The Point of Deception

Dearest Rachel –

I had originally planned on writing you about how nice it was to have conversations first thing in the morning… but then, things took a bit of a turn.

And I’m afraid this isn’t really a trip down memory lane. More often than not, while I would make a point of kissing you goodbye before I headed off to work, you would be sleeping through most of my preparations to leave – even the noise of the shower rarely woke you (although when it did… well, that’s another story entirely).

No, this is about the activity picking up on the dating app I’d signed up on. For the last couple of mornings, I’ve been awakened to the ‘ping’ of text messages coming from girls (and I think I can call them that, as it’s not meant to be a diminutive – they’re just younger than I am. As I understand it, the female of the species tends to appreciate being mistaken for younger than she is; I know you certainly did) who have found my profile appealing – actually, one of them actually used the term ‘intriguing’ – and want to talk to me, but would prefer to do so outside of the app.

And after all this time, so would I. Profiles disappear from the app, as do the conversations associated with them (in fact, today I simply decided to create a file of screenshots of the people I’m currently communicating with, just in case they disappear from the app like [she] and L and Misty and Nausicaä have), but texts can be forever, if you have enough space on your phone. Forget the safety warnings; I want to remember who I’ve been talking to, and it’s better and easier if I use the regular text function on my phone.

But it comes at the cost of my phone actually making noise at some fairly odd hours – which admittedly, is partly on me for having set my phone right by my nightstand to charge. And who expects a text at four or five in the morning, anyway?

It would seem that I should be going forward, if these two are any indication. Yesterday, it was Naruko, from Skokie (a place I haven’t been to since my grandfather passed away and my grandmother moved to our village to be closer to Dad and the rest of the family, so… probably before Naruko here was even born).

Naruko ANJOU (from Anohana: The Flower We Saw That Day)

She tells me that she works as a cardiologist for Doctors Without Borders, which is quite impressive. At the moment, however, she is apparently waiting for her next assignment. For all that intellect, she seems to have trouble describing herself and her situation, although I have gotten that she’s something of a loner (which I can certainly relate to), but after so many years of being on her own, she’s tired of it. It would be nice to see what might develop of this, but we’re currently not quite on each other’s schedules, time-wise. Still it hasn’t been that long.

Then this morning, there was Revy, from… well… that’s the story I figured I’d write you about.

Revy's Hair Down #blacklagoon #revytwohands | Down ...

You see, after sending her a smile, she texted me at a little after four in the morning (in the app, thankfully, so it didn’t wake me up). After I responded to her some time after six, she suggested texting – which, as I’ve just mentioned, is warned against by the site, but come on, now. So I gave her my number, and while still lying in bed, I chatted with her about what each of us is looking for from the site, and how we came to be here.

And this is where things went off the rails quickly.

After having given me a fairly substantial info dump of her situation, she asked me about swapping pictures. Again, not a particular red flag, although considering that I was still lying in bed, I pointed out that I was suffering from a nasty case of bed head, and would need to freshen up before taking a selfie for her (not that I’m particularly good at the process, but judging from some folks out here, I’m no worse than the average – and you get what that means for the other 50%). But before I stepped into the shower, I took a good look at the tale she spun about her life situation. On her profile, Ravi claims to be a 46-year-old divorcee living in Chicago (and I did notice that the phone number she gave had an area code suggesting that it was from San Antonio, but hey, people move – why, Erin’s phone still indicates that she’s in Wisconsin, so there’s that), but according to her text, she’s only 36 years old, has never been married, and lives in El Paso. Why, I’m almost old enough to be her father.

I couldn’t help myself; I promptly pointed out the discrepancy, and, like some stock father character, added that “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.”

She quickly fell to explanations, such as having put it together when she was visiting her cousin here in Chicago, but that doesn’t explain the age and marital status differences. She did send a few photographs (which I might add matched roughly with the ones in her profile, so she has that over Misty), and I responded in kind. She even admitted that she would understand if I didn’t want to talk to her after this. Honestly, it doesn’t bother me, and I do wish her well, but I told her she needed to get her story straight; If she’s going to misrepresent herself, she can’t make it this obvious. I may have just woken up, but even I saw through it. I told her that any other guy would be suspicious of her as well, and probably not nearly as forgiving.

Really, the reason I pointed it out right off the bat – besides the obvious need to call her out for lying – was the fact that I was genuinely curious. Why would anyone bother to do this? What is the point of this deception? I really want to understand. Did she expect me to travel all the way from Chicago to El Paso to see her? And what of the other discrepancies? Personally, I would expect a guy to prefer a younger woman, not to mention one who has never been married over a divorcée. Why handicap yourself like that? It’s a mystery to me.

And of course, by giving two differing biographies, she renders her self ineligible to me simply for that; how do I know that either one of those is the truth? She had nothing to gain from this, and everything to lose. Unless, of course, she was trying to dissuade the likes of me (though she gave no such indication), in which case, mission accomplished. But it does still raise more questions than answers.

Oh, well. For now, there’s always Naruko; at least, once she done with her current assignment. Hopefully, we can come to some arrangement to meet up shortly (unless she’s doing the same sort of thing as Revy is).

Until then, wish me luck, honey. It looks like I’m still gonna need it.

Published by randy@letters-to-rachel.memorial

I am Rachel's husband. Was. I'm still trying to deal with it. I probably always will be.

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