Dearest Rachel – Weekends are the ‘slow news days’ of my life; and while we need days like that on a regular basis, it does cut into anything that I might have to tell you about. There is the fact that five out of six of us managed to get together yesterday afternoon at aContinue reading “Susan Amid the Wreckage”
Tag Archives: death
from Rachel: Time Gives Way to Eternity
Please read Revelation 20:1-6 and answer the following questions: Where will Satan be during the thousand-year reign of Christ? “the Abyss” Many people of God will be martyred during the terrible time of tribulation. List everything this segment of Scripture tells you about them. “They had been beheaded because of their testimony for Jesus (20:4),Continue reading “from Rachel: Time Gives Way to Eternity”
When Those Who’ve Lost Let Go
Dearest Rachel – I promise you, I have a recap story for you from our adventures knocking around Boston, and I will gather to them soon enough (as soon as I’ve put together the videos I shot as we walked from what felt like one end of the city to the other, but really onlyContinue reading “When Those Who’ve Lost Let Go”
Oh Boy…
Dearest Rachel – I remember being at the hospital while the news was breaking about John Lennon being shot. I wasn’t at the hospital he was being taken to, of course; this was when my grandfather was being taken to be seen about what turned out to be a fatal case of lung cancer (andContinue reading “Oh Boy…”
Cruel Silence
Dearest Rachel – There are times when I imagine you, like my paternal grandfather before you (who you never met, although I think you met my grandmother), either filling in for Saint Peter or standing alongside him at his post, welcoming the new arrivals as they appear at the gates each constructed of individual pearls.Continue reading “Cruel Silence”
Returning to Collect
Dearest Rachel – I’m not sure whether I heard the car approach – I certainly didn’t recognize it, if I paid any attention to it at all – as it pulled up to your parents’ house and you got out to look through the place one more time. I watched through the immense picture windowContinue reading “Returning to Collect”
Stones for the Squirrel
Dearest Rachel – Some days, there’s just not that much out of the ordinary that’s happening to me personally to tell you about, so I have to rely on the news, or a dream, or just something that comes to mind, to tell you about on a given day. It’s less, in terms of theContinue reading “Stones for the Squirrel”
Maybe We Don’t WANT Closure
Dearest Rachel – Happy fifty-fifth birthday, honey. This is it; the day we set you adrift the way you wanted to be. This is why we’re here – right down to why we’ve waited so long – we wanted to make sure your closest friends were here to share this moment. Given how long it’sContinue reading “Maybe We Don’t WANT Closure”
When It All Came Together, and It All Fell Apart
Dearest Rachel – I’ve been meaning to write you on this topic for some time, although I’ve always rather hesitated about doing so. It’s always seemed both bigger than I can cover in a single post (although I don’t seem to have a problem with a couple thousand words about what happened the weekend beforeContinue reading “When It All Came Together, and It All Fell Apart”
Defying the Pattern
Dearest Rachel – You’re probably well aware that the human mind sees patterns where none actually exist. It’s how concepts like pareidolia come into being; we see a pair of similar marks balanced atop a slightly larger mark, and instinctively imagine a face (two eyes and a mouth; there may be more, but that’s quiteContinue reading “Defying the Pattern”
No One Expects…
Dearest Rachel – And to think, the Brits (in the form of Monty Python’s Flying Circus) would make fun of the Spanish Inquisition. As it happens, they went through their own periods of attempting to root out heretics. And while I’m sure their methods weren’t like the one we faced in my dream, I dareContinue reading “No One Expects…”
from Rachel: If He Does Not
In your opinion, what is most amazing about the event in Daniel 3:24-30? “Only their bonds burned, and there was not even a smell of smoke or fire on them.” Scenario A: “We can be delivered from the fire.”Dividend: “Our faith is built.”Scenario B: “We can be delivered through the fire.”Dividend: “Our faith is refined.”ScenarioContinue reading “from Rachel: If He Does Not”
Won’t Be’s in Heaven
Dearest Rachel – We’ve been taught since time immemorial that everything that exists as part of our ecosystem does so for a reason. Call it God’s plan or the great circle of life as you will, but supposedly, every organism (or family of organisms) serves a purpose within the natural world, even if we don’tContinue reading “Won’t Be’s in Heaven”
Restoration Comedy
