContinue reading “Longer Than Intended, But Never Long Enough”

from Rachel: Lacking Nothing

“‘The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.’ Psalm 23:1 (most accurate translation for the Hebrew phrase) “Surviving attempted takeovers by the enemy: Colossians 2:8 ‘See to it that no one takes you captive.’ [We have an] active responsibility to protect ourselves. “Who is the authority in my life?” Is it My Life in theContinue reading “from Rachel: Lacking Nothing”