On My Own To Decide

Dearest Rachel – I’ve mentioned to you before the ambivalence I have toward the fact that I (theoretically) can decide for myself what to do at any given time. There is something nice about being able to go out on a whim, like I did this morning, and grab breakfast without worrying about needing toContinue reading “On My Own To Decide”

I Still Need to Get Out More

Dearest Rachel – I hear the occasional comment about how unusual our weather is this winter, but I can’t say that I’ve seen any real evidence of it. For instance, I’ve heard that last month has the least amount of sunlight for January since we’ve been keeping track of that; I have no idea howContinue reading “I Still Need to Get Out More”

The Fear of Possible Patterns

Dearest Rachel – So… now it’s 2023. Soon, it will have been two years since the accident that took you from us… and in a couple of months, it will have been another two years since your mom’s passing… and yet another two years since your dad, when this all started. I don’t know aboutContinue reading “The Fear of Possible Patterns”

The Death of Christmas Adam

Dearest Rachel – I think it came from a library book about ‘family phrases,’ where a bunch of cute private terms that were used within various family groups were catalogued. In there was an entry giving a name to the day before the day before Christmas, likely coined by an impatient kid trying to weaselContinue reading “The Death of Christmas Adam”

Another Weight Lifted

Dearest Rachel – One of the advantages of being confined to the bedroom while the boys are watching anime in the family room is that, if I get tired or bored, I can just shut my eyes and I’m already in bed. As a result, I’m pretty sure I was asleep before ten last night.Continue reading “Another Weight Lifted”

A Tight Fist or an Open Palm?

Dearest Rachel – There’s a meme that I think existed when you were still around; whether you’d recognize it or not is debatable. After nineteen months (and no, I haven’t forgotten, but there is more to write to you about today than merely commemorating the passage of time), you may well have forgotten about allContinue reading “A Tight Fist or an Open Palm?”

Your Big Brother is Dying

Dearest Rachel – There were a lot of factors I could point to that conspired to present last night’s dream. There’s been all the work that’s been done her at our house, and the issues involved with navigating around everything while it’s been worked on. Hand in glove with that is the current issue withContinue reading “Your Big Brother is Dying”

The Modesty of a Child

Dearest Rachel – It’s something of a shame, but it sometimes seems that it requires a special occasion for the family to get together at a restaurant after church these days, when that used to be a weekly tradition. Then again, this is the second week in a row that we’ve been able to doContinue reading “The Modesty of a Child”

Abandoned

Dearest Rachel – Last night’s dream was a weird one to wake up from. What I can remember of it had to do with the family and a handful of others (including animals) needing to get back from somewhere in central Missouri, and quickly. So, while most of the others got cars to drive homeContinue reading “Abandoned”

If I Could See My Way Clear

Dearest Rachel – Well, it could’ve happened at a worse time. Barely an hour before Jenn was supposed to pick me up so that we could drive to cousin Jim’s memorial service in the Twin Cities area, I get the bright idea to clean my glasses. Just as I start to rub the lens withContinue reading “If I Could See My Way Clear”

Family Room No More

Dearest Rachel – As much as I like the setup I have in the yellow room upstairs, and I’m glad for an alternate bedroom to use while the construction begins in the laundry room next week, I’m a little bit concerned about getting too comfortable up there. I fell asleep in the recliner pretty quicklyContinue reading “Family Room No More”

Who Was That Tomato?

Dearest Rachel – During my final year in college, I took both a business class in marketing, and an art class in graphic design. I’m not entirely certain, therefore, which class introduced me to the Wolfschmidt Vodka ad campaign. Dating from either the late 50s or the early 60s, it was one of the firstContinue reading “Who Was That Tomato?”

