Dearest Rachel –
Friday in Honduras is what’s referred to as “adventure day” by the folks at Just One for the members of the visiting “vision teams.” It’s meant to be a day of fun, a respite from and, to some extent, a reward (yes, there’s that term again) for the work put into the previous four days. Rather than heading to the campus (although we do end up there by mid-afternoon for the devotional service being held by and for the students), we go out on a touristic adventure, which I’ve described for you during earlier visits.
Today, when the call to “adventure” came ringing, I decided to hang up on it.
Not that I don’t like these sorts of things – although I’ve told you before how disquieting it is to be enjoying myself too much in the midst of a place like this. It’s as if we shouldn’t have the right to enjoy ourselves like this; isn’t it enough that we go home to so much comfort, do we dare to relax in front of an entire community whose struggles are part of why we’re down here? But I will admit that after yesterday afternoon, I confess to being in need of a break, too, and would, under other circumstances, wholeheartedly embrace the chance to go out and enjoy myself. If nothing else, I’ve come to accept that the tourist dollar is part of how these people pull themselves out of the worst of their struggles.
The thing is, the very reason (or at least, one of the reasons) I was so exhausted may cause problems were I to head out and about for an extended period of time without access to, erm… facilities. While I was (and still am) not so much as incapacitated by “el chorrillo” (literally, “the little stream.” I don’t think I need to say anything more) like at least one of our number, I was already dealing with a mild form of it as early as yesterday afternoon; and indeed, it may have contributed to my fatigue by dehydrating me in a way that one normally doesn’t think about. After continuing to deal with this issue throughout the early part of this morning, I decided that it would be best for me not to be caught short while out for all that time – if nothing else, I might be too tired to truly enjoy myself – and spend the “adventure day” doing nothing of the sort. It’s still a form of relaxation; just not one that anyone originally had in mind.
It’s a bit of a pity, too, as it sounds like the group is doing something different this time around; rather than kayaking on a river, heading out into a major lake in the area, they’ll be going zip lining through a rainforest, and past a waterfall in particular. I can imagine that the views would be impressive; our lead organizer, in particular, describes it as hypnotic, and admits to being able to lose track of time while staring at it.
Now to be fair, she’s also skipping out on the trip today, but in her case, it’s because she needs to fly back to the States, so that she can preside at a fundraising project tomorrow in central Wisconsin. Still, she’s been here for all three weeks that they’ve had “vision teams” working out of the campus, so it isn’t as if she hasn’t had a couple of “adventure days” already, even if she’s also had to deal with the additional burden of arranging said days in the first place. Once the arrangements are made, she seems to be able to enjoy herself while in the middle of them, anyway.
At the moment, I’m wondering if I haven’t made a bad call. From all external perspectives, I look and sound perfectly healthy. I’m ambulatory and reasonably communicative; and apart from a slight headache, I feel fine. If I didn’t explain that and why I’m not leaving the hotel, no one would understand. Even as things stand, there’s nothing obvious that would suggest that I ought to take this course of action, especially since I’m missing out on something I haven’t done before.
The problem is, I’d no idea if I would remain so for the next however many hours the others would be out for. It may well be that I could have managed out there just fine; as it is, I’ve had to take a couple of bathroom breaks since they left, but that could be because it was available to me in a way that it wouldn’t while I was out. Meanwhile, I also seem to have lost at least an hour to sleep despite feeling like I was laying in bed for the longest time with no result; perhaps that’s what I really needed.
In retrospect, it probably could have been lived with. Any option involving “better safe than sorry” as a mantra will always leave one “sorry,” if only for the choice not taken. Who knows? I’d like to think that I’ll be in better shape to join the others for a final devotional service on campus with the students; I’ll certainly be of a better appetite for our farewell dinner.
Still, if you’d be willing, honey, keep your eye on all of us, and wish us well. We’re going to need it.
Letters to Rachel 