NYC It Ain’t

Dearest Rachel – It’s one of those things you don’t necessarily think about while planning, but is absolutely imperative. In fact, it almost goes without saying, although by doing so, one runs the risk of forgetting just how necessary it is to bear in mind, so I might as well point it out: much asContinue reading “NYC It Ain’t”

The Shoe Finally Drops

Dearest Rachel – I teased about this the other day, because it was happening almost at the same time I was writing about dealing with another scammer on the dating app. But this one was longer in coming around. In fact, I was wondering if it would even actually happen. But I think I knewContinue reading “The Shoe Finally Drops”

Asking For Approval

Dearest Rachel – You might’ve been aware of it back in the day, but as it wasn’t necessarily a concern of yours, it was never really discussed, but I always would – and still do – call the folks when I’m on my way to the ‘office.’ It’s not a necessary thing – I haveContinue reading “Asking For Approval”

Curiouser and Curiouser

My! People come and go so quickly here! Dorothy (Judy Garland) observes Glinda’s departure in The Wizard of Oz (1938) Dearest Rachel – You’d probably take me to task a bit for conflating Dorothy Gale… …with Alice Lidell… …just for the sake of an interesting title and quote to lead this letter off with. YouContinue reading “Curiouser and Curiouser”

Nine Whole Months

Dearest Rachel – No, it’s not quite been that long; believe me, I’m painfully aware of each time the twenty-third of the month has rolled around. We’ll be there in a couple of days, yes, but that’s not what this letter is about. No, what’s going on right now is something that just arrived inContinue reading “Nine Whole Months”

The Point of Deception

Dearest Rachel – I had originally planned on writing you about how nice it was to have conversations first thing in the morning… but then, things took a bit of a turn. And I’m afraid this isn’t really a trip down memory lane. More often than not, while I would make a point of kissingContinue reading “The Point of Deception”

Going Buy-Buy

Dearest Rachel – I let the first of the month get past me, but I was otherwise occupied with a houseguest, after all. Indeed, it wasn’t until last Thursday that I realized I had missed my Monday appointment at the mechanics for your car. Oh well, we can try again later this week, I guess.Continue reading “Going Buy-Buy”

Awaiting the Verdict

Dearest Rachel – It’s seven a.m. Chompers wakes me up with whine; he’s back to his old schedule (after a fashion), and I pick him up, and take him out front. He pees the length of the sidewalk connecting the front stoop to the driveway, and I discover as I set him into his harnessContinue reading “Awaiting the Verdict”

Sudden Drop

Dearest Rachel – Under circumstances that seemed less dire, I’d probably be soundtracking this letter with Citizen King’s “I’ve Seen Better Days,” because the bottom seems to have dropped out all of a sudden. But – since the bottom has seemed to have dropped out all of a sudden – I wonder if that wouldn’tContinue reading “Sudden Drop”

Spot Macbeth

Dearest Rachel – No, this does not refer to some Shakespearean take on Where’s Waldo, although the idea of Martin Handford drawing a crowd in the Globe Theatre into which the actor portraying the Scottish usurper is trying to blend while being pursued by Macduff and Malcolm makes for an interesting image. Considering Handford’s BritishContinue reading “Spot Macbeth”

Everything Looks Different in the Morning – But What About the Afternoon?

Dearest Rachel – One of the things they talked about at Grief Share last night was the difference between actively pursuing suicide, and the simple desire to no longer live. The latter is an attitude of “if you were to take me, too, God, I wouldn’t mind,” and is a fairly normal reaction to theContinue reading “Everything Looks Different in the Morning – But What About the Afternoon?”

Unsettled

Dearest Rachel – It’s a challenging thing to try to navigate the ocean that is the dating pool. I chatted with a woman who seemed frustrated that the men she was meeting didn’t seem to know what they wanted out of a woman. Since I didn’t see her as a potential match (and therefore wasContinue reading “Unsettled”

The Point of the Tree

Dearest Rachel – I have a lot of questions for God. And this is despite the fact that I know that I have no more right to ask them that Job did. Actually, probably considerably less right, given that even God himself referred to him as ‘righteous,’ which most likely could not be applied toContinue reading “The Point of the Tree”

Leave Behind a Morsel

Dearest Rachel – Back in the 70s and 80s, my great aunt Belva participated in a ministry for international students attending Northwestern; inviting them over for a home-cooked meal, introducing them to our church community, that sort of thing. She had a great knack for keeping in touch with ‘her students’ after they graduated andContinue reading “Leave Behind a Morsel”

Civic Duty Never Ends

Dearest Rachel – Out of all the mail received yesterday, the only thing that wasn’t either an advertisement or a plea for money (but I suppose I repeat myself) was a summons for you to appear for jury duty in about a month for now. I suppose, since your death was recorded in a differentContinue reading “Civic Duty Never Ends”

Seeing Other People

Dearest Rachel – It’s hard for me to wrap my head around it now, seeing as to how for so many years the two of us would appear in public practically joined at the hip. But in those early days of our relationship, we had, shall we say, “spaces in our togetherness.” In a way,Continue reading “Seeing Other People”

Worshiping Golden Calves

Dearest Rachel – There’s a bit of Sunday school jokelore, wherein a young boy is asked about his favorite story from the Bible. “I like the part where Moses breaks all the Ten Commandments!” is the enthusiastic response. Well, he’s not exactly wrong. File this under r/technicallythetruth. Yes, honey, this is the sermon this weekend,Continue reading “Worshiping Golden Calves”

