Dearest Rachel – Now, I suppose I could just rabbit on about the work Jan and I did on your side of the bedroom yesterday… …but it’s that time of year again… except, of course, that it’s not, really. As mentioned in a previous letter, AnimeCentral was cancelled months ago. Which is a bit ofContinue reading “Midnight Madness”
Author Archives: randy@letters-to-rachel.memorial
First Impressions
Dearest Rachel – As I said the other day when I found the cache of photos you took our your class trip to Greece back in the day, what happened when you returned to the States – and stayed with us for the better part of a week – was a story in and ofContinue reading “First Impressions”
Once More, With Feeling
Dearest Rachel – “This had better be some roller coaster.” Yeah, the line was that much longer today than the first time. I’m not sure why. To be honest, I thought I’d heard that doses were starting to go begging at this point. Although, to be fair, it has been quite the roller coaster, thisContinue reading “Once More, With Feeling”
Stories I’ll Never Know / Ιστορίες Που Δεν Θα Μάθω Ποτέ
Dearest Rachel – Jan and I are continuing to make progress on cleaning the house, although the going is considerably slower than before. It’s one thing to bundle up your clothes for donation, knowing no one in this household will ever wear them again. It’s another to determine which of my clothes need to go,Continue reading “Stories I’ll Never Know / Ιστορίες Που Δεν Θα Μάθω Ποτέ”
In Praise of 20/200 Vision
What kind of friends do friends becomeWhen a blind eye turns on the damage done?What kind of friend could I become?What kind of friend am I? Mark Heard, “What Kind of Friend,” from Second Hand (1992) Dearest Rachel – There’s a story about the great Admiral Nelson, who, during the Battle of Copenhagen in 1801,Continue reading “In Praise of 20/200 Vision”
The Hostess
Dearest Rachel – So… Sunday night, I received a text from Doc Pearson. It was actually kind of strange, because he would usually call me in the days leading up to Anime Central, rather than texting. Of course, the times are strange already, what with there not being any Anime Central this year – again.Continue reading “The Hostess”
The Alpha
Dearest Rachel – I suppose in a way, it’s my own darn fault. Last night, after the annual church meeting/celebration, Chompers would not stop whining. So, I took him out to pee again. And he did a little bit, proving that he’d needed to be taken outside, before just standing there for several moments andContinue reading “The Alpha”
Parting Words
Dearest Rachel – I was leaving the ‘office’ the other day. Mom was out for physical therapy, I believe. So the house was quiet, and I slipped out the door, only to find myself realizing that I forgot something: I forgot to say goodbye to Dad before heading out. So I immediately ducked back inContinue reading “Parting Words”
In Lieu Of…
Dearest Rachel – I’m really not entirely sure if this is the week that Anime Central was supposed to happen. However, since the annual celebration for the church is happening today, I’m going to assume it was. After all, the church had a knack for holding the annual celebration on the same weekend as ourContinue reading “In Lieu Of…”
from Rachel: Sermon Notes
“Some of us live like we have no control over our time and our schedules.” Psalm 90 – “Written by Moses – prince – shepherd – spokesperson/prophet – leader of people” Our time is “limited”, therefore we need to “limit” what we do with our time “‘From everlasting to everlasting, You are God’ (90:26)” “‘TeachContinue reading “from Rachel: Sermon Notes”
Without the Guest of Honor
Dearest Rachel – So. After planning off and on for the better part of a week, we’re actually holding your birthday party. Just… without you. No singing “Happy Birthday,” either. Not only aren’t you here to hear it, but that song sets Daniel off, as you well know. His synesthesia causes him to have perfectContinue reading “Without the Guest of Honor”
from Rachel: Soul Memoirs
(Note: Honey, this post is taken verbatim from a file found on one of your computers the other day. The file itself dates from October 2011, as you were intent on putting together an explanation of your faith journey in order to reach out to your parents, whose spiritual position you were beginning to haveContinue reading “from Rachel: Soul Memoirs”
The Brief Revisitation
Dearest Rachel – So, before last night’s online Bible study with Pastor Joel, I went through the usual routine of feeding Chompers and taking him outside to deal with the usual business. While out there, I bent down at some point to keep him from walking through the puddles he’d just made – and asContinue reading “The Brief Revisitation”
