Dearest Rachel – Lynda Barry, underground cartoonist and one of Matt Groening’s mentors and inspirations, once described love as “an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.” Considering your and my distaste for tobacco in the first place (although you might remember my claim that cigar smoke, in small doses, is redolent of childhood trips to WrigleyContinue reading “Walls of Meaningless Text”
Category Archives: Adventures in Online Dating
Text Silence
Dearest Rachel – For all that I’ve told you about the more-than-occasional mad rush of messages I get from folks I meet on dating websites, this story is about the opposite side of the coin. Sometimes, you want to keep things going, just to make sure, but things go silent on the other end ofContinue reading “Text Silence”
Seeking Shelter
Dearest Rachel – I’m not sure if you were ever acquainted with the phrase ‘love bombing’; it’s a term I’ve encountered more and more as time goes on, and our time together gets further away, ironically enough. I’m not sure if it’s one of the latest buzzwords in pop psychology, or if it’s just somethingContinue reading “Seeking Shelter”
Were She Here Already
Dearest Rachel – I’ve been keeping in touch with “Lee” now since March or April, I think (I’m pretty sure that was when we discovered we shared a birthday, right down to the same year and all). And while I haven’t been texting her quite as faithfully as I’ve been writing to you (I’m downContinue reading “Were She Here Already”
Either a Liar or a Fool
Dearest Rachel – You probably remember this meme, as the template has been going around for ages: “Never Ask: a woman, her age; a man, his salary; and” the third option – the real punchline – being something that the questioner really wouldn’t want the answer to. It would either one of those ridiculous imponderablesContinue reading “Either a Liar or a Fool”
Out of Sync
Dearest Rachel – It’s probably not advisable for me to be writing to you like this at three or four in the morning; it certainly would have been pointless to talk to you like this back in the days when you were alive, as you would have just gotten to bed and fallen asleep, mostContinue reading “Out of Sync”
In Prandium Veritas
Dearest Rachel – You’re well familiar with my rule regarding long-distance travel; if it takes longer to get somewhere and back than the time spent at the destination, then it really wasn’t worth the time to bother with. It always struck me as overly cruel when executives from my old workplace were required to flyContinue reading “In Prandium Veritas”
Gradually, and Then Suddenly
Dearest Rachel – One more story for you from the convention this past weekend, although with the understanding that, like the one about Daniel at the restaurant table, the convention merely serves as a backdrop to the real action (and the thought processes that passed through my mind throughout it all). Ironically, it all beganContinue reading “Gradually, and Then Suddenly”
It Can’t Rain Forever
Dearest Rachel – While I might point out that I’m still sleepy this morning from having stayed up later than usual with Daniel watching videos last night – and I may have gotten a little too smug about dropping my weight down to two-oh-six after yesterday morning’s workout (had leftover salad to serve as myContinue reading “It Can’t Rain Forever”
Nearly Bird
Dearest Rachel – This is hardly groundbreaking news – especially to you, of all people – but very few of us, once we reach a certain point in our adult life, care to admit to our advancing age, even to ourselves. We would prefer to be, and act, like someone considerably younger than ourselves; asContinue reading “Nearly Bird”
I Can Smell the Barbeque
Dearest Rachel – “We need to talk.” Those four words (and their variations) have chilled the blood of boyfriends and husbands throughout the world for generations. We always somehow knew the that the topic of conversation was going to be an unpleasant one, and we were likely to be receiving blame for the situation itselfContinue reading “I Can Smell the Barbeque”
Another Part of the Routine
Dearest Rachel – I’ve mentioned before how, at the moment, I’m best able to come up with (or at least start on) topics to relate to you in between crunch sets at the gym. I’m not sure why; it’s probably from having to do something while I’m catching my breath, and this is as goodContinue reading “Another Part of the Routine”
The Persistence of Hyperreality
Dearest Rachel – I don’t think I got enough sleep last night; Daniel and I were up past eleven (stop laughing, honey, you know that’s late for me!) watching YouTube videos and dealing with an interruption that I’ll get to in a moment. Then, as I tried to drift off to sleep, I found myselfContinue reading “The Persistence of Hyperreality”
…And There It Is…Again
