Lost Without You

Dearest Rachel –

I know Daniel and I used to kid you about this all the time: we would be just about to drive away from out the house, and you would suddenly perk up: “Oh, just one more thing,” and run right back into the house, to collect something you had just forgotten about.

Well, it turns out that Daniel isn’t that far removed from you after all. Just as we are about to head out to Tennessee, he’s wandering around the house, asking me “Dad, where is my tablet? You know, the one in the Royal Caribbean bag?” And I have no idea.

This isn’t the first time this has happened, either. I know there’s been times when we’re just about to head off to church, and he realizes he’s left behind his water bottle, or his neck wallet, or some other thing that he suddenly desperately needs. I understand wanting to have certain things, especially when we’re going on a long trip. But I do wish that he’d remember to look for these things and have them ready for himself before we’re about to start up the car and pull out of the driveway. Especially when it turns out we have no idea where they are.

The funny part is, as I’m looking about the house for him, I set down my phone. And in no time flat, I couldn’t remember where I set it down. After a moment of panic, I saw the cord picking off of a countertop, and found the phone attached to it. Unfortunately, it doesn’t help with the current search, but it does illustrate how fast I can lose things.

I have often said that we would be lost without you honey. This time it’s a little more literal than most.

You had a talent for finding these things when no one else could. Maybe you just knew where everything was, since you had created all these piles. It really was a system to you, and you could find anything in those systems. And even when you couldn’t, and I would be in one part of the house panicking, while you would just be standing there praying… and, more often than not, you would be able to find what you or Daniel or I were looking for.

Unfortunately, this particular story doesn’t seem like it’s going to have a happy ending, at least, not today. We need to head out soon, and this cloth bag – not plastic, not leather, but cloth – containing not only his tablet, but his styluses and other accessories, just isn’t anywhere we can think to look. And we don’t have time to turn the house upside down, even though there isn’t nearly as much stuff to turn upside down.

Come to think of it, we never did find the mouse that was connected to the living room computer, either. And that’s been a month now.

So… Yeah, we really are lost without you.

Published by randy@letters-to-rachel.memorial

I am Rachel's husband. Was. I'm still trying to deal with it. I probably always will be.

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