Dearest Rachel – It seems that so many of these letters are written to you in the wee hours of the morning, and they’re almost always about the never-ending struggle to get Chompers to bed. Well, for what it’s worth, it’s not intentional. It just so happens that in that hour or more that IContinue reading “The Wee Hour Sleeping Pill”
Tag Archives: daily life
What Size His Domain?
Dearest Rachel – For all the time he spends asleep, it’s amazing how hard Chompers resists being put to bed at night time. there are times when it’s an absolutely titanic struggle to get him to find a place where he’s comfortable enough to curl up and go to sleep. Considering how he has veryContinue reading “What Size His Domain?”
No Ticket to Oz
Dearest Rachel – It was storming terribly last night, dear. Our home security system by the front door was beeping like a combination alarm clock and a forklift stuck in reverse, and no amount of money going forward and typing in the password which shut it up for more than five minutes, before it wouldContinue reading “No Ticket to Oz”
Twenty-Eight
Dearest Rachel – Twenty-eight years ago today, I came home from work to find you standing in the bathtub, leaking. I think you had expected your water to break with a single large gush, and that wasn’t happening. But regardless, we had to get you over the hospital right away. You insisted on walking –Continue reading “Twenty-Eight”
Unaccustomed As I Am
Dearest Rachel – I’ve mentioned this before, but it is different to give these letters titles. I mean, if I were writing to you directly, a title wouldn’t make it any more eye-catching: you would read it because it came from me. No, the titles are meant to grab the eyes of those you’ve comeContinue reading “Unaccustomed As I Am”
Road Wood
Dearest Rachel – There’s a lot of things in which, after twenty-eight years and more, you trained me rather well. There’s the stereotypical issue of the toilet seat, for instance (which, honestly, I’m sort of the only one fighting the man’s side of the battle, as Daniel generally doesn’t even bother to stand up). IContinue reading “Road Wood”
The Unpredictable Squeak
Dearest Rachel – Another day, another weird Chompers experience. This isn’t the first time even this week that he’s barked to go out at 5:30 in the morning, but this one was different insofar as it was raining. So, not a pleasant experience for either of us. Nor, as far as I can tell, aContinue reading “The Unpredictable Squeak”
The Brokenness of Morning
Dearest Rachel – Morning has broken like the first morningBlackbird has spoken like the first bird Eleanor Farjeon, “Morning Has Broken,” 1931 You and I are both familiar with the concept of the mondegreen, that weird phenomenon where you hear music lyrics – or more to the point, mishear them. Perhaps the most famous exampleContinue reading “The Brokenness of Morning”
Well, This Sucks (After All)
Dearest Rachel – One of the channels that we would watch on YouTube fairly faithfully on any given weekend was this one Reddit read-and-react segment done by a particularly famous gamer. Over the course of a month or two, he would go through a number of different subreddits, take a look at the photos onContinue reading “Well, This Sucks (After All)”
A Bit Player In My Own Story
Dearest Rachel – For the better part of the last century, at least, it’s been easy to think of our lives as a movie, with ourselves at the center of the story. I suppose it might have been thought this way prior to the popularization of the cinema, with the story being literature instead –Continue reading “A Bit Player In My Own Story”
Just Standing Around
Dearest Rachel – The other night, when I sent Chompers down outside to do his last bit of business before attempting to put him to bed, he would not stop walking. Before I knew it, he had practically wandered over in front of the Matije’s house next door (and I know I just spelled Mrs.Continue reading “Just Standing Around”
Nothing Too Out of the Ordinary
Dearest Rachel – So what can I tell you about a day like today? The thing is, some days are… not all that remarkable. They may be eventful, but there’s not much to really say about them. And this has been one of those days. The morning started out with nothing all that out ofContinue reading “Nothing Too Out of the Ordinary”
The Very Opposite of a Gift
Dearest Rachel – I suppose it’s my own fault for letting Chompers sleep so much during the day. But you know the old saying about sleeping dogs: I don’t want to disturb him. Particularly since Logan’s been over since we got back from Kevin’s place. I figured that Daniel and he can keep an eyeContinue reading “The Very Opposite of a Gift”
Things We’ve Seen Before – and Things You’ll Never See
Dearest Rachel – It’s Thursday morning. Our last full day here in Tennessee. And I must admit, I’ve been a little lax. Haven’t done any walking to speak of this whole week. I’d like to excuse myself, because of the lack of reason. No destination, and no companion – human or canine – leads toContinue reading “Things We’ve Seen Before – and Things You’ll Never See”
Three People, Four Screens
Dearest Rachel – As much as things will forever be different going forward, there are times when I realize that in some ways, things really haven’t changed at all. For one thing, I realize that the three of us – Kevin, Daniel and I – are not really all that far removed from the wayContinue reading “Three People, Four Screens”