Guess He Needed Another Hug

Dearest Rachel – Long ago, in my late teens or early twenties, I came to the conclusion that suicide was essentially a very selfish act. Those who did so, did so without taking into account how others would react to it. Each of us has an effect on the lives of others, and to cutContinue reading “Guess He Needed Another Hug”

Fifty-Two Weeks Ago (part three)

Dearest Rachel – I hadn’t anticipated writing a third part to this, but the way certain parts of my life have come full circle – and so many all at once – it’s a wonder I don’t get dizzy. The folks even pointed it out to me as they extended the invite last night. EvenContinue reading “Fifty-Two Weeks Ago (part three)”

Back On the… Horse?

Dearest Rachel – Usually, after dinner at their house, Daniel and I will follow Dad into the family room to chat for an hour or so. You probably remember those days well enough when we would be invited over, although you’ll understand that it’s on more frequent – and regular – occasion these days. ForgiveContinue reading “Back On the… Horse?”

Present People

Dearest Rachel – I’ve mentioned before to you that I’ve had some difficulty with regard to the traditional gift exchange that is a part of Christmas: what do I want, or more to the point, what can they get for me? Materially speaking, I have pretty much anything I need, and if Daniel or IContinue reading “Present People”

Dropping the Royal Orb

Dearest Rachel – I got so engrossed in my work downstairs today, and that I never noticed the passing of time. It wasn’t until almost eleven that I looked up and realized that Dad and I should have left the house over an hour previously, and I just screamed in anger and frustration at myselfContinue reading “Dropping the Royal Orb”

Costumes

Dearest Rachel – There are so many things to say on this Halloween; so many memories to call up. It was a Halloween I am which I first sat with you in the cafeteria at breakfast, decked out as a denim clad mime, but unable to keep silent. Since I’d made up my face toContinue reading “Costumes”

from Rachel: A Place to Belong

“May 7 “Yes, I feel it does. On Monday nights I am a Sparks leader and have been the song leader. On Tuesday mornings I babysit the children of any moms who choose to attend the Bible Study. I take home all of the office’s paper trash for recycling. Wednesday night we have choir orContinue reading “from Rachel: A Place to Belong”

Asking For Approval

Dearest Rachel – You might’ve been aware of it back in the day, but as it wasn’t necessarily a concern of yours, it was never really discussed, but I always would – and still do – call the folks when I’m on my way to the ‘office.’ It’s not a necessary thing – I haveContinue reading “Asking For Approval”

Open Door Policy

…As I told you, the door to my office is always open. I think you know why it’s always open – that was stolen, I’d like that returned. Bob Newhart, Captain’s remarks from “The Cruise of the U.S.S. Codfish,” The Button-Down Mind of Bob Newhart (1960) Dearest Rachel – I used to think that oursContinue reading “Open Door Policy”

The Most Important Hour of My Life – On An Insignificant Day

Dearest Rachel – I feel like I should apologize for the poor quality of this video. But the tape is, after all, twenty-nine years old, and it hasn’t been played in maybe ten, fifteen years; it can’t be expected to hold up all that well for all that time, especially on such an outdated andContinue reading “The Most Important Hour of My Life – On An Insignificant Day”

Filling In the Details

Dearest Rachel – Look, I warned you that I would be using the ‘detail’ pun for most of these early iterations regarding the kitchen and laundry room remodelings. I may stop by April or May, when the contractors are here day in and day out, but for now, the occasional nature what’s being done allowsContinue reading “Filling In the Details”

The Comfort of His Chair

Dearest Rachel – It seems I owe my sister an apology. In fact, I think we both do. The thing is, we were in over our heads in so many different areas of our life. And only now am I trying to work my way through rebuilding some of those areas that so desperately needContinue reading “The Comfort of His Chair”

No One to Reminisce With

Dear Rachel – I don’t know if you’re aware of it – I realize that there are a lot of people to meet and greet up there in heaven, and a hundred days is probably not enough to even familiarize yourself with the smallest portion of your new-found eternal family members – but my AuntContinue reading “No One to Reminisce With”