Dearest Rachel – I hate dreams like the one last night, full of love and affection and false hope. I suppose I should be grateful for the fact that at this point, they don’t come around very much, but when they do, they hit hard, especially when I become aware of what’s going on, andContinue reading “I Hate Such Dreams”
Tag Archives: wishes
No Place to Socialize
Dearest Rachel – I was heading out of the gym the other day after putting in an unusually long session (a full hour and a half, plus a couple of five-minute cooldown walks in between) and encountered an older woman talking with her peer at the reception desk. Her shirt read “I may be twiceContinue reading “No Place to Socialize”
I Understand Bear
Dearest Rachel – I think you would have enjoyed the cinematic crop that’s been coming out this past year or so, honey. Not the big-studio, big-budget stuff so much, as the independent material that is starting to come out, doing an end-run around such systems and, while not exactly slaying the multitude of Goliaths thatContinue reading “I Understand Bear”
If I’d Had the Time…
Dearest Rachel – Of late, I’ve begun to wonder what I would have done if your departure was anything more than the sudden shock that it was. If we’d known that it was coming – and been of the understanding that there was nothing to be done to prevent it (a combination which, to beContinue reading “If I’d Had the Time…”
Strange Delivery
Dearest Rachel – I’ve told you about mysterious deliveries that I’ve gotten at home, starting from the first few months or so after your departure. I have my suspicions as to who might’ve been responsible in one case or another, but nothing concrete to go on. However, as it turns out, I’m not the onlyContinue reading “Strange Delivery”
Maybe We Don’t WANT Closure
Dearest Rachel – Happy fifty-fifth birthday, honey. This is it; the day we set you adrift the way you wanted to be. This is why we’re here – right down to why we’ve waited so long – we wanted to make sure your closest friends were here to share this moment. Given how long it’sContinue reading “Maybe We Don’t WANT Closure”
Am I Really Okay?
Dearest Rachel – You already know I started writing these letters to you to try and remember this or that incident in our lives together and attempt to commit them to paper (or at least pixels) before they were erased from mind and memory like words written in the sand on a tide-washed beach. However,Continue reading “Am I Really Okay?”
The Daruma’s Eye
Dearest Rachel – I’m sure you remember how, whenever we would travel, we would bring home certain souvenirs that were meant to be used or consumed – usually food products, but occasionally something else. We were fully aware of their purpose, and in many cases, that we only had a limited time in which theyContinue reading “The Daruma’s Eye”
“When?”
Dearest Rachel – There’s a scene near the beginning of the movie Blazing Saddles which serves as an establishing character moment for Gene Wilder’s Waco Kid. After being offered something for breakfast by Sheriff Bart (and turning it down, claiming “food makes me sick”), he takes yet another long swig from his whiskey bottle, muchContinue reading ““When?””
Only in Fairy Tales
Dearest Rachel – Every so often, someone tells me that “oh, don’t worry; God has someone out there for you.” And, as much as I like hearing that, and I’d like to believe that, I really don’t dare – and I rather wish they would stop (to be fair, it’s tapered off over time, soContinue reading “Only in Fairy Tales”
It’s Only Carbon…
Dearest Rachel – The day before your memorial service, Jenn and Lars drove me up to the Milwaukee funeral home where your body had been transported after I had authorized the plug to be pulled on you, and you were declared dead. They were the nearest place that did cremations, and it would be cheaper,Continue reading “It’s Only Carbon…”
As You Would Have Wished
Dearest Rachel – I have to admit, I’m still feeling pretty punk this morning. My face feels like it’s in a vice, and I’ve been coughing just enough so that I‘ve only been able to get about an hour of sleep at a time, before waking myself up by my own convulsions. Needless to say,Continue reading “As You Would Have Wished”
It’s Just Another Day, Innit?
Dearest Rachel – I still have that balloon that Our Father allowed to drop on our driveway last year at this time, and let me pretend was from you. It’s long since gone flat in a bin in the basement, but I can’t help but treasure it, as I don’t think I can expect suchContinue reading “It’s Just Another Day, Innit?”
Eleven Months Home
Dearest Rachel – I had to save the most painful secular song for today, since it’s been eleven months since the accident. You didn’t think I’d forget what the twenty-third of the month was so soon, did you? It’s hard to think about it that way, since none of us on this since think ofContinue reading “Eleven Months Home”
Letters to Rachel 