Dearest Rachel – And to think, I was going to write you about this girl last week in fairly glowing terms, especially considering the level of proof she seemed to have given me. But after setting her story aside for the moment in order to cover actual events happening in my life, things… began toContinue reading “…And There It Is…Again”
Accustomed to the Emptiness
Dearest Rachel – To a certain extent, I think that I’m living the life I expected to when I graduated from college with no one to my name but myself. Much as some folks used to denigrate the university experience as an opportunity for certain females to obtain their “Mrs.” degree (is that still aContinue reading “Accustomed to the Emptiness”
Spending Out Of Spite
Dearest Rachel – It’s the sort of thing that would be an episode in any number of high-school (give or take a grade year or two) anime comedies. The main character goes on a date with a girl he likes, while another girl (who he also likes, but assumes wrongly that she hates him, becauseContinue reading “Spending Out Of Spite”
Assume That They’re All Fake
Dearest Rachel – So… tomorrow is Friday, a day we all celebrate, for our various reasons – even if only because most of our fellows are (temporarily) released from their workaday prisons (which they may or may not recognize as such, but whatever). It is also Valentine’s Day, which for the fifth year in aContinue reading “Assume That They’re All Fake”
Well, Why Waste Time?
Dearest Rachel – When we walk through the woods, Lars will often ask me about my romantic life, such as it is; whether I’ve found anybody out here in the ether – or at church or whatever circles I make my way through in life – and how things have been progressing. Considering that he’sContinue reading “Well, Why Waste Time?”
State of Normalcy
Dearest Rachel – Is it strange that it’s been half a week since getting off the ship before I start telling you anything about life back home? You’d think that there wasn’t anything to talk about here, now that I’ve returned to a state of normalcy. And let’s face it, you wouldn’t be that farContinue reading “State of Normalcy”
An Anastasia of My Own
Dearest Rachel – After all this time, it’s hard to remember whether you were still around when Kevin introduced us to his online TikTok girlfriend, Anastasia. For that matter, it’s not as if I can check with him about the details of when and how he met her; if it was a matter of beingContinue reading “An Anastasia of My Own”
They’re Barely Pretending
Dearest Rachel – Back when I first considered subscribing to an online dating service, Jan cautioned me – even as she was encouraging me to sign up in the first place – to think of it in terms of entertainment, as opposed to pinning my hopes of actually finding true love there. Best not toContinue reading “They’re Barely Pretending”
Daylight Between Us
Dearest Rachel – It wasn’t what I expected to be doing of a Tuesday evening, but as dates go, I suppose it could have been worse. At least it was a pleasant discussion, and neither of us had much time to develop a case of nerves beforehand. You can probably guess even just by thatContinue reading “Daylight Between Us”
Sick People
Dearest Rachel – Well, I honestly thought I might get away with it. Given that my exercise regimen supposedly should have a positive effect on my health and immune system, I half-expected that I might be able to dodge whatever it is that Daniel came down with late last week. And maybe that’s still inContinue reading “Sick People”
Price Point
Dearest Rachel – Yesterday found me between responsibilities, for the most part, at the ‘office.’ I had sent off what I considered to be the last of the reports our auditors needed for the annual review, and while the month has ended, I was still waiting for information from other people in order for meContinue reading “Price Point”
Superior But Equal
Dearest Rachel – A lot of men, including myself, will jocularly refer to their wives as their “better half,” with a fair amount of unspoken truth embedded in that title. While I don’t think I’m qualified to speak for all men, I can’t be the only one who sometimes suffers from “imposter syndrome” when itContinue reading “Superior But Equal”
The Ship That Hasn’t Sailed Yet
Dearest Rachel – So this is it; a day that I’ve promised myself would come, in which I’m doing the whole ‘tourist in my home town’ bit. Oddly enough, I’m doing something that we’ve done before – which, considering how little time we ever spent in the city (apart from admiring the annual Christmas decorationsContinue reading “The Ship That Hasn’t Sailed Yet”
Just As Well, I Guess
Dearest Rachel – While I did manage to get to the gym yesterday morning, I got a late start on the day, and still wasn’t feeling my best, so I didn’t put in the same level (or time) of workout that I’ve been doing pretty regularly over the past few weeks. I’ve also gone backContinue reading “Just As Well, I Guess”
Giving Up Too Easily?
