Dearest Rachel – As crass as I consider it to be to acknowledge it most of the time, everything in life floats upon a sea of money. Very little in life gets done until someone gets paid – or at least is given a promise that they will. Everything costs something… no free lunch, andContinue reading “Commercial Break”
Monthly Archives: July 2021
Missing Dawn
Dearest Rachel – After pausing wonderingly through a vision in which I meet Sylvester McCoy (who greets me warmly and asks if I’m ‘still at that charming place,’ which I take to mean our house. He talks about it in glowing terms, as if he’s seen it, but appears unaware that you’re no longer withContinue reading “Missing Dawn”
The Thirty-First of the Month
Dearest Rachel – I never really gave much thought to the thirty-first of the month. Yes, certain things occurred on the last day of the month – bills to pay, income transferred, that sort of thing that was more or less routine – but nothing that could be considered upsetting in any way. But theseContinue reading “The Thirty-First of the Month”
AI After Dark
Dearest Rachel – One of the places they suggested at the volunteer desk last night that I could serve at is outside certain panel rooms, checking people for IDs. After all, while AnimeIowa has traditionally billed itself as a family friendly convention, there are plenty of subjects (and anime) that aren’t meant for children. AsContinue reading “AI After Dark”
Behind the Table
Dearest Rachel – More stories from the convention: The recharge room was virtually empty – which apparently has been the idea the whole time, go figure! – so, with no one to speak of to hang out with, I find myself making my way back down to the volunteer booth. The gal down there givesContinue reading “Behind the Table”
Amblin’ About
Dearest Rachel – Sorry to disappoint you, but this entry isn’t going to be about old Steve Spielberg’s film studio – not even the bit about the Animaniacs, as much as we might have loved them. This is an anime convention, after all. None of this American garbage here, now. This was supposed to beContinue reading “Amblin’ About”
Morning in an Empty Hotel Room
Dearest Rachel – It’s Friday morning, just a little after seven (which means I’ve actually slept in after last night, to be honest). I’m awake, and it’s long before anything is supposed to start here at the convention. And there’s only so long I can convince myself that you’re downstairs, taking a dip in theContinue reading “Morning in an Empty Hotel Room”
Checking In and Checking Out
Dearest Rachel – It’s about 8 o’clock when I get here. The road leading up to the hotel is much more built-up; several new restaurants – and an arena, of all things! – line the area. It seems, too, that my idea of being here on Thursday isn’t unique to me. The parking lot –Continue reading “Checking In and Checking Out”
Always One More Thing
Dearest Rachel – Now that you’ve been gone for all this time, I guess it falls to me to pull the “just one more thing” routine before heading out on a trip. Bear in mind, I was in no hurry to leave today – and I’m still not. Kris was coming over to clean, andContinue reading “Always One More Thing”
The Wide and Lonesome Road
Dearest Rachel – Look, this is not the proof-of-concept, can-I-travel-on-my-own venture that you might think it would be. After all, I’ve driven more or less nonstop to Tennessee earlier this year, and that was twice the distance and length as this trip. I’ve said it before, but it needs to be reiterated; it’s not thatContinue reading “The Wide and Lonesome Road”
Other People’s Problems
Dearest Rachel – As much as she insists that she is not – and has no desire to be – “Megumi,” Erin does have a curious knack for proving my point that ‘it is not right for a man to be alone.’ If I wander around, lost in my own thoughts, before too long, thoseContinue reading “Other People’s Problems”
Losing Focus
Dearest Rachel – I know how pointless it is to do so, but I can’t help considering the whys and wherefores behind your departure. Now, I know full well that it may just be a case of “things happen,” like Jesus’ reference to the tower of Siloam. And yet, it’s human nature to try andContinue reading “Losing Focus”
A Pallet of Pop
Dearest Rachel – You know, I’m a trip to the supermarket really shouldn’t wreck me, especially not after all this time. And yet, here we are from time to time. The thing is, I almost never went to Meier on my own. While I’m sure you went by yourself more often than not, I almostContinue reading “A Pallet of Pop”
Preparing to Leave the House