Dearest Rachel – I’ve been told that, in classical literature, a tragedy is a tale where virtually everyone winds up dead, while in a comedy, everyone ends up married, so I figured I was dealing with the latter in last night’s dream. To be sure, the only ones that ended up so were you andContinue reading “Restoration Comedy”
Eggshell Anniversary
Dearest Rachel – The other day, when Lars called to arrange a day on which we might meet to walk this week – despite the fact that we’ll be heading out of town together this weekend, and will have plenty of time to walk, be it through airports, over beaches or from one end ofContinue reading “Eggshell Anniversary”
Scorch Marks and Smoke Wisps
Dearest Rachel – Toni asked me the other day, upon realizing that the anniversary of your accident was coming up soon, if I was planning to do anything that day to honor it and you. Now, when I read that sentence after writing it, it makes it sound like she was asking if she couldContinue reading “Scorch Marks and Smoke Wisps”
Short on Time
Dearest Rachel – I’m short on time to talk with you today, honey; I’ll be walking with Lars, so I’ll need to come up with something to tell you about in the few hours between now and then, while also making sure I get a workout in and get over to the ‘office.’ Starting theContinue reading “Short on Time”
Dreamscape Anime
Dearest Rachel – Another absurdly early morning, another series of very strange visuals as I found myself swimming towards the surface of consciousness. I’m not sure if it’s worth telling you about, since there doesn’t seem to be much in the way of a coherent storyline to it all, but hey, you always used toContinue reading “Dreamscape Anime”
Street Cred
Dearest Rachel – Well, it’s happened again; I don’t know if you’ve found out about Josh, as I don’t know how time works up there, nor how new entrants are welcomed by those who have gone before. If it’s just a case of being ‘asleep’ until summoned by the trumpet at the end of days,Continue reading “Street Cred”
Pondering This Morning’s Earworm
Dearest Rachel – It seems apropos of absolutely nothing, but that’s pretty much how earworms work; like dreams, they aren’t required – or even expected – to make much sense. And yet, in some ways, it gives one something to think about, even if it’s only the obvious (and somewhat unanswerable, given the previous statement)Continue reading “Pondering This Morning’s Earworm”
A Moment of Respect
Dearest Rachel – “Our people are our greatest asset.” I honestly don’t know if I’ve ever seen or heard it stated in those specific words, but in one variation or another, it’s a motto across the business world. And why wouldn’t it be, especially in a customer-facing business? Any interaction between staff and customer canContinue reading “A Moment of Respect”
Futile Dreams of Peace
Dearest Rachel – I don’t know enough about Indian history to know the specifics that prompted her demise, honey, but I know that Indira Gandhi was assassinated, just like her father-in-law, the supposedly beloved “great soul” Mahatma, and eventually her son Rajiv. However, last night found me at her side at some point in theContinue reading “Futile Dreams of Peace”
To Commemorate the Year Gone By
Dearest Rachel – It’s been three years now. You’d think I would know how to deal with these anniversaries by now, but I don’t. And I wonder if I ever will. At this point, it’s gotten to where I’m treating the moment as if it were a second New Year’s, a time to reflect on theContinue reading “To Commemorate the Year Gone By”
Exhausted by Everything
Dearest Rachel – For all that Dad insists that he’s “ready to go,” and he’s “so weak,” especially after being put through his paces in terms of exercise, the fact remains that he goes through with them and does them without complaint. Well, without much complaint, anyway; the bedsores on his backside, while slowly diminishing,Continue reading “Exhausted by Everything”
The Anachronistic Call
Dearest Rachel – It all felt so real in the moment, honey. Dreams often do, I guess; it’s why you used to tell me yours so many mornings, and why you would ask me if I’d had any in turn. It was a middle school field trip; we were visiting a local theme park, althoughContinue reading “The Anachronistic Call”
When Everything is Trivial…
Dearest Rachel – While the crisis has passed for now – Dad is settled in a nearly convalescent home, and undergoing physical and occupational therapy, such that he neither requires nor necessarily event wants too many people around him for too long thereafter, as he’s too tired to socialize, and will say so – thereContinue reading “When Everything is Trivial…”
A Fever Dream of Dream
Dearest Rachel – I think I may have the bed piled with too many ‘reindeer skins.’ Oh, it’s a comfort in the evening, when it’s just a little too cold to just sit around in, but by two o’clock this morning, I was waking up in a sweat. Then, again, it may have been theContinue reading “A Fever Dream of Dream”
Strangely Familiar, and Yet…
