from Rachel: False Accusations

Can you think of a time when you were falsely accused of something? “Yes and no (Something I totally didn’t do, only by Jokun, doing on purpose with hurtful motives, something I did carelessly, lots of times)”

What was the outcome? “(hiccup cured) With Sally we would eventually reconcile, the one time with Suzy, it deepened our friendship and our understanding of each other and how we think.”

What part did God play in the outcome? “I think He softened our hearts to guide us into reconciliation.”

What is one truth you would draw from the Scripture you’ve studied today? “God is always with me, no matter what.”

I remember the story you told me about Jokun, your classmate from elementary school who had fled her homeland of Cambodia back during the worst days of the Khmer Rouge, although she may have been too young to know about what was going on there at the time. As far as I know, you had already lost touch with her by the time we met, because she no longer lived in Macomb by then… but, you always have these sort of stories.

As I heard it, you’d gotten a particularly nasty case of the hiccups, and, noticing you were suffering, she came up to you, and demanded, “Where’s that five dollars you owe me?”

You stopped, and replied defensively, “What? What are you talking about? I don’t owe you any five dollars!” To which she smiled and responded, “You don’t have any hiccups any more, either.” And sure enough, you’d been cured. It was a different approach than the whole ‘scare it out of you,’ but it worked just as well.

Not sure that it qualifies as being accused unjustly, but since it felt like that for a moment, I guess it counts for that moment as an example.

With regard to Sally, well, there wasn’t any specific example I can think of. She was just a friend that required the extra grace you could manage when most of the rest of the world (including me, I’m sorry to say) couldn’t. Even if I could, I shouldn’t go into details as to why she was so difficult to be friends with. But you managed, even in spite of various accusations – and you seem from this answer to not have felt yourself entirely without fault. It might have been – to give a likely example – an accusation of ignoring her too much. I really couldn’t say.

And the matter with Suzy, well… this is one I’ve actually pieced together rather inadvertently – and in completely the reverse order. As Jan and I have been going through your papers in the basement, I found what looked to be a draft of a letter to her explaining why you had not answered her messages for some time. It stemmed from a voicemail she had left you on August 18, 2014, accusing you of… something? and you asked her to review what she had said to you and recant certain more inappropriate things. Since this was written in your hand, I was not about to let go of it, but I clearly didn’t have any context for it, so I gave it no further thought.

Days (perhaps even weeks) later, I was waiting for Chompers to fall asleep, and was going through your nightstand drawer, to see what could be cleared out, when I discovered a transcript of the voicemail. It had hurt you so much that you transcribed it, and kept it in your nightstand. Look, I know some of your friends required that extra bit of grace, like Sally and Suzy (and like Chompers, when we first met him), but the things she was saying! Yes, you didn’t have any experience in the workforce, but some of the rest made me want to drive out to Iowa and punch her, nearly seven years after the fact.

But not you. While I don’t know if you sent a copy of your letter (or the transcript of her vitriolic voicemail), you somehow got in touch with her eventually and worked things out with her. Admittedly, you didn’t spend as much time with her as she would like, but considering that her message indicated that she would never talk to you again (although evidently from your reply, she had tried to contact you shortly after saying she never would, so there’s that), the fact that you remained friends to the end is a testament to your own persistence in resolving the situation.

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I am Rachel's husband. Was. I'm still trying to deal with it. I probably always will be.

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