What You Considered Important
Dearest Rachel – I hope you don’t mind too much, but I’ve jailbroken four of the computers you left behind. There was a span of time when I couldn’t get into any of them unless I was listed as a secondary user, and could log in with my own Microsoft password. And the alleged RosettaContinue reading “What You Considered Important”
The Weight of Soup Stones
Dearest Rachel – In the ad copy for The Most Interesting Man in the World, it was said that “his words carry weight that would break a lesser man’s jaw.” Personally, I always thought that that would be something to aspire to – to be able to speak such weighty words that people would hangContinue reading “The Weight of Soup Stones”
Defiance and Discipline
Dearest Rachel – You know that I never liked being the disciplinarian in the family. I would get frustrated when Daniel wouldn’t – for whatever reason – comply with our requests (I got particularly upset about homework, as I had always wanted to get it out of the way when I was a student, andContinue reading “Defiance and Discipline”
Diamonds and Ash
Dearest Rachel – I would say “I wish you had been there” for this year’s Mother’s Day sermon, but when I am always wishing you were here as it is, it really doesn’t carry the weight that I mean for it to. The thing is, as a general rule, we don’t really have a sermonContinue reading “Diamonds and Ash”
from Rachel: Ministering to Other Mothers
Think of a time when God hinted that He desired to use you in His kingdom purposes. Describe what He laid on your heart. “I can think of several. Every ministry I’ve been involved in has a moment like that. Generally I say ‘Yes!’, occasionally ‘No!’ “One slightly different one that comes to mind wasContinue reading “from Rachel: Ministering to Other Mothers”
Aunt Ellie
Dearest Rachel – So I got myself home early the other afternoon to find a letter to ‘Jo Brunner’ in the mail. These days, I don’t generally bother with any mail addressed to either of your parents; rather than bothering with them, I just toss them in the recycling bin straightaway. I mean, if it’sContinue reading “Aunt Ellie”
Balancing Axioms
Dearest Rachel – For all of the places we’ve gone, and the things that we’ve done, we were always limited in what we could and could not do. Indeed, it’s considered axiomatic that we humans, as we go through life, always find ourselves limited against what we truly want to do: When we are children,Continue reading “Balancing Axioms”
Running Out of Footage
Dearest Rachel – Well, I knew it had to happen someday. After all, we only had the camcorder with us for a limited amount of time before it disappeared somewhere amongst the piles – to say nothing of the fact that digital mini-tapes turned out not to be the wave of the future as farContinue reading “Running Out of Footage”
No One to Reminisce With
Dear Rachel – I don’t know if you’re aware of it – I realize that there are a lot of people to meet and greet up there in heaven, and a hundred days is probably not enough to even familiarize yourself with the smallest portion of your new-found eternal family members – but my AuntContinue reading “No One to Reminisce With”
Bucket List
Dearest Rachel – I remember you telling me, in that last week before the accident, of a time not too far back when you were talking to a friend. It might have been Chompers’ Mommy Kim; I don’t recall who it was. She had mentioned to you that there were two specific places that sheContinue reading “Bucket List”
Bill, Melinda, and What Constitutes ‘Enough’
Dearest Rachel – Normally, I wouldn’t comment on current events in these letters. What happens in the wider world was of little concern to us even when we both were here; how much less so, now that the world itself is no longer a concern of yours. But I had to pause when I sawContinue reading “Bill, Melinda, and What Constitutes ‘Enough’”
If There Be Aloneness
Dearest Rachel – If there be alonenessLet it befor the pleasure of one’s own company for the striving to understand oneself for the joy of relaxation but most of allLet it beby choice. Mya Anderson (PHS Class of 1988) Roundtable 1986 I have carried this little slice of wisdom, penned by a classmate your ageContinue reading “If There Be Aloneness”
Keeping Upright
Dearest Rachel – Sometimes, I find myself wondering how far Chompers has declined since your passing, or if you were just that uncomplaining about dealing with him – apart from the fact that no amount of massaging your lower back (which I know, you were always thoroughly grateful for) had any lasting effect. Keeping upContinue reading “Keeping Upright”
from Rachel: The Importance of Loving Parents