Lost Without You
Dearest Rachel – I know Daniel and I used to kid you about this all the time: we would be just about to drive away from out the house, and you would suddenly perk up: “Oh, just one more thing,” and run right back into the house, to collect something you had just forgotten about.Continue reading “Lost Without You”
Road Trip
Dearest Rachel – Well, it’s that time of year again. Memorial Day, and we would be heading down to Tennessee to visit Kevin, and just hang out at his place, watching television and YouTube, playing video games, and just enjoying each others’ company. And we’re still doing that this year. It’s just that there’s aContinue reading “Road Trip”
Thy Kingdom Come
Dearest Rachel – I know the thoughts that I have in the shower will never be registered in r/showerthoughts. They’re just neither original nor bizarre enough to qualify, and I guess I’m okay with that. Which is of course, not to say that I don’t have thoughts in the shower. I mean, don’t we all?Continue reading “Thy Kingdom Come”
The Wheelchair
Dearest Rachel – Well, the shipment arrived today: Chompers now has himself a wheelchair. Unfortunately, the old boy seems to know when I do and when I don’t have the camera with me or trained on him, and doesn’t do nearly as much when I do as when I don’t. The good news is, asContinue reading “The Wheelchair”
Never All At Once
Dearest Rachel – As frustrating as dealing with Chompers can be, one of the most difficult has been the fact that he never seems to be satisfied with what he has or where he is. As a result, there are times when all the boxes are ticked – he’s been fed (although that only happensContinue reading “Never All At Once”
Cleaned Out
Dearest Rachel – Here’s something you probably didn’t ever get to see once we moved into this house some twenty-five years ago: That’s it. That’s the corner of the laundry room where all the dirty clothes would be piled up awaiting processing. We (and by ‘we,’ I admit it almost always meant ‘you,’ with theContinue reading “Cleaned Out”
Longer Than Intended, But Never Long Enough
Dearest Rachel – It’s a good thing that, back when ours was a long-distance relationship only in terms of physical distance, I didn’t use titles for each letter. Well… that’s not entirely accurate, as the mix tapes that accompanied most of our letters (from each of us) did have titles we’d given them, but itContinue reading “Longer Than Intended, But Never Long Enough”
The Alpha
Dearest Rachel – I suppose in a way, it’s my own darn fault. Last night, after the annual church meeting/celebration, Chompers would not stop whining. So, I took him out to pee again. And he did a little bit, proving that he’d needed to be taken outside, before just standing there for several moments andContinue reading “The Alpha”
In Lieu Of…
Dearest Rachel – I’m really not entirely sure if this is the week that Anime Central was supposed to happen. However, since the annual celebration for the church is happening today, I’m going to assume it was. After all, the church had a knack for holding the annual celebration on the same weekend as ourContinue reading “In Lieu Of…”
Defiance and Discipline
Dearest Rachel – You know that I never liked being the disciplinarian in the family. I would get frustrated when Daniel wouldn’t – for whatever reason – comply with our requests (I got particularly upset about homework, as I had always wanted to get it out of the way when I was a student, andContinue reading “Defiance and Discipline”
Keeping Upright
Dearest Rachel – Sometimes, I find myself wondering how far Chompers has declined since your passing, or if you were just that uncomplaining about dealing with him – apart from the fact that no amount of massaging your lower back (which I know, you were always thoroughly grateful for) had any lasting effect. Keeping upContinue reading “Keeping Upright”
May Day Mystery
Dearest Rachel – Sometimes, little things appear, and you chalk it up to coincidence. I know it wasn’t really you who left that balloon on the yard for me to find on my birthday, but there wasn’t anything to suggest that it was left there purposely by anyone – and the most likely suspects categoricallyContinue reading “May Day Mystery”
Rainy Days and Thursdays
Dearest Rachel – I don’t usually write about the weather – compared to all the other things going on in life, it’s a fairly insignificant part of it. Well, maybe insignificant isn’t the right word for it – it’s just there. Some days it’s cold, some days it’s bright and sunny… …and some days it’sContinue reading “Rainy Days and Thursdays”
Errands
Dearest Rachel – The woods are lovely, dark and deep,But I have promises to keep,And miles to go before I sleep,And miles to go before I sleep. Robert Frost, Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening And I’m not even thinking about the training for the Marathon (or, barring actually committing to it, the continuedContinue reading “Errands”
Failed Resolve
Dearest Rachel – One of these days, there will be a morning without hiccups. This was not one of those days. I know that, if one intends to run, one should do so early in the morning. That’s hard to balance against a dog that doesn’t fall asleep for several hours after being out forContinue reading “Failed Resolve”
Is This What Normal Looks Like Now?