Dearest Rachel – I never really considered just how involved this process was of putting ourselves together for a convention weekend. All I ever did was to pack the computers and hard drives and my own set of clothes and toiletries, and call it good. There’s so much else that has to be taken careContinue reading “Preparing to Leave the House”
Walking Him Home
Dearest Rachel – I have just woken up, and am lying in bed, dictating this. This morning’s dream was nothing particularly special. If anything, the scene seemed almost realistic, at least, in appearance. In it, I was walking Chompers home. Not on the return leg of whatever circuit we might be taking; no, I’m talkingContinue reading “Walking Him Home”
The Last Will and Testament of Sir Silk Cerise
“July 26, 2011 “Sir Silk Cerise – Last Will & Testament “I bequeath unto my family: a tear on their cheek, a hollow in their hearts, and my thanks for over thirteen years of love and kindness. “At 8:45, Dr. Barclay gave Sir Silk his shots to put him to sleep (He watched us, waggingContinue reading “The Last Will and Testament of Sir Silk Cerise”
Self-Indulgence and Survivor’s Guilt
Dearest Rachel – Among the many reasons why I wish you were still here, you could remind me of some of the things we did together back in the day. I have mostly vague recollections, and the occasional sharp image or phrase, but that’s about it. Sometimes, the only way I can remember when somethingContinue reading “Self-Indulgence and Survivor’s Guilt”
A Single Nuke Can Ruin Your Entire Day
Dearest Rachel – I know we never got into the show (which is weird, considering how many shows we did get into), but I do feel like I could’ve benefited from binge watching Rick and Morty at some point. I’m pretty sure that Rick would’ve had an answer for the problem I encountered in myContinue reading “A Single Nuke Can Ruin Your Entire Day”
from Rachel: What Drives Your Life?
“I am chagrined to admit that my driving force would generally be the pursuit of pleasure. The second would be necessity. The latter kicks in when the former is overcome by: hunger, fear (of scoldings etc.) pride (not wanting to accept the image and all the labels I earn), nagging etc.” “I’m not sure whatContinue reading “from Rachel: What Drives Your Life?”
Tetris Skillz
Dearest Rachel – “Use your Tetris skills!” Jeff says. You have no idea how much I miss you right now. There must be about a dozen of us here, guys coming straight from the Saturday morning Bible study, to help a couple move out. All this stuff is going into storage, at least for theContinue reading “Tetris Skillz”
What To Do About VidCon?
Dearest Rachel – So, the news has come down the pike… they’re actually holding VidCon this year. It’s going to be in October this year, rather than June or July, but it’s still happening. I wonder how that’s going to fly with its core audience, which seems to be kids who otherwise ought to beContinue reading “What To Do About VidCon?”
It’s Only Property – But it’s All We Have
Dearest Rachel – Since I was awoken this morning by the dog whimpering (he’d pooped in his sleep on the blanket yet again – I do sometimes wonder why I wash it every time he does this, as this means I’ll wind up sticking it in the laundry almost every day at this rate), thisContinue reading “It’s Only Property – But it’s All We Have”
Part Of Each Other’s World
Dearest Rachel – Years before I met you – indeed, before I even graduated from high school (although after my relationship with Chris fell apart) – I had come up with a name for my hoped-for “someone,” much like I have done these past few months with the concept of “Megumi.” While I gave itContinue reading “Part Of Each Other’s World”
Detailed Plans
Dearest Rachel – Look, you’re going to have to put up with puns on the word ‘Detail’ for most of these entries going forward. It’s the name of the kitchen & bath design showroom, after all, and while this has nothing to do with being a dad, there’s still a lot of dad jokes toContinue reading “Detailed Plans”
Leftoverture
Dearest Rachel – You know full well that I’ve never been a fan of leftovers. Although it’s not the food per se – give me a half-full pizza box from Lou Malnati’s, and I’ll be happy for days – it’s more a question of the obligation to eat it within a certain amount of time;Continue reading “Leftoverture”
Secular Answers
Dearest Rachel – You might remember the many times that we would talk together about various issues of the day, and what’s up with the younger generation. Part of that had to do with one of my ideas for a YouTube channel – I was hoping to illustrate to a younger audience than ourselves (which,Continue reading “Secular Answers”
I’m So Sorry, Mrs. Gecsy