Dearest Rachel – While it was good to see you last night in my dream, I found it rather confusing. For whatever reason, you seemed to be upset with me. Something about ‘giving up’ on you too easily, as you prepared to leave – which I don’t mind telling you, seemed very out of characterContinue reading “Giving Up Too Easily?”
The Extent of the Effect
Dearest Rachel – “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” So goes Isaac Newton’s first law of motion, the product of the Enlightenment concept of experimentation and observation, as opposed to blind acceptance of received wisdom from generations past. Best envisioned (and demonstrated) on a billiard table or a croquet lawn, thisContinue reading “The Extent of the Effect”
Trying to Reel Me Back
Dearest Rachel – I’m not sure when I’m going to have time to put this together for you. I actually got a full night’s sleep – until past seven, in fact – but that means I’m running rather a bit late for the men’s Bible study this morning. To add to that, Kerstin and IContinue reading “Trying to Reel Me Back”
Giving Up… For Now
Dearest Rachel – It’s official; my subscription to eHarmony ran out at the end of October, and I’ve decided not to renew it. Not for lack of trying on their part, to be sure; I was getting emails from them throughout the last month – and in the last week, they were arriving almost everyContinue reading “Giving Up… For Now”
Random Bits
Dearest Rachel – You know, I have a couple of letters that I’m currently working on to send you, but they aren’t exactly talking about things that are happening to me at any given moment; they’re more just ongoing stuff. So I’m carefully assembling those still, hoping to release them to you when I haveContinue reading “Random Bits”
Scamming God Himself
Dearest Rachel – Things have been rather quiet on the dating front these days; it’s been over a month since Grace and I went to church together, and while I’ve had a couple of conversations with others since then, nothing has really come of any of it. Obviously, this isn’t an ideal situation – I’mContinue reading “Scamming God Himself”
A Question You’d Never Ask Me
“So… how was your date?” Dearest Rachel – I’m pretty sure you actually did ask that very question once or twice, but it was directed at Daniel rather than myself, obviously. He’s had a couple of girlfriends (and friends who were girls; there’s a difference, as you know), and been on a few dates withContinue reading “A Question You’d Never Ask Me”
Essay Test
Dearest Rachel – It’s something of an axiom these days to compare dating with a job interview, especially given the line of questioning one winds up dealing with under the guise of small talk. At least one comedian I know of has suggested that the only difference is that you’re much less likely to windContinue reading “Essay Test”
Just My “Luck”
Dearest Rachel – I’m not entirely sure what prompted it; I think it was some comment on the possibility of an impulse trip this autumn (despite already having lined up this immensely long cruise next spring). I’d probably gotten the idea in my head after inviting the girls over to, among other things, share inContinue reading “Just My “Luck””
They Never Learn… But Then, Neither Do I
Dearest Rachel – I’m not always sure whether my jaded approach to online conversations (I hesitate to call it ‘dating’ anymore, since it never gets anywhere close to that) is excessively cynical, but the alleged women I find myself chatting with always manage to live down to my expectations of them, so perhaps it’s perfectlyContinue reading “They Never Learn… But Then, Neither Do I”
A String of Catfish
Dearest Rachel – You’ve heard from time to time about how I’ve been talking with people online, trying to make connections that could lead to a relationship in my search to find the mythical ‘Megumi,’ the second blessing to take over your role at my side. You’ve heard about the momentary promise I would findContinue reading “A String of Catfish”
Muddled Morning
Dearest Rachel – It’s that kind of morning today; I know I’ve said it before, but it never ceases to strike me as topsy-turvy that the one day a week I have to set my alarm is a Saturday. Sure, it’s the one day that I actually have a commitment to be somewhere earlier thanContinue reading “Muddled Morning”
