Live and In Person

Dearest Rachel – Some time before you left, back when I was still considering assembling some form of YouTube channel, I was reading up on artificial intelligence, and how it was able to compose music. As I had no particular talent in that field, it seemed like a great idea for coming up with originalContinue reading “Live and In Person”

One Last Throw of the Dice

Dearest Rachel – Well, my subscription to that dating website/app is about to expire, and I’m not sure I’m really going to miss it. It’s given me a fair amount of fodder to write you about, to be sure, but up until now, there hasn’t really been all that much in terms of real results.Continue reading “One Last Throw of the Dice”

Ten Thousand Days

Dearest Rachel – Last Thursday, after dinner with the folks, Daniel and I retired to the family room with them as we always do. Mom finished up the washing (yes, that’s her system; it helps that the kitchen counter overlooks the family room, so she’s part of the conversation as she works), and eventually joinedContinue reading “Ten Thousand Days”

On Being ‘The Grenade’

Dearest Rachel – I’ve spoken to certain people who find themselves amused at some of the stories I tell you about my life lived after you, particularly those having to do with finding a successor to you (if you’d want to call her that). It offers a measure of comfort to me that, if IContinue reading “On Being ‘The Grenade’”

Up and Out

Dearest Rachel – You might remember the scene at the end of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, where Willy Wonka presses the button marked ‘Up and Out.’ “I always wanted to press that button, but never had the nerve,” he says – and I may be paraphrasing. And for good reason, as the elevator smashesContinue reading “Up and Out”

Settling For Less

Dearest Rachel – So, last night, the girls came over – probably for the last time for the next month. Since I had fixed a meal last time (well, sort of; I’d heated up a bunch of stuff that I’d gotten from Costco and whatever), I suggested that once we were assembled at the house,Continue reading “Settling For Less”

Dancing While It’s All Torn Down

Dearest Rachel – This is probably what comes of driving to the ‘office’ as the weather chills, and the rains that fall are cold and unpleasant. As I’ve said, I’m no runner, and I have no desire to expose myself to that sort of weather if I don’t have to. That being said, it’s suchContinue reading “Dancing While It’s All Torn Down”

The Shoe Finally Drops

Dearest Rachel – I teased about this the other day, because it was happening almost at the same time I was writing about dealing with another scammer on the dating app. But this one was longer in coming around. In fact, I was wondering if it would even actually happen. But I think I knewContinue reading “The Shoe Finally Drops”

Is It Really ‘Just A Number’?

Dearest Rachel – In my continued adventures in online dating, I’ve noticed that ones who have been responding to me have tended to be younger than myself. Coming from a cultural background where that’s more the rule than the exception (sure, there are plenty of couples where both are more or less the same age,Continue reading “Is It Really ‘Just A Number’?”

Nine Whole Months

Dearest Rachel – No, it’s not quite been that long; believe me, I’m painfully aware of each time the twenty-third of the month has rolled around. We’ll be there in a couple of days, yes, but that’s not what this letter is about. No, what’s going on right now is something that just arrived inContinue reading “Nine Whole Months”

A New Theme Song

Dearest Rachel – I think I’ve mentioned the joke before in these letters, and when we were all watching certain meme channels, we were familiar with it, but it bears repeating: if you think of your life as a television series, your alarm clock is basically your theme music, since it’s what starts each episode.Continue reading “A New Theme Song”

Ore Wo Sagashite

Anata, Rei-sama – 私は自分が誰であるか、そして人生と愛から何を求めているかを発見する必要があります。 そうでなければ、私は自分が「めぐみ」を見て、彼女があなたかエリンのどちらかであることを願っていることに気付くかもしれません。 Okay… hopefully, I’ve put off all of those who might be scared off by the gratuitous Japanese. We can talk in reasonable privacy. I’m starting this letter I’m sitting on a park bench in Kimball Hill Park, staring at the fountain in the middle of the lake. You and IContinue reading “Ore Wo Sagashite”

The Point of Deception

Dearest Rachel – I had originally planned on writing you about how nice it was to have conversations first thing in the morning… but then, things took a bit of a turn. And I’m afraid this isn’t really a trip down memory lane. More often than not, while I would make a point of kissingContinue reading “The Point of Deception”