Dearest Rachel – There’s a lot of wrenching decisions to be made in the process of cleaning up the house. One of those is the question of what to do with all the artwork. Like with the pictures of your family going back generations and then out several times removed, I have no emotional connectionContinue reading “I’m So Sorry, Mrs. Gecsy”
The Algebra of Nighttime
Dearest Rachel – So I was napping in my recliner last night, as I tend to do when I realize that Chompers is, when I was awoken by the old man barking. He had woken up, and he needed… something. Fine. That’s more than fair. So I get up to head to the kitchen andContinue reading “The Algebra of Nighttime”
Kitchen Jazz
Dearest Rachel – Unlike you and your family and their recipes, I tended to improvise in the kitchen – a lot. When we would make spaghetti every Monday evening (and later, once Awana moved to Monday, every Friday evening), I would just brown some ground beef, pour in the spaghetti sauce, dump all manner ofContinue reading “Kitchen Jazz”
Left Over From the Move
Dearest Rachel – Rather than talk to Daniel about the people he listens to, I figured we might as well work on the stuff in his room. After all, we’re down to his room as far as the cleaning process goes. It will make more sense, and be less painful, if he’s involved in theContinue reading “Left Over From the Move”
If You’re Looking for Devils
Dearest Rachel – When I was a freshman in high school, I think it was our youth group that went to another church where there was a presentation about the evils of rock music. I heard it all there: the ‘fact’ that the Eagles’ Hotel California album featured Anton LeVay head of the church ofContinue reading “If You’re Looking for Devils”
For the Briefest of Moments
Dearest Rachel – It all felt so real. You were there, in my arms. I could touch you; my arms were around your neck, and draped over your shoulders. You seemed so bewildered as to why I was sobbing so, and holding onto you like a life preserver, as if I would die were IContinue reading “For the Briefest of Moments”
from Rachel: You Are Not an Accident
“April 21, 2004 “My first thought is that I’m pretty content in my skin. I can’t think of much that I still need to accept. But that sounds prideful, so let’s go deeper. I suppose as far as appearance, I love what God has given me, but I don’t like any changes – I pluckContinue reading “from Rachel: You Are Not an Accident”
Drowning Out The Silence
Dearest Rachel – It’s been an unusual day today. After scheduling the plan last week due to some unforeseen delays at the airport, Kat has invited Daniel over to her place, where they’ll do pretty much the same thing that Logan does when he comes here: watching anime. So this means the house has beenContinue reading “Drowning Out The Silence”
Birthday Plans Gone Awry
Dearest Rachel – There are times when I wish I was better at writing at certain hours. The early mornings, in particular, are fairly conducive to the process, as there’s nobody up but me and the dog. Even on our busy thorough fare, cars are few and far between at this hour. I have theContinue reading “Birthday Plans Gone Awry”
Passing in His Sleep
Dearest Rachel – The other day, I got tired of waiting for Chompers to fall back asleep so that I could leave for the ‘office,’ so I just left him lying on the blanket in the sunroom, in the hopes that he would eventually find a comfortable position and go to sleep without disturbing DanielContinue reading “Passing in His Sleep”
I Can’t Be Overdrawn…
Dearest Rachel – Well, you know the punch to that line; I hardly have to recite it to you. The weird thing is, for the last week and a half, I’ve had the exact opposite problem – we were down to our last two or three checks. So how are we going to pay billsContinue reading “I Can’t Be Overdrawn…”
The Liberation of Surrender
Dearest Rachel – So just last night, I was observing how difficult it was for me to follow my own advice, and simply (and completely) give up on the possibility of finding another life partner like yourself. This morning, on the other hand, I find myself considering just how much better off I am, nowContinue reading “The Liberation of Surrender”
Trying to Take My Own Advice
Dearest Rachel – I’m sure by now that you’ve noticed a lot of my letters to you seem a little bit disjointed and disorganized. They do tend to bounce around from thought to thought within the alleged confines of the topic I’ve decided to cover in the letter (and even then sometimes it’s hard toContinue reading “Trying to Take My Own Advice”
Out of the Closet