Perhaps A Little Too Comfortable
Dearest Rachel – So, last night after getting home from the folks for dinner (Dad had been in for a procedure on Wednesday and Thursday to adjust his feeding tube – more to the point, he was getting the finishing touches put on the new port in his stomach – so Mom had her handsContinue reading “Perhaps A Little Too Comfortable”
Five-Year Plan
Dearest Rachel – I’m gonna preface this later by admitting that I really don’t feel like doing anything today. Even something as small as dictating to Siri feels like a herculean effort. So you’ll understand if it turns out that this letter is rather short. The thing is, however, that it’s the moments that areContinue reading “Five-Year Plan”
First Contact
Dearest Rachel – After discovering last night (or rather, this morning, I suppose) at 3:30 that I had fallen asleep in the bedroom rocking chair five hours earlier, I made to brush my teeth, get myself undressed, and drop myself into bed where I belonged. It was easier than it had been for some time,Continue reading “First Contact”
The Pile of Questions
Dearest Rachel – I’m sure that you would tell me that I’m a too bit free-spending these days, dropping money on frivolities that I neither need nor even want, if I really were to think about it. Granted, part of it could probably be attributed to the combination of prices going up as our portfolioContinue reading “The Pile of Questions”
Another Weight Lifted
Dearest Rachel – One of the advantages of being confined to the bedroom while the boys are watching anime in the family room is that, if I get tired or bored, I can just shut my eyes and I’m already in bed. As a result, I’m pretty sure I was asleep before ten last night.Continue reading “Another Weight Lifted”
And Another One Down
Dearest Rachel – Yep; another one bites the dust. Thanks to Logan’s image lookup technique, I have spotted a problem with Aileen. Shortly after she was allegedly assigned to the San Diego naval base, she sent me a picture purporting to be of herself in front of her barracks, wearing what she claimed to beContinue reading “And Another One Down”
Going South (featuring Alexa Brandy)
As promised, honey, this was the chat between me and Alexa once I arrived at the hole-in-the-wall place I’d suggested we meet at, and you can watch as it all fall apart. I want to believe I tried to be as much of a gentleman as possible, without letting on that I was suspicious ofContinue reading “Going South (featuring Alexa Brandy)”
Walking the Fine, Fine Line
There’s fine, fine lineBetween love… and a waste of your time “There’ s A Fine, Fine Line,” sung by Kate Monster (Stephanie D’Abruzzo) in Avenue Q Dearest Rachel – Well, I got what I expected to out of yesterday’s adventure. I didn’t actually have a lunch date (in fact, I didn’t have lunch there atContinue reading “Walking the Fine, Fine Line”
Another Step Forward… Two Steps Back
Dearest Rachel – It’s just about nine in the morning, and I need to head out to the ‘office.’ But I can’t exactly say my mind is entirely on my ‘work.’ My mind is somewhat preoccupied with what’s going on later today. It almost seems inappropriate for me to be going on a date thisContinue reading “Another Step Forward… Two Steps Back”
I Want to Believe
Dearest Rachel – You might dimly remember this slogan; it was the motto of “The X-Files,” which, for all your love of the science fiction and horror genres, you never seemed to get into. Maybe it was just having our hands full with a new baby; maybe it was the fact that we could onlyContinue reading “I Want to Believe”
Turning Away More Than Wrath
Dearest Rachel – So… I’ve gone into great detail to you about my many adventures – and misadventures – in trying to meet people online. Not complete detail, mind you – that won’t happen until the last of them stops ‘sliding into my DMs,’ as I understand the expression goes. I’m ambivalent about that day,Continue reading “Turning Away More Than Wrath”
Fending Off the Flood
Dearest Rachel – You’re probably aware that I have this sort of open door policy towards social media. While I’m not about to set up a profile on Facebook, I exist on several other sites, and I’m willing to take friend requests from whoever asks. I don’t know who first said it, but the phraseContinue reading “Fending Off the Flood”
