Passing in His Sleep

Dearest Rachel –

The other day, I got tired of waiting for Chompers to fall back asleep so that I could leave for the ‘office,’ so I just left him lying on the blanket in the sunroom, in the hopes that he would eventually find a comfortable position and go to sleep without disturbing Daniel too much. When I got home from a fairly full afternoon’s work (as I wasn’t there for much of the morning), I found him in much the same position that I had left him. Daniel shrugged and acknowledge that he had slept the entire day without moving.

I confess that this news alarmed me; if he hadn’t moved for six hours, was he even still alive? I stared at him intently as he lay there, until I could ascertain that his midsection was rising and falling as he breathed. Yes, he was fine, relatively speaking.

Then I noticed it, right behind his tail. He’d let loose several Lincoln logs, presumably while I was sleeping. Thankfully, his eliminations have the cohesion of tiny bricks, so they don’t generally stain the carpet. I picked them up with some toilet paper, dropped them in the bowl, sprayed the site to disinfect it, and went about the evening.

If I sound somewhat nonchalant about the situation, that’s because it’s become rather a daily habit. I won’t say ‘routine’ necessarily, because I never know when exactly it’s going to happen, but hardly a day goes by anymore when he doesn’t pass some thing in his sleep.

Often he wakes up in the morning with something under his tail. Which is the most annoying situation, as I usually have him out sometime after midnight to try and do something before going to bed. But just like the proverbial horse, you can take him outside, but I can’t make him do anything. It’s not like I can jam a small shovel under his tail and dig it out. So, once he’s determined he’s done everything he’s going to do, and whines to come in, that’s basically all I can do. I basically just find myself hoping whatever he does, he does it on the blanket or his bed, which I can stick in the laundry the next morning, unlike the carpet.

This morning was actually unusual, insofar is he woke up whining without having done anything. Granted, this was because he woke up a little after five in the morning – after having been out after midnight. Yeah, for all the sleep that he gets during the daytime, he doesn’t sleep particularly soundly at night. Which doesn’t do my own sleep cycle any favors.

But hey, you do what you gotta do. I threw on a robe and some shorts, and I got him outside. And he did everything he needed to do. Yay, him.

Now, if he could only settle in and get back to sleep. And then, if only I could as well. It’s still barely six in the morning, and I could use the sleep, but here I am, telling you all about this, because what else am I gonna do? I’m too tired to do anything, but not tired enough to fall asleep right away. Daylight is breaking as well, and I don’t know how I’m gonna fall asleep with that going on.

He’s gone quiet now, and I’m left here alone with my thoughts. He’s held up amazingly well. Indeed, he still eats like it was going out of style. But I don’t know how much longer either of us can keep this up. It feels mean-spirited of me to hope that soon, he might pass away in his sleep, but as far as passings go, I think that’s the best one any of us can ever hope for, so…

As it is, he passes a lot in his sleep already. It would be just one more thing for me to pick up in the morning, I guess.

Okay, now that’s me saying too much. I’m going to try to go back to sleep. As always honey, wish me luck.

Published by randy@letters-to-rachel.memorial

I am Rachel's husband. Was. I'm still trying to deal with it. I probably always will be.

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