Dearest Rachel – Saturday mornings, like everything else, are never going to be the same as they were. That sounds like i’m stating the obvious, but Saturday is when it’s all that much more keenly felt. Even after retiring, I would spend weekdays at the ‘office’ at my folks’ place, so there were plenty ofContinue reading “Is This What Normal Looks Like Now?”
Things I Never Dreamed I’d Do
Dearest Rachel – I’m gonna nudge the fourth wall yet again tonight, as I wait for Chompers to fall asleep, I’m going to mention the fact that any time I talk about the old boy, I seem to get a lot more people actually reading my post. I don’t know why; this whole series ofContinue reading “Things I Never Dreamed I’d Do”
Keeping Up With the DMV
Dearest Rachel – I don’t think you told me about what needed to be done about your car when we left for Camp Awana, and you went on to meet your fate. But then, it wasn’t something that would have needed to be dealt with for several months, and you fully expected to be aroundContinue reading “Keeping Up With the DMV”
Burninatin’
Dearest Rachel – Today’s letter was supposed to be about heading up to Camp Awana for a budget meeting, and my concerns about seeing the place for the first time since the accident. However, one of the guys I was to ride up there with got sick (again, probably just a cold rather than Covid,Continue reading “Burninatin’”
Inside Jokes
Dearest Rachel – Well, that’s one major headache taken care of. I’ve gotten our tax returns back from our preparers, written out the appropriate amounts we owe – both for last year and for this year’s first installment – and will take them to the post office tomorrow and mail them out certified (just asContinue reading “Inside Jokes”
A Full Dog Year
Dearest Rachel – It would seem that another milestone has just slipped past me without notice. Granted, it’s probably because I didn’t think to make the calculation earlier, but I just realized that a week ago, Chompers has survived for seventy-three days since the accident. Based on the generally accepted rule that (apart from theContinue reading “A Full Dog Year”
Yes I Will
Yes I will, lift You high in the lowest valleyYes I will, bless Your nameOh, yes I will, sing for joy when my heart is heavyAll my days, oh yes I will “Yes I Will” by Vertical Worship Dearest Rachel – You and Daniel used to sing this song with such enthusiasm in church. HeContinue reading “Yes I Will”
Halfway Through the Woods
Dearest Rachel – Sometimes people leave youHalfway through the wood.Others may deceive you.You decide what’s good.You decide alone.But no one is alone. “No One Is Alone” from Into The Woods The song sprang to my head early this morning, as I tried to figure out what Chompers wanted at what even I would consider toContinue reading “Halfway Through the Woods”
At the End of the Day
Dearest Rachel – I’ve never been much for making friends, especially once we got married. After all, I thought, I had you, my best friend in the whole world. What more could I possibly need or want? Now, you had your friends, both old ones that came up to the area at around the sameContinue reading “At the End of the Day”
The Joy of Introductions
Dearest Rachel – At the risk of leaning hard against the fourth wall, I’m fully aware that you will never read a word of these letters; they are, rather, a way for me to memorialize you before the potential world that is the internet. Would that everyone had met you while you still walked theContinue reading “The Joy of Introductions”
I Understand the Cherry Tree
Dearest Rachel – Well, it’s another sign of spring these days, when the plant life starts to show off their blossoms and colors for the new season. It’s kind of ironic, that. While you looked forward to the idea of gardening once we bought ourselves a house (with your parents’ assistance: I remember well howContinue reading “I Understand the Cherry Tree”
All the Responsibility, None of the Joy
Dearest Rachel – You’ve probably noticed by now the fact that the tags “dog” and “complaint” appear to go hand in hand on my letters to you. I know how much you wanted me to appreciate your love of dogs, but you just couldn’t manage; the best you ever managed to get from me wasContinue reading “All the Responsibility, None of the Joy”
What, Me Worry? What, Me Weep?
