Dearest Rachel – I’ve been writing to you a lot this past week about our difficulties in getting ourselves acclimated to our home time zone; it’s just under a week now, and we’re still not there yet. Compare that to our trip out, where we basically fell in line with the local time after aContinue reading “Still Not There Yet”
Tag Archives: parenting
Cleaning vs. Coddling
Dearest Rachel – This is the sort of thing I actually feel silly writing to you about. It’s something that never used to get under my skin, if for no other reason than that it wasn’t mine to necessarily concern myself with. And besides, if I did make a complaint about it, it would justContinue reading “Cleaning vs. Coddling”
To Travel With Another
Dearest Rachel – Ever since the accident which took you “home” at the end of a day trip in the midst of the Covid lockdowns, you’re aware that I’ve been doing (and telling you about) a lot of traveling. These are things we always meant to do together one day, but were precluded from doingContinue reading “To Travel With Another”
You Can’t Always Finish The Job
Dearest Rachel – You might recall how last week, when I was struggling (unsuccessfully, as it turned out) to keep from catching whatever it was that Daniel had been dealing with since before the weekend began, I was also trying to remember about a commitment I thought I remembered making, but was unable to recallContinue reading “You Can’t Always Finish The Job”
Health Concerns
Dearest Rachel – Normally, when I wake up of a morning, the house (at least, the portion within earshot) is quiet as a tomb. Even the fact that Logan gets up early enough to start his workday doesn’t register with me. Maybe it’s because his upstairs room that he confines himself to during working hoursContinue reading “Health Concerns”
Meanwhile, Back Home…
Dearest Rachel – I just stuffed the bags back into the car behind my driver’s seat again this morning. Normally, I’ve got this rotation of two of the many (most of which I either disposed of or gave away) cloth grocery bags you left behind, for when I stop at Aldi – either one, asContinue reading “Meanwhile, Back Home…”
Food at Home
Dearest Rachel – It’s so memetic that there isn’t a single iconic image to represent it; all there is to it is a basic script. Child asks for restaurant food (usually from a low-grade fast-food place – and yes, I know that’s something of a redundancy), to which the mom replies that “we have foodContinue reading “Food at Home”
His Opinion Matters
Dearest Rachel – I don’t remember who told me this, specifically, but in the immediate aftermath of your departure, I was advised not to make any major rash decisions in my life. No major purchases, no attempts at pursuing ‘Megumi’ (who hadn’t been given that name at that point, let alone had her criteria fleshedContinue reading “His Opinion Matters”
Constructive Notice
Dearest Rachel – This morning, when I woke up and reached for my phone (to see what time it is, honest! I’m not gonna look through my news feed until I know I’m not going to go back to sleep, and need to use the washroom. Yes, that happened this time around, and yes, itContinue reading “Constructive Notice”
Cheaper Than Miami
Dearest Rachel – It so happens that, not only have Daniel and I been eating out a bit more than usual lately, but we’ve been making a point of checking out places we’ve never been to before. Moreover, several places have been unapologetically… let’s just say ‘carnivorous,’ and add that one of the places wasContinue reading “Cheaper Than Miami”
He Is Not the Third Wheel
Dearest Rachel – This morning, on the final day of the convention, we decided to pop for the brunch offered by the Hyatt. Unlike the Embassy, everything here is à la carte, rather than being a part of the the amenities that come from renting a room here. Not sure why, other than I supposeContinue reading “He Is Not the Third Wheel”
Hoover Parenting
Dearest Rachel – It should hardly come as breaking news that, with a few exceptions, I’m no fan of leftovers. There’s something decidedly distasteful about being obliged to eat more of the same meal you couldn’t finish the day or two before, simply because if you don’t, it’s going to be forgotten about in theContinue reading “Hoover Parenting”
Down to the Two of Us
Dearest Rachel – As weird as it sometimes is to have Daniel’s friend Logan rooming with us, there are times when he’s almost indispensable. While he hasn’t been the influence toward improving Daniel’s work ethic (but what’s he going to be able to do that will earn him more than his portfolio already does?), he’sContinue reading “Down to the Two of Us”
Watching the Watchers
