A Little Piece of You

Dearest Rachel – Good friends will help you move; Great friends will help you move bodies. I suppose this means that my sister Jenn and Lars could be considered to be great friends. Now Jenn, as counterintuitive as it might be, should not come as any great surprise. Yes, as siblings, we were – andContinue reading “A Little Piece of You”

A Prayer For Daniel

Father God – First of all, thank You for being willing and desirous for us to call You that. The idea that the Creator of the Universe is willing to consider us His children when we, as a rule, do little more than bring You embarrassment and regret that You even thought to create us,Continue reading “A Prayer For Daniel”

The Question of Elihu

Dearest Rachel – There are certain passages and characters in the Bible whose existence give me pause. I talked with you a few times when I was trying to put together scripts for a possible YouTube channel about the problems I always had with Manassah, who seemed to defy the wisdom of the Proverbs byContinue reading “The Question of Elihu”

At the Scene

Dearest Rachel – From the very first moment this trip was planned, where the team would run from church to camp, I had no idea whether I would be able to stand here. Once I was here, however, it seemed inappropriate for me not to come here. There’s no indication from the way things lookContinue reading “At the Scene”

Overlooked Traumas

Dearest Rachel – So last night at Grief Share, the subject under discussion was that of trauma. And while it could be argued that any loss can be considered traumatic from a certain point of view, tonight’s session dealt somewhat specifically with the likes of the more sudden variety – murders, suicides, multiple deaths (suchContinue reading “Overlooked Traumas”

The Sands of Ho-Na-Lee

Dearest Rachel – There are some days, darling, when I admit that there isn’t much to write to you about. Nothing much is happening, I don’t find myself inspired, and I find myself forcing myself – rather against Jan’s advice – to send you something simply for the sake of sending you something. This isn’tContinue reading “The Sands of Ho-Na-Lee”

A Kiss Atop the Lid

Dearest Rachel – I don’t know if you remember that scene in Tim Burton’s Batman Returns where Serena Kyle enters her apartment with that stock line, “Hi honey, I’m home!” followed by a quick beat, whereupon she adds, “Oh, yeah. That’s right; I live alone.” That’s what it’s like to come home these days. ItContinue reading “A Kiss Atop the Lid”

Having the Right

Dearest Rachel – My parents celebrated their sixty-first wedding anniversary last Friday. It’s a difficult number for me to wrap my head around. Of course, they’ve always been married for seven and a half years longer than I’ve been alive, but the longer I live, the larger their number gets, to the point where it’sContinue reading “Having the Right”

With or Without the Slash

Dearest Rachel – I guess the day has yet to come; I still see the twenty-third of each month as another milestone. It has now been eight months since the accident. Two-thirds of a year. With or without the slash, the numbers two and three have significance today. Of course, I know that others haveContinue reading “With or Without the Slash”

Group Therapy

Dearest Rachel – It’s surprising to consider how busy my weekends are, especially when I’m getting questions from strangers about whether or not I’m free, and I have to answer ‘well, no, not really.’ Today has been a little bit more than usual, however. For what it’s worth, Pastor Joel seems to think I’m readyContinue reading “Group Therapy”

The Thirty-First of the Month

Dearest Rachel – I never really gave much thought to the thirty-first of the month. Yes, certain things occurred on the last day of the month – bills to pay, income transferred, that sort of thing that was more or less routine – but nothing that could be considered upsetting in any way. But theseContinue reading “The Thirty-First of the Month”

Part Of Each Other’s World

Dearest Rachel – Years before I met you – indeed, before I even graduated from high school (although after my relationship with Chris fell apart) – I had come up with a name for my hoped-for “someone,” much like I have done these past few months with the concept of “Megumi.” While I gave itContinue reading “Part Of Each Other’s World”

Drowning Out The Silence

Dearest Rachel – It’s been an unusual day today. After scheduling the plan last week due to some unforeseen delays at the airport, Kat has invited Daniel over to her place, where they’ll do pretty much the same thing that Logan does when he comes here: watching anime. So this means the house has beenContinue reading “Drowning Out The Silence”

Dreams of Summer

Dearest Rachel – This letter is going to be shorter than most, more’s the pity. But I have to move fast and thank you before the sandcastle in my mind loses shape and collapses. Yes, I said thank you. I’ve complained before some times about how Daniel claims to have seen you in his dreams,Continue reading “Dreams of Summer”

The Wife of One’s Youth

Dearest, darling Rachel – You know, I will never apologize for bragging on my folks. Over sixty years together, and they are still going strong. To this very day, my Dad never fails to refer to Mom publicly as “the wife of my youth,” with nods to both Proverbs and Malachi, among others. It’s suchContinue reading “The Wife of One’s Youth”

I Understand the Cherry Tree

Dearest Rachel – Well, it’s another sign of spring these days, when the plant life starts to show off their blossoms and colors for the new season. It’s kind of ironic, that. While you looked forward to the idea of gardening once we bought ourselves a house (with your parents’ assistance: I remember well howContinue reading “I Understand the Cherry Tree”

What, Me Worry? What, Me Weep?

Dearest Rachel – The weird thing about this pandemic epoch we’ve been stuck in is that I actually manage to have my own personal trademark “look,” just like you did by wearing all purple. And it took less than a year to do it. Of course, part of that is because I’m always wearing theContinue reading “What, Me Worry? What, Me Weep?”

I Hope You Had the Time of Your Life

Dearest Rachel – It’s been two months, now. I wonder how many months it will be, or if it will ever happen, when I can see the 23th of the month as something other than “X months since the accident.” I also wonder if Jan has arranged her schedule to make sure I’m busy onContinue reading “I Hope You Had the Time of Your Life”

What is “All Right” Anymore?

Dear Rachel – I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it to you before in these letters, but mornings are just awful sometimes. Even when everything goes right. Chompers slept through the night – even letting me take a shower without waking up and whining, or worse, barking – and got everything out of his systemContinue reading “What is “All Right” Anymore?”

One Final Trip (part 1)

Dearest Rachel – I have yet to find a place that can open your phone up and download the data from it – the last place I went to only seemed to work on actual smart phones (which you forever resisted getting – guess that might have been a good plan at this point) –Continue reading “One Final Trip (part 1)”

So Many Little Things

Dearest Rachel – You know I began this site as a form of therapy – a way to reach out to you despite knowing full well that you would see neither a word nor a pixel of it. It made a sort of bookending sense – we started our courtship by writing letters to eachContinue reading “So Many Little Things”

Thoughts on Therapy

Dearest Rachel – So Daniel and I met with Pastor Scott last week. He reads these letters, so he doesn’t have to ask how I’m doing anymore. This, I’d say, was more for Daniel’s sake. To be honest, I think he needs to get out, and get involved with other people. It’s not something heContinue reading “Thoughts on Therapy”

Nothing Compares To You

Dearest Rachel – I’ll have to dredge up the mix tapes we sent each other to confirm it (yes, you know I kept copies of each one since those days), but I’m pretty sure this song was on one of the ones I sent you. And yes, I’m spelling out “To You” rather than usingContinue reading “Nothing Compares To You”