Sleeping In Denim

Dearest Rachel –

It seems there are a few memes out there about people who sleep dressed, specifically while wearing jeans… - Memes - Satan himself Psychopaths People who ...
Evidently, we’re pretty scary…?

Not sure I understand what the fuss is all about. Between showering after walking home, and therefore changing afterwards (look, it’s August in Chicago – why should I stay in those sweaty clothes any longer once I get home, anyway?), and the growing concern that I might need to get up at any moment during the night to tend to Chompers, it’s practically a necessity to sleep in my clothes these days.

It’s not as if I’m the only one in the house who does it, either. And no, I’m not referring to the old boy, although admittedly, he does sleep in the same thing he wears throughout the the day, but that’s nothing. Literally… it’s nothing. No, Daniel has always slept in his clothes, ever since deciding he preferred sleeping downstairs on the couch to upstairs in his bedroom. So that would be, what…? Ten, fifteen years? The crazy thing to me is how, when he complains that he hates summer for how hot it is (and it is, don’t get me wrong), and how there’s only so far one can strip down in order to get comfortable (which is also quite true, I get it), and I point out that he’s wearing a hoodie over his shirt, and cargo parts over sweatpants, he refuses to take one of those layers off: “No, I’m okay.”

Dude, if you’re uncomfortable and can do something about it, either do it or stop complaining about it.

I get a lot of that from Chompers, too. I can give him his food and water, take him out so he can get everything out of his system, and once I put him down and go about my other business, he starts whining. And he can do this from his lying-down position! Again, I can understand not liking where you’ve been placed, especially if your legs are folded underneath you (I hate it when my legs or feet go to sleep like that – as some comedian pointed out, that means they’ll be up all night), but please… at least try to make a good faith effort to adjust yourself. Not to mention, I’m more than willing to move you to a better position, but I really can’t help you if your not satisfied with any other position.

The old boy can drive me nuts like that sometimes. I don’t know how you dealt with that. Although, I guess he’s declined considerably since the last time you saw him; maybe he wasn’t that much trouble at that point.

Anyway, back to denim. For all this talk about sleeping in clothes, I am the first – and only – one in the family to sleep in jeans. Mostly because I’m the only one who ever wears them. And not only wears them, but wears them almost exclusively. I got rid of dress shirts and slacks as soon as I possibly could; they’re vestiges of the working world, and I want nothing to do with that anymore.

But for some reason, you never felt comfortable in jeans. Or in denim at all, for that matter. You may have owned one pair of jeans, and that was only because they were purple. I think you told me that they just didn’t feel comfortable, which I… cannot relate to. You did have a fairly long denim skirt that you would occasionally wear specifically for patriotic holidays, like the Fourth of July or Memorial Day, since you had a red and white striped blouse that would complement it accordingly. Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to find a photograph of you in that ensemble; it was a fairly cute get-up.

I’m guessing you managed to transfer some of your denim antipathy to Daniel, as he generally tends towards cargo pants and sweatpants – usually at the same time, even in this weather. But I’ve already mentioned that, haven’t I? Sorry, it still mystifies me.

Most of the time you went around in shorts or capris, and what pants you had just weren’t denim. Maybe we guys don’t have that kind of selection – certainly, wearing something other than blue, black or brown isn’t a sartorial option for us, unless we’re golfers or clowns (but I repeat myself) – but I couldn’t imagine wearing any of the sorts of things you did. I guess that sort of opinion runs both ways.

Anyway, that’s pretty much the story, and at about this time I’ve got to get up and tend to Chompers. Good thing I’m already dressed.

Talk to you later, honey. Love you.

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I am Rachel's husband. Was. I'm still trying to deal with it. I probably always will be.

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