I Understand Bear

Dearest Rachel –

I think you would have enjoyed the cinematic crop that’s been coming out this past year or so, honey. Not the big-studio, big-budget stuff so much, as the independent material that is starting to come out, doing an end-run around such systems and, while not exactly slaying the multitude of Goliaths that are out there, giving them plenty of black eyes in the process, as the studios can’t seem to capture the same lightning in a bottle that the indie guys can. One of your favorite “Let’s Players,” Markiplier, has been among that crowd of folks making a dent – and a profit – in the movie industry this way, in fact.

And, I should mention, most of these shoestring budget auteurs create horror, which you would appreciate in a way that I really… don’t – at least, not much. Not that the boys haven’t tried to get me into this or that – particularly Logan, who’s already dragging Daniel to the theaters as it is; I guess he figures that it would hardly be that much more challenging to convince me to go as my son. Frankly, I think he’s underestimating the situation – it’s not a genre that appeals to me to begin with, and I’m quite conscious of the weird dynamic of a parent tagging along with his kid on the latter’s recreational activities, to boot.

He hasn’t been entirely unsuccessful, though, convincing me to join them to see The Backrooms shortly after returning from our trip (or was it just before we left? I can’t remember, and I don’t seem to have written to you about it, even in passing). It was based on a creepypasta that originally appeared on 4chan a few years ago – yes, its entire life cycle postdates you, which is terrifying in itself for me to grasp – about a world that exists just below the world’s surface.

The gist is that one could ‘noclip’ – as if the two worlds were part of a glitchy video game (wow, two mentions of the simulation theory in two days!) and you could pass between the two at points where the barrier between them wasn’t properly coded – into this other world of bland, slightly unsettling walls and decor that tries to replicate the look of what might be referred to as World Prime, but can’t quite do so convincingly. Moreover, the fact that is even trying to change itself to appear more like World Prime suggests a sentient environment, which is a pretty scary thought in and of itself – even as this isn’t really spelled out throughout the run of the movie. So yeah, it’s a film that makes one think; and it doesn’t answer many of the questions it poses, so I don’t think I’m spoiling much by telling you all this.

But at the same time as this film came out, another indie horror film was released, one that didn’t appear to have the same kind of internet connections as The Backrooms or Iron Lung, but no matter. And I’ve only read a synopsis of this, because Daniel has told Logan flatly that Obsession, for all that it is the biggest smash of these three indie horror releases (making thus far some $400 million on a budget of $750 thousand), holds absolutely no appeal to him. And I understand why, because it’s rooted in relationships that, like you, once upon a time, he has no interest in.

But for my money, while I suspect that some of the tropes of the genre would put me off from checking it out (and even before the true horror sets in, there are scenes that would best be described in the modern vernacular as “cringe,” which I’m also no fan of, because I can picture them all too well), there are parts of the story that sound amazingly relatable.

The focal characters are Ian, Sarah, Nikki and a fellow named Bear (and I assume that’s not his real name. Heck, based on that name, I’m going to assume he’s a big guy, too, as I haven’t seen a still from the film; I’ve just read about it). They work together, and hang out together after work – something I would never do with my work colleagues, as it would remind me that much more of work. But that’s beside the point.

The thing is, Bear has a huge crush on Nikki – and no wonder; not only does she have this sort of understated beauty that she doesn’t make a big deal of, she’s the kind of girl you feel you can say anything to (within reason, of course). Any guy would consider himself lucky to find someone like her, and get her to date you.

Bear certainly does, and as a result, is so terrified of her rejecting any confession that he refuses to give her one in the first place, even when she tries to weasel one out of her (a sure sign – at least to an outsider – that she’s interested in him). This, I should make abundantly clear, is not where the horror aspect of the film comes in – but just about any guy could relate to him, even as they watch him prove unable to come out and tell Nikki how he feels. Watching it from the outside, I expect, is frustrating, even as they realize they’ve likely been down this road themselves.

In any event, the horror enters in when Bear buys himself some sort of New-Agey talisman that’s supposed to grant wishes, and (you can probably see it coming from here) tells it, “I wish Nikki Freeman loved me more than anyone in the f****** world.”

Now, you might remember how Calvin Klein defined the term “Obsession” (and thus, presumably, their perfume of the same name, which they were trying to advertise) as lying “somewhere between love and madness.” That, of course, is where this wish picks up Nikki’s personality and drops it, closer to the ‘madness’ side. While it’s possible that Nikki actually liked Bear before, grafting this deep form of love that Bear wishes for onto her rather than cultivating it naturally does a number on her, with heavy consequences for the entire friend group (because I understand that Ian and Sarah, being part of the friend group, are caught in the blast radius. Again, bear (pardon the pun) in mind that I haven’t seen the film, so I don’t know, but it stands to reason).

You and I, being otaku, would probably recognize that Nikki was being transformed into what’s referred to as a “yandere,” a mashup of the terms yanderu (病んでる), meaning mentally or emotionally ill, and deredere (でれでれ, “lovey dovey”), meaning to show genuinely strong romantic affection. This is a girl (and it’s always a girl; all the –dere types are exclusively female, for some reason) who will love you to death; she will kill anyone standing between you and her, and if she can’t have you, well… she might just arrange things so that no one can, if you know what I’m saying. At the risk of referencing another title we never saw, School Days might be considered the epitome of this concept, although it was the furthest thing from a masterpiece as an anime can be (for one, the male protagonist is both dumb as a rock and an absolute jerk, even to the girls he supposedly likes; he almost deserves his fate)

Bear, as far as I can tell, isn’t a jerk, and he isn’t necessarily dumb, but in front of the real Nikki (as opposed to the one his wish creates), he doesn’t demonstrate much in the way of smarts; this is why I imagine this film to be cringe-inducing on top of the horror part that would literally scare me out of checking it out. Because I understand Bear; I can think of a couple of girls, off the top of my head, that I might make a similar wish about.

Now, having had such an excellent example of love already in my life (something I imagine Bear hasn’t; but then, he’s less than half my age), I think I might word the wish differently – “I wish that would love me the same way Rachel loved me” – thereby hopefully avoiding the Monkey’s Paw effect. Of course, given the tropes inherent in such a story, there’s probably more than enough ways that wish could be interpreted so as to go wrong, too – particularly if this emotion is just suddenly jammed into the girl’s personality without a by-your-leave, and especially if she’s aware of it flipping on and off like a light switch. I can imagine no one appreciates being puppeted, if they’re aware of being puppeted. It might very well end as badly for me as for Bear – not that I know it ends badly for him, but come on… it’s a horror movie. How else would it end? If nothing else, even while being forced to love him more that anyone else in the world, Nikki also rather hates him for it, I shouldn’t wonder.

That, quite frankly, is the worst ending of all for a guy to deal with.

So with that in mind, maybe you can let your eye wander to the nearest cinema and check this thing out; you’d probably enjoy it more than I would. But apart from that, I appreciate your keeping it on me as I try to avoid being like Bear – and wish me well, as I’m going to need it.