On the Last Few Pages
Dearest Rachel – After spending Sunday driving home from camp, showing up at church without even bothering to stop at home first, spending the rest of the day resting up from the weekend, and then yesterday trying to get back into my routine in order to set aside what the day represented in terms ofContinue reading “On the Last Few Pages”
A Tempting Cliché
Dearest Rachel – Ever since I let my subscription to that dating app expire, I’ve been waiting for the shoes to drop for each of the last two ladies that I’ve been speaking with. For a while there, it seemed the closest I was going to come to that was when Aileen informed me thatContinue reading “A Tempting Cliché”
Live and In Person
Dearest Rachel – Some time before you left, back when I was still considering assembling some form of YouTube channel, I was reading up on artificial intelligence, and how it was able to compose music. As I had no particular talent in that field, it seemed like a great idea for coming up with originalContinue reading “Live and In Person”
One Last Throw of the Dice
Dearest Rachel – Well, my subscription to that dating website/app is about to expire, and I’m not sure I’m really going to miss it. It’s given me a fair amount of fodder to write you about, to be sure, but up until now, there hasn’t really been all that much in terms of real results.Continue reading “One Last Throw of the Dice”
490 Grains of Dust
Dearest Rachel – For all of Pastor Scott’s assertions that he’s never met any alleged skeptic who, when confronted with the challenge to ‘name one’ of the supposed many contradictions in the Bible, hasn’t backed down, there are a number of issues one can deal with when going through scripture. One of these is puttingContinue reading “490 Grains of Dust”
The Farce is Strong with This One
Dearest Rachel – Saturday, July 9 (3pm) I have so many potential titles for this letter, but it may have to wait to see how things play out, which means that this will need to carry over through tomorrow, because it’s not going to be able to be wrapped up today. However, today is notContinue reading “The Farce is Strong with This One”
Lowering the Boom
Dearest Rachel – Another day, another tranche of falsehoods to deal with and dismiss. I’ve already given up on the online dating scene, but I keep having to deal with the occasional zombie that crops up and refuses to go down. Fortunately, like with the walking dead themselves, they seem to be somewhat short onContinue reading “Lowering the Boom”
The Curtain Can’t Come Down Soon Enough
Dearest Rachel – In a different context, you’d be forgiven for thinking that I’m about to break my promise to myself and you about keeping politics to a minimum with a title like that – it’s the sort of sentiment anyone with our belief system (or even dealing with the struggling economy) has to beContinue reading “The Curtain Can’t Come Down Soon Enough”
Abandoned
Dearest Rachel – Last night’s dream was a weird one to wake up from. What I can remember of it had to do with the family and a handful of others (including animals) needing to get back from somewhere in central Missouri, and quickly. So, while most of the others got cars to drive homeContinue reading “Abandoned”
Palm Tuesday
Dearest Rachel – So, I stayed home yesterday in order to be with Daniel, and to make his day special. Far be it from me to claim that was a mistake; while there were still times that he seemed to need his space – and let me have mine – I think things worked outContinue reading “Palm Tuesday”
Three Last Chances
Dearest Rachel – I have to admit, I woke up yesterday determined to write to you about Father’s Day, and the fact that I felt like I was being ignored during it; Daniel had told me that my mom suggested he go out and get a card for me, which he didn’t get around toContinue reading “Three Last Chances”
Judgement Call
Dearest Rachel – “You’re judging me!” I can almost hear the hurt in the voice that I’ve never heard (and will never hear). Whether it’s an act or not, I really couldn’t say; I may not be a cinematic devotee, but I’ve always appreciated an authentic acting performance. The trouble is, while I can doContinue reading “Judgement Call”