Would you describe yourself as having been filled with the knowledge of God’s love for you? Why or why not? “Yes, I’m sure largely this is easier for me than for some because I grew up with parents who were so grateful to have me and so proud of me and so open about howContinue reading “from Rachel: The Importance of Loving Parents”
May Day Mystery
Dearest Rachel – Sometimes, little things appear, and you chalk it up to coincidence. I know it wasn’t really you who left that balloon on the yard for me to find on my birthday, but there wasn’t anything to suggest that it was left there purposely by anyone – and the most likely suspects categoricallyContinue reading “May Day Mystery”
The Legend of Bryan Hamilton
Dearest Rachel – You already know the bulk of this story, but Jan and I have just written what basically amounts to the final chapter of this story, and I figure I might as well fill you in on it while I tell the full story to anyone else who might be interested. The tooContinue reading “The Legend of Bryan Hamilton”
Jan Would Like A Word
Dearest Rachel – I think I may have mentioned it to you previously, but today’s work on the laundry room – and your closet – have reminded me to remind you that you may need to prepare yourself for when Jan gets up to see you someday. It seems she would like to talk toContinue reading “Jan Would Like A Word”
Rainy Days and Thursdays
Dearest Rachel – I don’t usually write about the weather – compared to all the other things going on in life, it’s a fairly insignificant part of it. Well, maybe insignificant isn’t the right word for it – it’s just there. Some days it’s cold, some days it’s bright and sunny… …and some days it’sContinue reading “Rainy Days and Thursdays”
The Return
Dearest Rachel – So, this morning, I’ll be heading up to Camp Awana to discuss the budget. Scott, Brian and I have been planning to do this for the last two weeks: each time, there’s been a health issue that’s gotten in the way. Given the tenor of the times, I probably don’t have toContinue reading “The Return”
Errands
Dearest Rachel – The woods are lovely, dark and deep,But I have promises to keep,And miles to go before I sleep,And miles to go before I sleep. Robert Frost, Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening And I’m not even thinking about the training for the Marathon (or, barring actually committing to it, the continuedContinue reading “Errands”
The Golden Rule, Inverted
Dearest Rachel – “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” It’s one of the core tenets of most every major religion, at least in terms of dealing with other people (obviously, not necessarily a basis of salvation, since nobody reaches perfection in this life – and even if they were toContinue reading “The Golden Rule, Inverted”
from Rachel: A Meditation on Psalm 77
I will remember my song in the night;I will meditate with my heart,And my spirit ponders: I will remember the deeds of the Lord;I will certainly remember Your wonders of old.I will meditate on all Your work,And on Your deeds with thanksgiving. Psalm 77:6,11,12, New American Standard Bible (NASB) (v.6 “I will remember my song in the night”) What song will you rememberContinue reading “from Rachel: A Meditation on Psalm 77”
A Question of Motivation
Dearest Rachel – You’ll probably remember, shortly after first setting up the office in the folks’ basement, I started to wonder why it was I was trying to get onto YouTube as an animator… especially when, as I came to discover, I had next to no talent in either art or animation. Did I evenContinue reading “A Question of Motivation”
Day of Flight
Dearest Rachel – So. It’s been three months, now. Three months since you took your Day of Flight. In that span of time, the snow has melted, the trees and daffodils have flowered and shed their petals, and the grass has grown. Entire rooms of carpeting have been exposed, as the piles of… stuff leftContinue reading “Day of Flight”
Left Behind Along the Way
Dearest Rachel – So, last night was the weekly online Bible study with Pastor Joel. And before he begins recording, he always asks a sort of ‘icebreaker’ question. I have to admit, sometimes it strikes me as a little odd, since most of us are regular attendees – both of the study and at churchContinue reading “Left Behind Along the Way”
from Rachel: Spiritual Birthday
“I did so (eleven) years before my biggest sin. I know He forgave my past, present and future sins when I asked Jesus to come into me heart April 22, 1984.” “Thank You God for loving me. Thank You for always making me feel like the apple of Your eye – special and precious. ThankContinue reading “from Rachel: Spiritual Birthday”
Empathy… Suitcase?