Dearest Rachel – Well, honey… here we go again. I can see his skin stretched across his collarbone and rib cage as he lies in his hospital bed. He’s down to skin and bones, but at least his salt and sugar levels are down to normal – or at least considerably more normal than theyContinue reading “Strangely Familiar, and Yet…”
To Fear the Day Ahead
Dearest Rachel – It’s not yet four in the morning; while, being Friday, I have every intention in my mind to head out and exercise, I’m not ready to do so. And it’s not just because the facility won’t be open for an hour an a half, or that I’m dealing with the usual squabblesContinue reading “To Fear the Day Ahead”
For the Last Time
Dearest Rachel – There’s a saying that has made its way around the internet. It doesn’t appear to be a quote, per se; probably because it hasn’t ever been structured in a particularly pithy manner so as to make it properly quotable. But that doesn’t make the sentiment any less poignant. It states that, thereContinue reading “For the Last Time”
Commemoration, Commiseration… and Commitments
Dearest Rachel – Today, I probably should be telling you about the events of the annual Halloween substitute that we have at the church (hey, if the real Halloween refuses to move around such that it falls on a Saturday, when it’s easier for the kids to go around gathering candy from houses in broadContinue reading “Commemoration, Commiseration… and Commitments”
The Final Return
Dearest Rachel – He’s about a month late from his usual schedule, but it would seem that Kevin has made one last trip back up here. This time, however, is not for a visit, but to stay here permanently. The thing is, he was a native son of the area, growing up in the DesContinue reading “The Final Return”
Picking the Lyrics Apart
Dearest Rachel – I want you to know that I’m not trying to avoid your memory – heck, if I was, would I be writing to you every day like this? – but there’s only so much I can take of going through my offline music library, where I’m guaranteed to encounter one of ‘our’Continue reading “Picking the Lyrics Apart”
Caught Unprepared
Dearest Rachel – So last night was the annual meeting of the volunteer leaders in preparation for this year’s Awana Sparks club. Lots of heartening news; including the fact that we have enough volunteers for each team to have four or five leaders, while at the same time, we have enough kids already registered suchContinue reading “Caught Unprepared”
Dangerous Race
Dearest Rachel – I need to get this written down quickly, as the details – such as there were – are already starting to fade from my memory. That’s the trouble with dreams; trying to put them into a story form is like trying to get a soap bubble to hold still so you canContinue reading “Dangerous Race”
Never the Target Audience
Dearest Rachel – There was another thing that came to mind for a topic to discuss with you yesterday morning as I was working out, but since I had the actual events of the day (and the attitude associated with them) to describe to you already, I set it aside for the time. But sinceContinue reading “Never the Target Audience”
“When?”
Dearest Rachel – There’s a scene near the beginning of the movie Blazing Saddles which serves as an establishing character moment for Gene Wilder’s Waco Kid. After being offered something for breakfast by Sheriff Bart (and turning it down, claiming “food makes me sick”), he takes yet another long swig from his whiskey bottle, muchContinue reading ““When?””
Words Before the Battle
Dearest Rachel – Last night’s dream, as far as I can recall, appeared to have me in the role of Neville Longbottom, giving a St. Crispian’s style speech before the Battle of Hogwarts. Most of what I can remember is starting from the top of a table in the Great Hall, and continuing to moveContinue reading “Words Before the Battle”
The Shock of the News
Dearest Rachel – I have to admit, the first thing that crossed my mind when I heard the news was “Who’s going to tell Anastasia?” His Ukrainian girlfriend, who he met online through TikTok, had been a source of friction between the two of us, but she was the first thing I thought of whenContinue reading “The Shock of the News”
from Rachel: Word of Life
What unique title does John give Jesus in verse 1? The “Word” of “life”. Why do you think John refers to Jesus as the Word? Give this some thought even if you’ve never been given a formal explanation. “Jesus said He had not come to abolish the Law, but to fulfill it. He was theContinue reading “from Rachel: Word of Life”
The Fear of Possible Patterns
Dearest Rachel – So… now it’s 2023. Soon, it will have been two years since the accident that took you from us… and in a couple of months, it will have been another two years since your mom’s passing… and yet another two years since your dad, when this all started. I don’t know aboutContinue reading “The Fear of Possible Patterns”
How Long Until You Knew?