The Whimper of Chance
Dearest Rachel – It’s not exactly axiomatic, but it should go without saying that it’s the misadventures in life that make some of the best stories. This wasn’t the kind of misadventure where the worst possible thing happened, so it won’t be the most ripping of yarns. And yet, it had all the potential toContinue reading “The Whimper of Chance”
Don’t Buy Dünderbeck a Hot Dog
Dearest Rachel – I confess to never having been a fan of love poetry; for one, it takes too much effort to cobble together something that fits meter and rhyme, and for the other, once assembled, it sounds cobbled together, slightly off and unnatural. As much as I enjoy the stories told by Shakespeare’s plays,Continue reading “Don’t Buy Dünderbeck a Hot Dog”
A Quick Change of Plans
Dearest Rachel – By rights, had everything worked out according to the original plan, Daniel and I should be re-packing again today. it’s a quick turnaround from last weekend, sure, but that’s when Memorial Day weekend falls, and we would traditionally drive down to the Nashville area to see Kevin. I’ve abandoned certain traditions sinceContinue reading “A Quick Change of Plans”
Folding the Hedge
Dearest Rachel – Every so often, I come up with a title that needs some explanation; however, this is going to take some time for me to get to. Feel free to guess a little while I try to set the table here. I’ll give you a hint, though; it has absolutely nothing to doContinue reading “Folding the Hedge”
No Substitute
Dearest Rachel – You know, if you were still here, I wouldn’t have anything to do with social media. It’s just no substitute for the real thing. But you aren’t, and I do. It’s not ideal, but you work with what you’re given. I was woken up this morning at twenty to six by theContinue reading “No Substitute”
Long Term Plans
Dearest Rachel – Well, wouldn’t you know it. Just yesterday, I was saying how I need to be telling you a bit more about Yvonne, and last night, she comes out and asks me some hard questions. So, it looks like I need to talk about her at this point. I will say that timeContinue reading “Long Term Plans”
Not Encouraging
Dearest Rachel – There are times when I have to remind myself that I shouldn’t be pinning too much hope in this whole online dating thing; it’s just for entertainment purposes (and maybe for a little something to write to you about). Other days, it’s perfectly obvious that’s what it is. Yesterday was one ofContinue reading “Not Encouraging”
‘Dear’ in the Headlights
Dearest Rachel – I have to confess that I’ve all but given up on watching Doctor Who any longer. Not because it’s ‘gone woke,’ like some people claim. Heck, I’ve enjoyed Jody Whittaker’s distaff take on the role: she comes across as the team mom for a fairly crowded TARDIS, much like Peter Davison’s Fifth,Continue reading “‘Dear’ in the Headlights”
Hitting the Wall
Dearest Rachel – Long-distance runners talk about the concept of ‘hitting the wall,’ both in practice and in competition. There is apparently a point at which your body basically tells you, “That’s as far as I can go, kiddo. I’m tired, I’m sore, I’m gonna give up, and I recommend you do the same, becauseContinue reading “Hitting the Wall”
Closing My Eyes
Dearest Rachel – I don’t remember where I heard about it – probably in the Readers’ Digest when I was a kid; I spent a lot of time going through my grandparents’ cache of them, with particular emphasis on their monthly features on ‘Laughter, the Best Medicine’ and ‘Toward More Picturesque Speech’ – but thereContinue reading “Closing My Eyes”
How Can I Miss Her…
Dearest Rachel – I will occasionally wonder what things might have been like had our roles been reversed that awful day. After all, freak accidents don’t just occur to the risk-takers, or they wouldn’t be considered freak accidents. I went down that hill a few times myself – I even lost my phone during oneContinue reading “How Can I Miss Her…”
Messages in the Morning
Dearest Rachel – It’s six-thirty in the morning; I need to get up and prepare myself for the day. It’s ironic that it’s the weekend in which I have to wake up and be somewhere, while during the week, there’s never any rush (although I always feel the need to let the folks know whenContinue reading “Messages in the Morning”