Dearest Rachel – The “Empathy Doll Shot” is a trope whose name might be unfamiliar, but when you see it, you know what it’s all about. That item left behind that you, the viewer, would recognize as ‘that thing is supposed to have an owner,’ followed by the realization as to why there is noContinue reading “Empathy… Suitcase?”
Dreams of Disappointment
Dearest Rachel – The other night dear, as I lay sleeping I dreamed I held you in my arms But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken So I hung my head and I cried. Johnny Cash, “You Are My Sunshine” Such an appropriate tune to wake up to, sweetheart, on this third straight AprilContinue reading “Dreams of Disappointment”
Shin Splints, Shoes, Snowfall and Subjects Set Aside
Dearest Rachel – So, it appears that whatever I was struck with yesterday when I attempted to run is referred to as ‘shin splints,’ and they’re a fairly common ailment when you don’t have the ‘right’ shoes. And while I’m not about to argue with more seasoned runners, it’s weird that I’ve never dealt withContinue reading “Shin Splints, Shoes, Snowfall and Subjects Set Aside”
On Pain, Pacemakers and Purpose
Dearest Rachel – I figured I should give you a follow-up on my previous post. Either it stopped raining while I was working on converting our convention and vacation footage, or it never really blew up into a real rain in the first place. By the time I emerged from the basement at about threeContinue reading “On Pain, Pacemakers and Purpose”
Failed Resolve
Dearest Rachel – One of these days, there will be a morning without hiccups. This was not one of those days. I know that, if one intends to run, one should do so early in the morning. That’s hard to balance against a dog that doesn’t fall asleep for several hours after being out forContinue reading “Failed Resolve”
More Than I Can Chew
Dearest Rachel – I think I may have lost my mind. You see, it’s that time of year at church, when various groups come and pitch their programs to us, asking for our support, either financially or in terms of participation. Last week, it was Compassion International, which they’re marketing as something for the wholeContinue reading “More Than I Can Chew”
from Rachel: Fact/Fate/Faith Labels
My fact label: I am a “brain surgery survivor” My fate label: I am “scarred, vision-impaired, weaker in both body and mind” My faith label: I am “healed, restored, blessed, protected, loved” My fact label bolsters my faith. “I would like to think I loved God and valued and appreciated life sufficiently for my firstContinue reading “from Rachel: Fact/Fate/Faith Labels”
Is This What Normal Looks Like Now?
Dearest Rachel – Saturday mornings, like everything else, are never going to be the same as they were. That sounds like i’m stating the obvious, but Saturday is when it’s all that much more keenly felt. Even after retiring, I would spend weekdays at the ‘office’ at my folks’ place, so there were plenty ofContinue reading “Is This What Normal Looks Like Now?”