Dearest Rachel – Just think, it was only yesterday that I was congratulating myself for having reacclimatized to the local time zone. I really should have known better. But last night, I had already woken up once, at three, so I was mildly disgusted with myself about that. At the same time, my head wasContinue reading “How Long Until You Knew?”
The Value of Sacrifice
Dearest Rachel – It may have been last night’s game of Civilization between Kevin and myself, which, upon being joined on the line by Erin, I found myself explaining my mild fascination about history, and the great men (and women) throughout it that helped to sculpt the world into the shape it is in, forContinue reading “The Value of Sacrifice”
La Ofrenda Inadvertida
Dearest Rachel – It’s the sort of thing to only think of talking about today, on what would be the Día de Muertos if we were of the sort to commemorate that. Certain concepts only come to mind at certain times of the year, prompted by seasons or holidays, and this is definitely one ofContinue reading “La Ofrenda Inadvertida”
On Seth and Cain
Dearest Rachel – These characters aren’t the ones I saw as I was climbing from the depths of sleep in the chair in the family room the other night. Their living conditions were most likely as primitive as those you might picture from the stone age, whereas I envisioned scenes from a mansion with aContinue reading “On Seth and Cain”
Even Magic Can Only Do So Much
Dearest Rachel – I already had a topic to write you about today – in fact, it was already a day behind, about yesterday’s events – but when one wakes up with a certain song in one’s head, and fragments of a dream lingering in one’s mind, one needs to get that written down beforeContinue reading “Even Magic Can Only Do So Much”
No Footprints
Dearest Rachel – It seems that I should write you about today’s (or rather, this weekend’s, since I get to listen to it three times over) sermon, because it hits fairly close to home, especially for the two of us. Not that it isn’t common to all mankind, but given where you are, there’s aContinue reading “No Footprints”
Personal Public Events
Dearest Rachel – Went to bed last night thinking about weddings, honey. The group had been brainstorming ideas over text messages about what to do this evening, or more specifically, what to eat, since I’d been talking about breaking in the new appliances (and despite MatPat’s insistence that it can be done, I have noContinue reading “Personal Public Events”
Would That It Had Meant Something
Dearest Rachel – This isn’t the day for me to be dwelling on having lost you – at least, no more than any other day. There are others who are supposed to be honored today, none of whom I know –or rather, have known – personally. It’s only recently that the difference between today andContinue reading “Would That It Had Meant Something”
My Fate in Dream
Dearest Rachel – Well, that was disconcerting… and downright terrifying in its plausibility, to a certain extent. What’s particularly strange is how calm –almost indifferent – I was to my own fate. The dream effectively started with my applying for a renewed drivers license (although, to be sure, the place didn’t look a lot likeContinue reading “My Fate in Dream”
Have You Seen Him?
Dearest Rachel – You probably remember how, with every year end, I would make a habit of picking up the year-end wrapup from Life magazine (and later, after that one folded, Time magazine), covering ‘the year in pictures.’ Some of them may have been thrown out in the course of the purge, but I thinkContinue reading “Have You Seen Him?”
How Close the End?
Dearest Rachel – It is taken as axiomatic truth that, from the moment we’re born, we begin to die. Indeed, there are times we can sense it through our own aches and pains. If we’re lucky, we begin with all of our cells holding perfect copies of our DNA (and even that isn’t guaranteed –Continue reading “How Close the End?”
Guess He Needed Another Hug
Dearest Rachel – Long ago, in my late teens or early twenties, I came to the conclusion that suicide was essentially a very selfish act. Those who did so, did so without taking into account how others would react to it. Each of us has an effect on the lives of others, and to cutContinue reading “Guess He Needed Another Hug”
The Payoff
Dearest Rachel – After pondering last night’s dream, I found myself wondering about how, exactly, I would be expected to make good on such a wager in the first place. For that matter, for the other guy – whoever the heck he was – to even expect me to do so would have required himContinue reading “The Payoff”
Awaiting the Verdict
Dearest Rachel – It’s seven a.m. Chompers wakes me up with whine; he’s back to his old schedule (after a fashion), and I pick him up, and take him out front. He pees the length of the sidewalk connecting the front stoop to the driveway, and I discover as I set him into his harnessContinue reading “Awaiting the Verdict”
Sirius Declining
Dearest Rachel – Lately, whenever I take Chompers out for his last pee of the night, I find myself looking up at the sky. Down Wilke Road, to the south, hangs one star that shines brighter than all the others: Sirius. The dog star. It’s the star that gives ‘the dog days of August’ theirContinue reading “Sirius Declining”
Everything Looks Different in the Morning – But What About the Afternoon?