Dearest Rachel – The weird thing about this pandemic epoch we’ve been stuck in is that I actually manage to have my own personal trademark “look,” just like you did by wearing all purple. And it took less than a year to do it. Of course, part of that is because I’m always wearing theContinue reading “What, Me Worry? What, Me Weep?”
Happy. ________. Birthday.
Dearest Rachel – You of all people know I never liked birthdays as an adult. When you’re a kid, the day revolves around you. The day is supposed to go perfectly, and you’re supposed to get everything you want for your birthday. All your friends show up, and together you celebrate with them the takingContinue reading “Happy. ________. Birthday.”
The Last Visit
Dearest Rachel – Well, it’s over. Chompers survived through his final hydrotherapy session. For once (after several weeks of Erin’s urgings), I even remembered to bring treats for him, to reward him for getting there, for letting the girls push him around in the pool, and for enduring the indignities of being dried off afterwards,Continue reading “The Last Visit”
Worth a Try
Dearest Rachel – Well, bang goes that approach. Still, I had to try. I said I was going to just yesterday, and that I would report back. So, here’s my report: Chompers doesn’t like being in the bathroom with me any more than he likes me being in there showering by myself. You might thinkContinue reading “Worth a Try”
Faded Glow
Dearest Rachel – Some nights, getting Chompers to bed isn’t so difficult. Give him his pill, take him out, he pees, bring him in, set him down, give him his bedtime treats, and let him position himself (I am starting to learn that, regardless of what he’s truly capable of, he’d prefer to at leastContinue reading “Faded Glow”
Bathing vs Barking
Dearest Rachel – No, I’m not about to talk about bathing Chompers. I honestly don’t have a clue how to go about that, and if anything, I should probably set up an appointment with the groomers to deal with that at some point in the near future. After all, he needs his nails trimmed andContinue reading “Bathing vs Barking”
No Room for an Empty Chair
Dearest Rachel – Once again, it was a near run thing. After dealing with this cold for the better (worse?) part of yesterday – and having the folks come over to deliver the food they were going to serve Daniel and me, as we were supposed to come over last night for dinner – IContinue reading “No Room for an Empty Chair”
Is This A Feature?
Dearest Rachel – You might recall a cartoon by the man I would refer to as “Uncle Gary” (since we shared the same last name, right down to the spelling with an “o” rather than an “e”): So, just a few minutes ago, at about one in the morning, I rolled out of my sickbedContinue reading “Is This A Feature?”
Paranoia Over the Perfectly Normal
Dearest Rachel – So last night, I could feel the beginnings of a raw throat as I prepared for bed. And sure enough, this morning I woke up with a cough, sneezing and a runny nose. In a normal year, we would know that this would be the beginning of a garden variety 24-48 hourContinue reading “Paranoia Over the Perfectly Normal”
Ceding Territory
Dearest Rachel – Given the limited amount of human contact he engages in these days, I know full well I have no right to object to the days when his friend Logan comes over. The thing is, Logan himself has said – even since the accident – how “welcoming” our home is, and I certainlyContinue reading “Ceding Territory”
So Many Spinning Plates
Dearest Rachel – Home used to be a haven for me. I could come home after a hard day, even after spending a hour or two (or three) in a conference room being told by my boss that I was a worthless piece of, well, you know; that I was a huge disappointment to him,Continue reading “So Many Spinning Plates”
My Darling Raven
Dearest Rachel – I will never stop saying it, because it will never not be true: it’s the little things that you miss the most, now that you’re gone. This morning, I’m working in the booth at church. Not for the first time since you left, but every time has its little differences. This time,Continue reading “My Darling Raven”
Vernal Equinox
Dearest Rachel – Well, it’s not quite been two months, but we’ve reached something of a milestone. Spring is upon us – at least, according to the split of daytime to nighttime. I’ve been hearing about something called “Chicagohenge” wherein the rising and setting sun throw light westward and eastward respectively for blocks. I’d neverContinue reading “Vernal Equinox”
Chasing the Sandman
Dearest Rachel – Does it still count as sleep if, while your body lies there, recumbent in bed, your mind is spinning like tires stuck in the snow? Because I don’t know the answer; all I know is that I don’t want to get up yet. The girls came over last night, just to hangContinue reading “Chasing the Sandman”