Book Marks
Dearest Rachel – I’m going to say something to you that’s probably going to seem a little blasphemous: I wish you had defaced a few more of your books. Hear me out, honey. Sure, I’m keeping most of our collection of books as it is (although I hate to say it, but I don’t haveContinue reading “Book Marks”
Things I Never Dreamed I’d Do
Dearest Rachel – I’m gonna nudge the fourth wall yet again tonight, as I wait for Chompers to fall asleep, I’m going to mention the fact that any time I talk about the old boy, I seem to get a lot more people actually reading my post. I don’t know why; this whole series ofContinue reading “Things I Never Dreamed I’d Do”
The Ledger
Dearest Rachel – I’ve mentioned this speech before, and I’m sure I’ll mention bits of it in future, but here it is as we first encountered it, for the benefit of those following us: The reason it came to mind today was because (in preparation for Jan’s visit today) I was going through more ofContinue reading “The Ledger”
The Wife of One’s Youth
Dearest, darling Rachel – You know, I will never apologize for bragging on my folks. Over sixty years together, and they are still going strong. To this very day, my Dad never fails to refer to Mom publicly as “the wife of my youth,” with nods to both Proverbs and Malachi, among others. It’s suchContinue reading “The Wife of One’s Youth”
Keeping Up With the DMV
Dearest Rachel – I don’t think you told me about what needed to be done about your car when we left for Camp Awana, and you went on to meet your fate. But then, it wasn’t something that would have needed to be dealt with for several months, and you fully expected to be aroundContinue reading “Keeping Up With the DMV”
Burninatin’
Dearest Rachel – Today’s letter was supposed to be about heading up to Camp Awana for a budget meeting, and my concerns about seeing the place for the first time since the accident. However, one of the guys I was to ride up there with got sick (again, probably just a cold rather than Covid,Continue reading “Burninatin’”
The Temptations of Travel
Dearest Rachel – So at the risk of acknowledging the fourth wall a bit, I’ve been asked where and how I come up with topics to discuss with you every single day (and then some). And it’s a fair question, really. Much as I enjoy the little dopamine hit that tells me “Congratulations! You’re onContinue reading “The Temptations of Travel”
Inside Jokes
Dearest Rachel – Well, that’s one major headache taken care of. I’ve gotten our tax returns back from our preparers, written out the appropriate amounts we owe – both for last year and for this year’s first installment – and will take them to the post office tomorrow and mail them out certified (just asContinue reading “Inside Jokes”
A Full Dog Year
Dearest Rachel – It would seem that another milestone has just slipped past me without notice. Granted, it’s probably because I didn’t think to make the calculation earlier, but I just realized that a week ago, Chompers has survived for seventy-three days since the accident. Based on the generally accepted rule that (apart from theContinue reading “A Full Dog Year”
Yes I Will
Yes I will, lift You high in the lowest valleyYes I will, bless Your nameOh, yes I will, sing for joy when my heart is heavyAll my days, oh yes I will “Yes I Will” by Vertical Worship Dearest Rachel – You and Daniel used to sing this song with such enthusiasm in church. HeContinue reading “Yes I Will”
from Rachel: A Different Perspective
How can you add God’s truth to your truth today? “This to do list is too long. But God is able to give me maximum efficiency if I’ll let Him and be willing to let do” (let go?) “of some items.” “I beg to differ” about circumstances being too much for Him. “Perhaps [they are]Continue reading “from Rachel: A Different Perspective”
Halfway Through the Woods
Dearest Rachel – Sometimes people leave youHalfway through the wood.Others may deceive you.You decide what’s good.You decide alone.But no one is alone. “No One Is Alone” from Into The Woods The song sprang to my head early this morning, as I tried to figure out what Chompers wanted at what even I would consider toContinue reading “Halfway Through the Woods”
At the End of the Day
Dearest Rachel – I’ve never been much for making friends, especially once we got married. After all, I thought, I had you, my best friend in the whole world. What more could I possibly need or want? Now, you had your friends, both old ones that came up to the area at around the sameContinue reading “At the End of the Day”
The Joy of Introductions
Dearest Rachel – At the risk of leaning hard against the fourth wall, I’m fully aware that you will never read a word of these letters; they are, rather, a way for me to memorialize you before the potential world that is the internet. Would that everyone had met you while you still walked theContinue reading “The Joy of Introductions”