Poisoned Dove
“·Listen [L Look; T Behold], I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. So be as ·clever [wise; shrewd; cunning] as ·snakes [serpents] and as ·innocent [harmless] as doves. Matthew 10:16, Expanded Bible Dearest Rachel – When I first signed up on the dating app, Jan had helped me put together a profile (although later on, she pointed out that I should not haveContinue reading “Poisoned Dove”
Itching Ears
Because the time will come when people will not ·listen to [put up with; endure] the ·true [sound; healthy] teaching but will ·find many more [gather around themselves; accumulate] teachers who ·please them [meet their needs/desires] by saying the things ·they want to hear [their ears itch for]. 2 Timothy 4:3, Expanded Bible Dearest RachelContinue reading “Itching Ears”
Pocket Veto
Dearest Rachel – I’ve been told that one way to keep a marriage fresh is to continue to treat each other as though you were still dating. Make an effort to keep winning your partner over; behave as if you were still young (to the best of your ability, of course – some things areContinue reading “Pocket Veto”
Crashing and Burning
Dearest Rachel – It’s the craziest thing, sometimes. The stories I hear from people online can be so impressive, until you look them up. And do they think I’m not going to? I’ve been chatting quite a bit today with E.C. She’s been asking me the sort of… interesting questions that one might ask onContinue reading “Crashing and Burning”
Blowing Up My Phone
Dearest Rachel – You’re probably confused by that title, aren’t you? Yesterday I made a comment about the compulsion to throw my phone overboard, and today, it sounds like I’m talking about detonating it. What gives, you might be asking? Well, honey, that’s not what it means when your phone ‘blows up’ these days. ItContinue reading “Blowing Up My Phone”
Turing Tested, NOT Approved
Dearest Rachel – The weird thing about this morning’s letter, was that I barely covered the topic I’d originally set out to discuss with you. I kind of got sidetracked by the fact that up until now I hadn’t talked much about certain things you enjoyed, simply because I didn’t really share your enthusiasm forContinue reading “Turing Tested, NOT Approved”
Date, Marry or Dump?
Dearest Rachel – Sometimes, it’s not so much the dream that’s memorable, as the idea behind it that I need to write down and tell you about. I’ve already pretty much lost the specific images that I saw, but the concept, well, that’s worth talking about. For all that we enjoyed watching various YouTubers playingContinue reading “Date, Marry or Dump?”
You’re Going With That?
Dearest Rachel – You know that I try to avoid politics in these letters if I can; we always understood each other and our political positions (although I couldn’t help but be amused as you and Daniel changed position around me during that last year and a half, taking me from being the most conservativeContinue reading “You’re Going With That?”
Here We Go Again
Dearest Rachel – This will probably not come as a great shock to you; it didn’t to me, although I was nevertheless disappointed to see it happen. After all, Ruby had gone so long without being too clingy (I tended to chalk up her contacting me on a daily basis as being a case ofContinue reading “Here We Go Again”
The Visitation
Dearest Rachel – I’m told there was a French king who had been raised Protestant – a dangerous thing to be, when the deeply Catholic country was persecuting Huguenots, and your faith was pretty much inextricably linked to your patriotism (one more reason America deliberately decoupled church and state). Upon the death of his predecessor,Continue reading “The Visitation”
Why So Serious?
Dearest Rachel – These words, spoken (and written) by pop culture’s favorite nihilist, the Joker, seem so innocuous in print. Indeed, I’ve long known a more homespun, friendly-sounding take on this perspective, thanks to being a fan of Walt Kelly’s Pogo: “Don’t take life so seriously, son. It ain’t nohow permanent.” But hey, everything soundsContinue reading “Why So Serious?”