Charity Begins at the Triangle
Dearest Rachel – I will always remember your generous spirit, both in terms of your time and effort, and in terms of just giving to people. When a matter would arise that we agreed we should contribute to, I would always talk to you about how much we should give. For the most part, theContinue reading “Charity Begins at the Triangle”
So Many Little Things
Dearest Rachel – You know I began this site as a form of therapy – a way to reach out to you despite knowing full well that you would see neither a word nor a pixel of it. It made a sort of bookending sense – we started our courtship by writing letters to eachContinue reading “So Many Little Things”
from Rachel: Morning Prayer
Dearest Rachel – While going through the stuff in the laundry room outside our bedroom, I found this post-it note attached to the corner of the mirror. It was a bit out of my line of site, but you must have had it there by the sink to remind you to offer this prayer asContinue reading “from Rachel: Morning Prayer”
Nanette’s Rule
Dearest Rachel – Last night was not one of Chompers’ better nights. You would think that, after having the girls visit during the afternoon, and being exercised outside for quite some time because of it – to say nothing of having stayed up until 11:30 for his late-night pain pill rather than the usual 10:30,Continue reading “Nanette’s Rule”
…pation
Dearest Rachel – Well, it’s over and done. Hopefully, I’ll not have to do that again for another ten years or so (although they did find one polyp in there, but the doctor acted as if this is a fairly regular occurrence, so I’m not going to worry about it until Monday, if even then).Continue reading “…pation”
Antici…
“Say it! Say it!” “Nope. Not gonna do it.” “…it’s for the kids.” “…ohhh, all right. But they better not laugh!” “Oh-okay. Here we go, then!” Dearest Rachel – Jan and I were busy pulling out cans and bottles from the cabinet in the utility room when the phone rang. Haven’t used the phone inContinue reading “Antici…”
The Costs of Care
Dearest Rachel – Have I mentioned recently how mornings can be the worst? It wasn’t even the usual things, either. Chompers actually let me shower this morning before waking up and barking for… whatever. Once I got myself dried and dressed, I got him basically everything at once: hauled him outside and delivered him hisContinue reading “The Costs of Care”
Preservation
Dearest Rachel – Today was my third trip to Goodwill in the last seven days. All part of the deep cleaning process Jan has been putting me through. I mean, when were we going to get around to using these things, especially when we couldn’t even get to them? But we’ve made so much progress,Continue reading “Preservation”
Fortunes Lost and Found
Dearest Rachel – Mornings are the worst these days. In the stillness, as I pick my way through the house, I never know what I’ll find that will set me off. Oh, but first, you ought to know that Chompers did really well last night. Got to bed around 11, and didn’t wake up untilContinue reading “Fortunes Lost and Found”
Gar(b)age Day
Dearest Rachel – I’m afraid this has been another one of those days in which you would not approve of what I’ve been doing. But honey, it had to be done. Jan was over again, along with her husband Scott. She promised not to charge double for the extra manpower – and indeed, Scott textedContinue reading “Gar(b)age Day”
No Longer Much for Mornings
Dearest Rachel – You remember well that I was, for all intents and purposes, a morning person. Not so much out of choice as necessity; when you have to be at work at a certain time, staying up until 3 in the morning like you and Daniel used to do was just out of theContinue reading “No Longer Much for Mornings”
Kevin and the Prize
Dearest Rachel – I haven’t written to you about Sparks since you left, and I suppose I ought to fill you in. Although, we’ve only met the one other time before tonight, so there hasn’t been much to fill you in about. In fact, the first Monday after the accident had been canceled – notContinue reading “Kevin and the Prize”
The Slightest Trace of Normal
Dearest Rachel – You know, of course, that there is no such thing as ‘normal’ anymore, if there really ever was. ‘Normal,’ to us, are the days of the three of us, going about our ways, serene in the unfounded knowledge that life was good and every day would be pleasant together, much like theContinue reading “The Slightest Trace of Normal”
The Cruelty of the Cold
Dearest Rachel – It seems ever since you left, the days have conspired to outdo each other in cold brutality. Even the day of the accident was forecast to be the coldest of the season to date: we were all bundled in jackets and parkas more heavily than we had been in years. Not thatContinue reading “The Cruelty of the Cold”
Letters to Rachel 