I Understand the Cherry Tree
Dearest Rachel – Well, it’s another sign of spring these days, when the plant life starts to show off their blossoms and colors for the new season. It’s kind of ironic, that. While you looked forward to the idea of gardening once we bought ourselves a house (with your parents’ assistance: I remember well howContinue reading “I Understand the Cherry Tree”
Postpone-Mints
Dearest Rachel – So I came home early today from the ‘office’ (actually, I wasn’t at the office all that long today, since I was meeting Pastor Scott for lunch. It still takes some getting used to meeting him as a peer and friend, rather than in a pastor-to-congregant basis), because Jan warned me sheContinue reading “Postpone-Mints”
Slow Poison
Dearest Rachel – There is a story about the noted French philosopher and wit François-Marie Arouet – better known by his nom de plume of Voltaire – who, among many other things, was well-known for an obsession with coffee, drinking as many as 50 cups in a single day (at a time when the stuffContinue reading “Slow Poison”
Preserved Recordings
Dearest Rachel – It’s really quite strange, some of the documentation you left behind. Now, I understand that you weren’t the kind to throw out anything, but it has surprised me as to what papers you kept closest to you, the stuff you (apparently) considered to be important. Such as voicemail messages. Occasionally, you wouldContinue reading “Preserved Recordings”
All the Responsibility, None of the Joy
Dearest Rachel – You’ve probably noticed by now the fact that the tags “dog” and “complaint” appear to go hand in hand on my letters to you. I know how much you wanted me to appreciate your love of dogs, but you just couldn’t manage; the best you ever managed to get from me wasContinue reading “All the Responsibility, None of the Joy”
Convention Season
Dearest Rachel – Well, I’ve gone and done it. I’ve booked a room at the Marriott Coralville for the AnimeIowa weekend. Without your help. All by myself. Yeah… all by myself. All… by… myself. I remember you watching the feed on Twitch last year when AnimeCentral did its virtual convention. You were sobbing as youContinue reading “Convention Season”
Ghost in the Machine
Dearest Rachel – Jan can be a real hoot sometimes (and in so doing, she manages to take the most bitter edge off of everything we’ve been finding as we go through the house). Her happy dance when she finds hidden money – and there’s been a lot of it scattered throughout the place; you’veContinue reading “Ghost in the Machine”
What, Me Worry? What, Me Weep?
Dearest Rachel – The weird thing about this pandemic epoch we’ve been stuck in is that I actually manage to have my own personal trademark “look,” just like you did by wearing all purple. And it took less than a year to do it. Of course, part of that is because I’m always wearing theContinue reading “What, Me Worry? What, Me Weep?”
Risen
Good morning, honey – “He is risen!” This would be how I would check to see if you were awake. At this point, assuming the song had done what it was intended to (and given that this is 6 o’clock in the morning that I’m playing this, that’s no guarantee. Knowing you and Daniel, youContinue reading “Risen”
The Forlorn Little Balloon
Dearest Rachel – So, the folks have invited Daniel and me over after the Saturday Easter service. Mom just mentioned having made meatloaf, and would we like to come over? I told her I needed to stop off at the house to feed Chompers and make sure he’s done whatever business he has to first,Continue reading “The Forlorn Little Balloon”
Happy. ________. Birthday.
Dearest Rachel – You of all people know I never liked birthdays as an adult. When you’re a kid, the day revolves around you. The day is supposed to go perfectly, and you’re supposed to get everything you want for your birthday. All your friends show up, and together you celebrate with them the takingContinue reading “Happy. ________. Birthday.”
The Great Reward
Dearest Rachel – So I’d been working downstairs in the office this morning, going through all manner of paperwork (you know, I thought we’d let your insurance lapse once the house was paid off – evidently not), including reconciliations of the church’s bank statements for the past month. Couldn’t stay much longer, though – withContinue reading “The Great Reward”
Where’s Allen Funt When You Need Him?
Dearest Rachel – Since starting this blog, I have for some time wanted to address how Daniel and I (well, maybe I shouldn’t claim to speak for Daniel on this, but still) have been dealing with losing you when compared to the ‘textbook’ process outlined by the late Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. You probably would remember itContinue reading “Where’s Allen Funt When You Need Him?”