Laying Out a Fleece
Dearest Rachel – Considering all the concerns I’ve voiced about Ruby, you’ll probably find it weird but we still haven’t made arrangements to at least meet face-to-face and determine once and for all whether we’re right for each other. That’s the trouble with that kind of distance; even though we’re still in the same county,Continue reading “Laying Out a Fleece”
So… Darned… Close
Dearest Rachel – I’ll give Ruby credit, she’s making the effort to keep in touch with me, contacting me every day while she’s supposedly down in Phoenix with her siblings. She’s also informed me that she’s told her mom (who I guess is down there with her siblings? In which case, shouldn’t she have mentionedContinue reading “So… Darned… Close”
Déjà Vu
Dearest Rachel – This weekend is going to be considerably quieter than the last few. After two weeks in a row, the girls won’t be coming over tonight (or next Friday, for that matter, if I recall correctly). It’s how scheduling goes, and that’s fine. I can’t expect them to be here every single week,Continue reading “Déjà Vu”
On Being ‘The Grenade’
Dearest Rachel – I’ve spoken to certain people who find themselves amused at some of the stories I tell you about my life lived after you, particularly those having to do with finding a successor to you (if you’d want to call her that). It offers a measure of comfort to me that, if IContinue reading “On Being ‘The Grenade’”
There’s No Way to be Subtle
Dearest Rachel – I’ve spun more than a few tales about my misadventures – and misgivings – in attempting to find romance via online sites and apps. Given that I have no idea who I might or might not be dealing with out here in cyberspace, I’m moving at a snail’s pace, because I’ve comeContinue reading “There’s No Way to be Subtle”
I Never Dealt with Nightmares
Dearest Rachel – I should tell you upfront that Daniel does not seem to approve of Ruby. Every time the phone ‘thrums’ to indicate a message from her when he’s in earshot, he gives me a sideways glance as if to ask ‘her again?’ even if he doesn’t always say it aloud – which heContinue reading “I Never Dealt with Nightmares”
Spaces In Our Togetherness
Dearest Rachel – These days, Ruby will occasionally ask me whether I’ve spoken to another woman, especially if I don’t contact – or respond to – her on Google Chat quickly enough. Maybe she’s worried that she’ll lose me to someone else too early in the game, in which case I suppose I should beContinue reading “Spaces In Our Togetherness”
Real Life Rickrolling
Dearest Rachel – I would like to think that I wouldn’t have to explain the concept of the rickroll to anyone on the internet. Anyone who’s been out here any length of time has probably been conned into clicking a link that took them to Mr. Astley’s music video, and those who haven’t, really justContinue reading “Real Life Rickrolling”
When Wheedling Won’t Work
Dearest Rachel – When I first joined this dating app, Jeff (who’d met his wife on one a year or two back) warned me that I should prepare myself to face a hundred rejections or so before finding anybody. Surprisingly, that hasn’t happened thus far. But what has happened has pushed me very nearly toContinue reading “When Wheedling Won’t Work”
Too Early on a Saturday
Dearest Rachel – I don’t know if it’s that I haven’t acclimatized myself to the time zone, or just that I fell asleep too early while Daniel and Logan were in the family room watching this or that. Maybe it’s just the wind, whipping around outside the bedroom; since there are windows on three sidesContinue reading “Too Early on a Saturday”
Found
Dearest Rachel – You’ll recall me mentioning the other day when I was wandering around Basel how you’re never truly lost; that it’s just a matter of not being where you want to be. As a consequence, being ‘found’ isn’t the opposite of being lost; it’s just a matter of someone else realizing where youContinue reading “Found”
They Can’t All Be Gems
Dearest Rachel – I know I have permission to skip a day or two now and again, but that wasn’t how life was like when you were still here. There was rarely a day that went by that we didn’t talk to each other. I mean, there were occasions when you were out of town,Continue reading “They Can’t All Be Gems”
Spooky Stuff
Dearest Rachel – Yes, I know Halloween was over three weeks ago, but the days continue to get shorter, and the nights continue to get longer – and there are still spooky things that come out of the woodwork as time goes by. I woke up this morning with an idea in my head toContinue reading “Spooky Stuff”
Adhesiveness in Anytown
Dearest Rachel – Last night, after a few hours of gaming with Kevin, I found myself in conversation with another individual on the dating app. She’d sent me a smile, and while I generally tend to limit my connections to those residing here in Chicago and the surrounding suburbs, I couldn’t quite figure out whereContinue reading “Adhesiveness in Anytown”
Letters to Rachel 