Public Cake

Dearest Rachel – Let me start out by saying that this is not a love story. And I feel like I should be apologizing for that. This whole collection of letters to you were supposed to be an outpouring of love and reminiscences about our time together and what you meant to me. And whileContinue reading “Public Cake”

Surprises

Dearest Rachel – I’ll tell you, this year thus far has been absolutely full of surprises. Which means that it’s probably a good thing you’re not around to deal with them, as you hated surprises. This was particularly evident when it came to birthdays and holidays – anything having to do with gift-giving. The longContinue reading “Surprises”

Unsettled

Dearest Rachel – It’s a challenging thing to try to navigate the ocean that is the dating pool. I chatted with a woman who seemed frustrated that the men she was meeting didn’t seem to know what they wanted out of a woman. Since I didn’t see her as a potential match (and therefore wasContinue reading “Unsettled”

Not In Crazy

Dearest Rachel – I understand that there’s an old saying about relationships: “Don’t stick your [neck] into crazy.” I’m pretty sure I’m off by a couple of letters there, but I think you get the idea. I bring this up to update you on the story of the, ah… woman? bot? that I spoke ofContinue reading “Not In Crazy”

Sending Smiles

Dearest Rachel – Well, it’s been done. I’ve created a profile, with Jan’s input and assistance, and it’s out there online for people to see. I don’t know how accurate it is, or whether I’ve shown too much or too little of my hand, but well… that’s how it is. What’s also ‘how it is’Continue reading “Sending Smiles”

No Such Thing as Forever

Dearest Rachel – Today is the first time all week I’m walking. And to tell the truth, I feel a little guilty about having delayed it this long. Not that I’m particularly concerned about how much exercise I get (although I’m quite sure I should be), but that I might be disappointing someone. You see,Continue reading “No Such Thing as Forever”

Wondering if the Chains Will Hold

Dearest Rachel – When I was a little kid, I really wasn’t much for roller coasters. The idea of being spun around and inverted at those dizzying speeds, suspended at heights that, were I to fall from, would undoubtedly kill me (and that was merely the drop itself; never mind the metal mechanisms and trackContinue reading “Wondering if the Chains Will Hold”

Seeing Other People

Dearest Rachel – It’s hard for me to wrap my head around it now, seeing as to how for so many years the two of us would appear in public practically joined at the hip. But in those early days of our relationship, we had, shall we say, “spaces in our togetherness.” In a way,Continue reading “Seeing Other People”

Worshiping Golden Calves

Dearest Rachel – There’s a bit of Sunday school jokelore, wherein a young boy is asked about his favorite story from the Bible. “I like the part where Moses breaks all the Ten Commandments!” is the enthusiastic response. Well, he’s not exactly wrong. File this under r/technicallythetruth. Yes, honey, this is the sermon this weekend,Continue reading “Worshiping Golden Calves”

Losing Track

Dearest Rachel – It was probably a bad call on my part, but I decided not to walk to the ‘office’ this morning. Well, there was a reason behind it: I had assumed I’d be walking this evening with Erin at Melas Park. But you know that old saying about what happens when you assumeContinue reading “Losing Track”

The Liberation of Surrender

Dearest Rachel – So just last night, I was observing how difficult it was for me to follow my own advice, and simply (and completely) give up on the possibility of finding another life partner like yourself. This morning, on the other hand, I find myself considering just how much better off I am, nowContinue reading “The Liberation of Surrender”

Trying to Take My Own Advice

Dearest Rachel – I’m sure by now that you’ve noticed a lot of my letters to you seem a little bit disjointed and disorganized. They do tend to bounce around from thought to thought within the alleged confines of the topic I’ve decided to cover in the letter (and even then sometimes it’s hard toContinue reading “Trying to Take My Own Advice”

To What Purpose?

Dearest Rachel – It has been a while since I last identified myself as such, and probably even longer since someone else has, but the other day, I was told that I was “task-oriented.” Now, that’s not news to me; in my many struggles with my boss back in the day, I often brought upContinue reading “To What Purpose?”