Dearest Rachel – I know you’re looking at that title; and no, it doesn’t mean that. Just take it literally, like you’re supposed to. I stayed home from the office today, because both Jan and Kris were over as part of the (seemingly) never-ending cleaning effort. I left Kris to her own devices – andContinue reading “Out of the Closet”
The Drama Llama
Dearest Rachel – Among the piles of clothing that filled the sunroom once upon a time, there were some Christmas presents that you never got the chance to enjoy. There was the odd item that didn’t arrive in time, since you had ordered them for yourself (it was a standing agreement that if you foundContinue reading “The Drama Llama”
Another Errandy Day
Dearest Rachel – There are some days where I just feel like I have to keep you appraised of everything that’s been going on. What is it the song says? “A line a day, when you’re far away”? Yeah, I haven’t exactly been able to keep up with that. Sure, there’s plenty to talk aboutContinue reading “Another Errandy Day”
The Sullen Little Girl and Her Raggedy Ann
Dearest Rachel – This photo hung on the wall – along with a collection of other family photos, but this and the one of their last dog took pride of place, due to their size and prominence – in the hall leading from the family room of your parents’ house to their bedroom, passing byContinue reading “The Sullen Little Girl and Her Raggedy Ann”
Three Lefts
Dearest Rachel – I’m sure you’re familiar with the old saying that ‘two wrongs don’t make a right.’ And I’m sure that Relient K weren’t the first people to come up with it when they added the subtitle ‘(but three lefts do)’ to one of their albums. But that’s the full phrase that goes throughContinue reading “Three Lefts”
What Does This Say About Us?
A ·good [righteous] person can look forward to happiness,but ·an evil person can expect nothing [L the hope of an evil person will perish]. Proverbs 10:28, Expanded Bible Dearest Rachel – It wasn’t all that long ago that we were, in fact, looking forward to happiness together. So many of the things that cause most people to struggle inContinue reading “What Does This Say About Us?”
from Rachel: It All Starts With God
“April 20, 2004 “Let me begin by saying that this is my second time through this book. However, this time I intend to make every effort to read one chapter a day as intended (not cram on the afternoon of the meeting). How can I remind myself today that life is really about living forContinue reading “from Rachel: It All Starts With God”
Can’t Recall The Verse
Dearest Rachel – I don’t often set my alarm these days, but it’s necessary on Saturdays, in order to ensure I’m there on time for the men’s Bible study (not to mention the fact that, on the first Saturday of the month – because last week was a holiday – the guys organizing it fixContinue reading “Can’t Recall The Verse”
Problems With My Parenting
Dearest Rachel – So the folks have developed this routine of inviting us over almost every Thursday night. It’s really not unlike back in the days when you would be visiting your parents for a week, or those times you would go on women’s retreats, or any other point in which you were away fromContinue reading “Problems With My Parenting”
Three Hundred
Dearest Rachel – This is the second week in a row that Jan‘s charges for her time have amounted to three hundred dollars exactly. And like I told her last week, the thought immediately runs through my head as I look at the room that we’ve been working on for the past few hours: This!Continue reading “Three Hundred”
Waking Up Is Hard To Do
Dearest Rachel – There are still some mornings when I wake up, bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to take on the world and everything in it. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, God’s in his heaven and all’s well with the world. I can’t remember when the last time was that IContinue reading “Waking Up Is Hard To Do”
Observations Along The Way
Dearest Rachel – Depending on when I leave the house, I can (and do) run into a number of people along the way. And I have to admit, I can’t seem to prevent myself from commenting on some of the things I see. To borrow from the legendary Yogi Berra, “you can observe a lotContinue reading “Observations Along The Way”
Dreams of a Fast Food Breakfast
Dearest Rachel – One of the many books that you left behind was a reissued copy of Windsor McCay’s “Dreams of a Rarebit Fiend,” wherein aficionados of the titular grilled cheese with mustard sandwich who’d eaten it too late at night would suffer from bizarre nighttime visions not unlike those of his later, more famousContinue reading “Dreams of a Fast Food Breakfast”
Of Madness And Memories