Filling In the Details

Dearest Rachel – Look, I warned you that I would be using the ‘detail’ pun for most of these early iterations regarding the kitchen and laundry room remodelings. I may stop by April or May, when the contractors are here day in and day out, but for now, the occasional nature what’s being done allowsContinue reading “Filling In the Details”

A Bullet for the Critic

Dearest Rachel – Midnight! Two! Six! What is with this dog, that he can’t tell me a decent nights sleep?! After all, if Daniel is to be believed (and he’s never been a very good liar), the old boy sleeps plenty soundly during the day. Okay, maybe I have my answer, there. And to beContinue reading “A Bullet for the Critic”

Other People’s Problems

Dearest Rachel – As much as she insists that she is not – and has no desire to be – “Megumi,” Erin does have a curious knack for proving my point that ‘it is not right for a man to be alone.’ If I wander around, lost in my own thoughts, before too long, thoseContinue reading “Other People’s Problems”

Self-Indulgence and Survivor’s Guilt

Dearest Rachel – Among the many reasons why I wish you were still here, you could remind me of some of the things we did together back in the day. I have mostly vague recollections, and the occasional sharp image or phrase, but that’s about it. Sometimes, the only way I can remember when somethingContinue reading “Self-Indulgence and Survivor’s Guilt”

Tetris Skillz

Dearest Rachel – “Use your Tetris skills!” Jeff says. You have no idea how much I miss you right now. There must be about a dozen of us here, guys coming straight from the Saturday morning Bible study, to help a couple move out. All this stuff is going into storage, at least for theContinue reading “Tetris Skillz”

What To Do About VidCon?

Dearest Rachel – So, the news has come down the pike… they’re actually holding VidCon this year. It’s going to be in October this year, rather than June or July, but it’s still happening. I wonder how that’s going to fly with its core audience, which seems to be kids who otherwise ought to beContinue reading “What To Do About VidCon?”

I’m So Sorry, Mrs. Gecsy

Dearest Rachel – There’s a lot of wrenching decisions to be made in the process of cleaning up the house. One of those is the question of what to do with all the artwork. Like with the pictures of your family going back generations and then out several times removed, I have no emotional connectionContinue reading “I’m So Sorry, Mrs. Gecsy”

Three Lefts

Dearest Rachel – I’m sure you’re familiar with the old saying that ‘two wrongs don’t make a right.’ And I’m sure that Relient K weren’t the first people to come up with it when they added the subtitle ‘(but three lefts do)’ to one of their albums. But that’s the full phrase that goes throughContinue reading “Three Lefts”

What Size His Domain?

Dearest Rachel – For all the time he spends asleep, it’s amazing how hard Chompers resists being put to bed at night time. there are times when it’s an absolutely titanic struggle to get him to find a place where he’s comfortable enough to curl up and go to sleep. Considering how he has veryContinue reading “What Size His Domain?”

The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part nine – conclusion, for now)

Dearest Rachel – The letters that I wrote you back when we were officially courting never had titles. They were either filling you in on the things that were going on in my life while we were separated, or explaining the songs that I was sending you along with the letter, or just telling youContinue reading “The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part nine – conclusion, for now)”

The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part eight – “Megumi”)

Dearest Rachel – So, now you’re gone. And I’m on my own, still raising Daniel, but essentially alone. And I don’t mind telling you, I hate it. So much so, that I am already seeking God’s will to find somebody new. Not so much as to take your place as… maybe fill the spot youContinue reading “The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part eight – “Megumi”)”

The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part seven – You)

Dearest Rachel – I could have easily switched this part and that about work in chronological order. As it was, I did write you that crucial letter before I was actually situated in the position that ultimately became my career. But that was when I expected to have to write you off, along with prettyContinue reading “The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part seven – You)”

The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part six – Work)

Dearest Rachel – While the choice of a career would tend to ultimately dictate where one works, it doesn’t always follow that strictly. There’s a difference between working for a firm whose industry is that of your chosen profession, and working for a company that needs departmental staff that perform said profession. That is theContinue reading “The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part six – Work)”

The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part five – Dena)

Dearest Rachel – While I tried to reinvent myself with a more outgoing persona at college, I still wasn’t the type to seek out any actual relationships. Still, the close quarters environment was pretty nice for more casual friendships, and those I had plenty of. Indeed, I learned early on in college that I gotContinue reading “The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part five – Dena)”

The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part three – Chris)

Dearest Rachel – The most amazing thing about my relationship with you was the fact that you had never really been interested in boys prior to me writing to you after graduating from college. Granted, this is getting slightly ahead of myself, but this is a situation that I know is unique and remarkable. Oh,Continue reading “The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part three – Chris)”

The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part two – Major)

Dearest Rachel – So yesterday, I mentioned how I rarely ever consulted with God about my plans for the future – or at least, I don’t really recall having engaged in in deep, prayerful discussions with Him on the subject. I know I never heard His voice on any major decision or turning point inContinue reading “The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part two – Major)”

The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part one – Introduction)

Dearest Rachel – Looking back over a number of these entries, it’s somewhat embarrassing to see how often everything is peppered with first-person pronouns. “I,” “me,” “my,” and the like are spread all over the place, when this is supposed to be about you. And yet, just about everything I know about you comes fromContinue reading “The Lord Never Spoke to Me (part one – Introduction)”