The Things We Find
Dearest Rachel – Another day of cleaning the house today, honey Thought we might curve around the wall and dig out the television pedestal (and stash a pile of VHS tapes and DVDs in the process), but it seems Jan would rather we excavate the dining room table instead. Actually, that probably makes more sense.Continue reading “The Things We Find”
The Last Visit
Dearest Rachel – Well, it’s over. Chompers survived through his final hydrotherapy session. For once (after several weeks of Erin’s urgings), I even remembered to bring treats for him, to reward him for getting there, for letting the girls push him around in the pool, and for enduring the indignities of being dried off afterwards,Continue reading “The Last Visit”
Worth a Try
Dearest Rachel – Well, bang goes that approach. Still, I had to try. I said I was going to just yesterday, and that I would report back. So, here’s my report: Chompers doesn’t like being in the bathroom with me any more than he likes me being in there showering by myself. You might thinkContinue reading “Worth a Try”
Faded Glow
Dearest Rachel – Some nights, getting Chompers to bed isn’t so difficult. Give him his pill, take him out, he pees, bring him in, set him down, give him his bedtime treats, and let him position himself (I am starting to learn that, regardless of what he’s truly capable of, he’d prefer to at leastContinue reading “Faded Glow”
Bathing vs Barking
Dearest Rachel – No, I’m not about to talk about bathing Chompers. I honestly don’t have a clue how to go about that, and if anything, I should probably set up an appointment with the groomers to deal with that at some point in the near future. After all, he needs his nails trimmed andContinue reading “Bathing vs Barking”
Havering
Dearest Rachel – The Scots have this perfectly charming word that, by dint of it belonging exclusively to them throughout the English-speaking word, speaks volumes about their level of self-awareness in comparison to the rest of us. ha·ver/ˈhāvər/ havered; past participle: havered; gerund or present participle: haveringto talk foolishly; babble. Evidently, foolish talk is soContinue reading “Havering”
No Room for an Empty Chair
Dearest Rachel – Once again, it was a near run thing. After dealing with this cold for the better (worse?) part of yesterday – and having the folks come over to deliver the food they were going to serve Daniel and me, as we were supposed to come over last night for dinner – IContinue reading “No Room for an Empty Chair”
from Rachel: The Colt
“In honor of Palm Sunday, here is a drama that was performed as First Baptist Church of Macomb in 1993, with my mother Jo in the part of Hilda.” I found this script among a number of papers on your side of the bedroom, sweetheart. I expect the reason you kept this was because ofContinue reading “from Rachel: The Colt”
What You’re Getting Into
Dearest Rachel – There’s a story about Sir Thomas More that, when approached by a prospective suitor for the hand of one of his daughters in marriage, he took the young man to the girl’s bedchamber, whereupon he stripped her naked before him so that he could see what he would be getting in theContinue reading “What You’re Getting Into”
Is This A Feature?
Dearest Rachel – You might recall a cartoon by the man I would refer to as “Uncle Gary” (since we shared the same last name, right down to the spelling with an “o” rather than an “e”): So, just a few minutes ago, at about one in the morning, I rolled out of my sickbedContinue reading “Is This A Feature?”
Cash in Cards
Dearest Rachel – I have to tell you, Jan has this thing about finding money in the houses she helps clean out and organize. She prides herself both on locating cash squirreled away in ridiculous places and in the fact that she lets her clients know about what she’s found. One of the first daysContinue reading “Cash in Cards”
Paranoia Over the Perfectly Normal
Dearest Rachel – So last night, I could feel the beginnings of a raw throat as I prepared for bed. And sure enough, this morning I woke up with a cough, sneezing and a runny nose. In a normal year, we would know that this would be the beginning of a garden variety 24-48 hourContinue reading “Paranoia Over the Perfectly Normal”
Ceding Territory
Dearest Rachel – Given the limited amount of human contact he engages in these days, I know full well I have no right to object to the days when his friend Logan comes over. The thing is, Logan himself has said – even since the accident – how “welcoming” our home is, and I certainlyContinue reading “Ceding Territory”
So Many Spinning Plates
Dearest Rachel – Home used to be a haven for me. I could come home after a hard day, even after spending a hour or two (or three) in a conference room being told by my boss that I was a worthless piece of, well, you know; that I was a huge disappointment to him,Continue reading “So Many Spinning Plates”
How Will I Know?