Dearest Rachel – One of the things they talked about at Grief Share last night was the difference between actively pursuing suicide, and the simple desire to no longer live. The latter is an attitude of “if you were to take me, too, God, I wouldn’t mind,” and is a fairly normal reaction to theContinue reading “Everything Looks Different in the Morning – But What About the Afternoon?”
This Is Only A Test
Dearest Rachel – So this morning, as I finally set out to walk across town to the ‘office’ at my folks’ place, I was mildly startled by the slowly rising wail of klaxons in the air, eventually surrounding me on all sides until I was very nearly at the (all but deserted) downtown area. It’sContinue reading “This Is Only A Test”
When the Veil Pulls Back
Dearest Rachel – I wonder if, at the moment of your passing, you are exposed to all the answers. Does the Lord sees fit to, at the moment which you can no longer do anything about it, release to you the wisdom of the ages, and the minutiae of how His plan is meant toContinue reading “When the Veil Pulls Back”
Loaning the Lawnmower
Dearest Rachel – Whenever you are able, ·do [L do not withhold] good to people who ·need help [or deserve it]. If you have what your neighbor asks for, don’t say, “Come back later. I will give it to you tomorrow.” Proverbs 3:27,28, Expanded Bible I’ve already been working on a letter for you, which when I finish it will beContinue reading “Loaning the Lawnmower”
The Thirty-First of the Month
Dearest Rachel – I never really gave much thought to the thirty-first of the month. Yes, certain things occurred on the last day of the month – bills to pay, income transferred, that sort of thing that was more or less routine – but nothing that could be considered upsetting in any way. But theseContinue reading “The Thirty-First of the Month”
The Last Will and Testament of Sir Silk Cerise
“July 26, 2011 “Sir Silk Cerise – Last Will & Testament “I bequeath unto my family: a tear on their cheek, a hollow in their hearts, and my thanks for over thirteen years of love and kindness. “At 8:45, Dr. Barclay gave Sir Silk his shots to put him to sleep (He watched us, waggingContinue reading “The Last Will and Testament of Sir Silk Cerise”
Can’t Recall The Verse
Dearest Rachel – I don’t often set my alarm these days, but it’s necessary on Saturdays, in order to ensure I’m there on time for the men’s Bible study (not to mention the fact that, on the first Saturday of the month – because last week was a holiday – the guys organizing it fixContinue reading “Can’t Recall The Verse”
We’ll All Be Skeletons
Dearest Rachel – Today was too cool to walk around in thin white cotton, so I decided to wear one of my black shirts. Not sure why I picked this one: I’m actually thinking this might be the first time I’ve worn it in public. I know you thought we might all wear it togetherContinue reading “We’ll All Be Skeletons”
Aunt Ellie
Dearest Rachel – So I got myself home early the other afternoon to find a letter to ‘Jo Brunner’ in the mail. These days, I don’t generally bother with any mail addressed to either of your parents; rather than bothering with them, I just toss them in the recycling bin straightaway. I mean, if it’sContinue reading “Aunt Ellie”
No One to Reminisce With
Dear Rachel – I don’t know if you’re aware of it – I realize that there are a lot of people to meet and greet up there in heaven, and a hundred days is probably not enough to even familiarize yourself with the smallest portion of your new-found eternal family members – but my AuntContinue reading “No One to Reminisce With”
The Last Visit
Dearest Rachel – Well, it’s over. Chompers survived through his final hydrotherapy session. For once (after several weeks of Erin’s urgings), I even remembered to bring treats for him, to reward him for getting there, for letting the girls push him around in the pool, and for enduring the indignities of being dried off afterwards,Continue reading “The Last Visit”
As I Stood at the Top of the Hill
My dearest, darling Rachel, my heart, my soul – This was not supposed to happen. You and Daniel were supposed to take one more slide down the tubing run, and then, exhausted from the climb up, we would say our goodbyes to Camp Awana for the day, and we would drive home. Maybe we’d pickContinue reading “As I Stood at the Top of the Hill”
Letters to Rachel 