Dearest Rachel – In literature, the color yellow seems to be associated very closely with madness. There’s The King in Yellow referenced by Lovecraft, the story of “The Yellow Wall-Paper” by Charlotte Gilman, and so forth. I think that, in some way, it’s why Ellen chose it to serve as the color of what weContinue reading “Of Madness And Memories”
Fugue State Vignettes
Dearest Rachel – A quick word of warning: this particular letter is not going to make any sense, it’s going to hop between one image or moment and another. That’s because everything listed here happens in my sleep, or just as I’m yanked out of it. So, the other night, I was in in theContinue reading “Fugue State Vignettes”
Nevermind
Here we are now, entertain us… Nirvana, “Smells Like Teen Spirit”, from Nevermind (1991) Are you not entertained? Are you not entertained?! Maximus (Russell Crowe), Gladiator (2000) Dearest Rachel – Well, I said that I would let you know about the festival once I actually went to one (Although I specified that it would beContinue reading “Nevermind”
A Bountiful Harvest
Dearest Rachel – Normally, when he barks to be let out during the day, I’m not the one home to put Chompers out; that’s something Daniel handles. Even when I’m home, I’m usually busy with Jan in another part of the house. And during weekends and holidays, when I am the go-to for getting himContinue reading “A Bountiful Harvest”
Outage
Dearest Rachel – So, this evening, I had uploaded a video to YouTube to attach to a letter I was going to send to you regarding July Fourth and fireworks. I was working on the letter itself, and a few videos I’d taken from Saturday to add to the illustrations when… I could no longerContinue reading “Outage”
Never Mind The Professionals
Dear Rachel – So yesterday, Jeff and Julie invited the two of us over for a Fourth of July cookout (yes, I know it was on the third, but you know, Saturday versus Sunday). I warned Jeff that I would be late, because I was working in the booth this weekend, and as it soContinue reading “Never Mind The Professionals”
from Rachel: Stuck in Conflict
“Peace is not found in winning or avoiding conflict, but in rightly handling conflict. “1. Start with love.” Therefore, my brothers, whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm thus in the Lord, my beloved. Philippians 4:1, English Standard Bible “Verse 4:1 is easy to pass over too quickly to getContinue reading “from Rachel: Stuck in Conflict”
On My Own Recognizance
Dearest Rachel – So, Logan came over yesterday, and I did my level best to stay out of the boys way. Kept busy with writing to you, and picking up dinner for them from a local outlet of some national pizza chain. Also slept a bit more, as the dog seems somehow calmer when there’sContinue reading “On My Own Recognizance”
To What Purpose?
Dearest Rachel – It has been a while since I last identified myself as such, and probably even longer since someone else has, but the other day, I was told that I was “task-oriented.” Now, that’s not news to me; in my many struggles with my boss back in the day, I often brought upContinue reading “To What Purpose?”
Not in the Night Soil Business
Dearest Rachel – Leave it to the Victorians to come up with such a quaint and pleasant-sounding term for a decidedly unpleasant job dealing with decidedly unpleasant material. In the days before indoor plumbing was common, human waste was removed from the privies and cesspools of urban dwellings and transported out of the city byContinue reading “Not in the Night Soil Business”
Early Morning in a Strange City
Let’s go up on the roof beneath the neonPretend we’re foreigners and drink the city inSomewhere between the stairwell and the starlightI find myself holding your hand Mark Heard, “Love is Not the Only Thing,” from Second Hand, 1992 Dearest Rachel – I’d kind of like to start this letter off like a conversation: youContinue reading “Early Morning in a Strange City”
By A Different Name
Dearest Rachel – Well, color me shocked. I had been informed months ago by the highest authority (which is to say, the local newspaper) that our village wouldn’t be holding Frontier Days over the July 4th holiday. So, when I saw the installation at Melas Park the other day, I naturally assumed that the nextContinue reading “By A Different Name”
Yet Another Goodbye
Dearest Rachel – It seems the 2021 has been, is, and will be the year of losses for me. Your departure would’ve been more than enough to make it so, but of course there are all these littler ones that follow, or that are expected to follow. You’ve certainly heard plenty from me about Chompers;Continue reading “Yet Another Goodbye”
Letters to Rachel 