Dearest Rachel – You’d probably think from the title of this post, along with my habit of adding music to various missives as appropriate, that you’d be hearing the strains of Whitney Houston by now. Well, this isn’t that kind of topic; so… surprise?! The thing is, as I’ve been struggling to keep up withContinue reading “How Will I Know?”
When I Grow Up
Dearest Rachel – There was some confusion on Monday about whether Awana (and particularly, Sparks) was to be held that night. Our paper copy of the schedule had the 22nd as a day off, presumably due to Spring Break – granted, I was also assuming we’d be holding club every single week by now, soContinue reading “When I Grow Up”
Hūsker Dū?
Dearest Rachel – For all the games you collected during your childhood, and all those we added throughout our married life… …we never owned this one: Actually, I vaguely recall my grandmother and grandfather having a copy of this game – which amounted to a glorified version of Concentration, when all was said and doneContinue reading “Hūsker Dū?”
I Hope You Had the Time of Your Life
Dearest Rachel – It’s been two months, now. I wonder how many months it will be, or if it will ever happen, when I can see the 23th of the month as something other than “X months since the accident.” I also wonder if Jan has arranged her schedule to make sure I’m busy onContinue reading “I Hope You Had the Time of Your Life”
What is “All Right” Anymore?
Dear Rachel – I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it to you before in these letters, but mornings are just awful sometimes. Even when everything goes right. Chompers slept through the night – even letting me take a shower without waking up and whining, or worse, barking – and got everything out of his systemContinue reading “What is “All Right” Anymore?”
My Darling Raven
Dearest Rachel – I will never stop saying it, because it will never not be true: it’s the little things that you miss the most, now that you’re gone. This morning, I’m working in the booth at church. Not for the first time since you left, but every time has its little differences. This time,Continue reading “My Darling Raven”
from Rachel: Psalm 19:13
Dearest Rachel – There are times when I really wish I knew the context behind some of the notes you left behind for me to find – although that is surely not what you intended. Honestly, you seem to have kept a lot of secrets about yourself – things written down for nobody’s eyes butContinue reading “from Rachel: Psalm 19:13”
One Final Trip (part 1)
Dearest Rachel – I have yet to find a place that can open your phone up and download the data from it – the last place I went to only seemed to work on actual smart phones (which you forever resisted getting – guess that might have been a good plan at this point) –Continue reading “One Final Trip (part 1)”
Vernal Equinox
Dearest Rachel – Well, it’s not quite been two months, but we’ve reached something of a milestone. Spring is upon us – at least, according to the split of daytime to nighttime. I’ve been hearing about something called “Chicagohenge” wherein the rising and setting sun throw light westward and eastward respectively for blocks. I’d neverContinue reading “Vernal Equinox”
Chasing the Sandman
Dearest Rachel – Does it still count as sleep if, while your body lies there, recumbent in bed, your mind is spinning like tires stuck in the snow? Because I don’t know the answer; all I know is that I don’t want to get up yet. The girls came over last night, just to hangContinue reading “Chasing the Sandman”
Charity Begins at the Triangle
Dearest Rachel – I will always remember your generous spirit, both in terms of your time and effort, and in terms of just giving to people. When a matter would arise that we agreed we should contribute to, I would always talk to you about how much we should give. For the most part, theContinue reading “Charity Begins at the Triangle”
from Rachel: Absolution
Dearest Rachel – Normally, I would put one of your notes up on Sunday morning, as they mostly come from sermon notes and bible studies. But upon discovering this barely half an hour before Jan was to arrive this morning, I had to include it here and now: It’s as if, after the awful up-and-downContinue reading “from Rachel: Absolution”
Letters to Rachel 