Dearest Rachel – I’m a little reluctant to tell you about the events (such as there were between Daniel and I) of last night; I don’t like to talk about politics here, even though we didn’t shy from such discussions in life. While the three of us tended to be on various spots within theContinue reading “Watching the Watchers”
Stocking Up Before Getting Socked In
Dearest Rachel – It looks like there’s about to be some interesting – in the sense of that famous Chinese curse – weather coming our way. Yesterday morning, the folks warned me that we could end up with between eight and ten inches of snow in the next twenty-four hours; as a result, they hadContinue reading “Stocking Up Before Getting Socked In”
Confidently Wrong
Dearest Rachel – One of the things about working the booth on Sundays is that you see things behind the curtain. That’s not to say that’s either a good or bad thing; while there’s something to be said about being a part of something decidedly Larger Than Yourself, this occasionally means you find yourself watchingContinue reading “Confidently Wrong”
Routine But Rare
Dearest Rachel – I sometimes wonder what little things I might say or do will happen to resonate with someone, without me ever knowing it. To be sure, everybody makes offhand comments from time to time; sometimes, one of them lands in an onlooker’s mind, and stays there for the rest of their lives. ByContinue reading “Routine But Rare”
They Don’t Make It Like They Do Over There
Dearest Rachel – It’s wild for me to realize at this point that I’ve now been back home for almost (but still not quite yet!) as long as I was abroad on that Asian cruise this year. And while I’ve still not gotten around to getting myself a deep-dish pizza like I said I wasContinue reading “They Don’t Make It Like They Do Over There”
from Rachel: A Heritage from the Lord
Please read the [entirety of Psalm 127]… then list everything it says involving family. “Sons are a heritage; children are a reward; sons of youth are like arrows; a man with many is happy; children bring honor.” How did Christ blow the doors off our concept of family (Matthew 12:46-50) “He taught that fellow believersContinue reading “from Rachel: A Heritage from the Lord”
In Every Direction At Once
Dearest Rachel – There are days when, as I sit down in front of the computer to write to you, I find myself dealing with writers’ block, even with – possibly even especially when – considering the events of the day or so past. Some days, there just isn’t much of interest going on; thereContinue reading “In Every Direction At Once”
He Wants No Part of It
Dearest Rachel – The other day, I observed about how Daniel doesn’t really seem to have much of a handle on adulting. Oh, he can manage a thing or two when the chips are down; in fact, just this morning, he was calling the insurance company about the fender bender he got into a coupleContinue reading “He Wants No Part of It”
His Mother’s Son
Dearest Rachel – After making such a big deal of it last year, what with rediscovering your notes and observations during his first year with us (to be fair, it was a milestone at thirty, so that should have been expected), I almost let Daniel’s birthday slide a bit, as far as these letters areContinue reading “His Mother’s Son”
A Quiet, Empty House
Dearest Rachel – I really didn’t need to hurry home as fast as I did, but at the same time, I just didn’t see much point in staying at camp yesterday morning. The counselor training was about to wrap up for the week, so there wouldn’t be as much going on for me to beContinue reading “A Quiet, Empty House”
from Rachel: To Be Fruitful
What did God say to Peter to correct his prejudicial thinking? “Do not call anything impure that God has made clean.” What is the third dream most little girls have? “to be fruitful” How does Luke 1:5-7 offer biblical proof (that barrenness does not imply sinfulness)? “It states that Zachariah and Elizabeth were both uprightContinue reading “from Rachel: To Be Fruitful”
What We Would Watch
Dearest Rachel – Last night, while occupying my evening with YouTube in the bedroom while the boys were doing likewise in the family room, I was presented with an AdSense question that, at the moment, struck me as rather strange. It was asking me how often I watched horror films and series, with responses rangingContinue reading “What We Would Watch”
from Rachel: The Ancient Boundary Stone
Point 1: Even Christ had a blend of the “negative” and “positive” in His lineage. Point 2: We don’t have to “disinherit or dishonor” our physical lineage to fully “accept and abide in” our spiritual lineage. How did God identify Himself? Complete the verse: I am the Lord your God, who brought you out ofContinue reading “from Rachel: The Ancient Boundary Stone”
Dragged Along in My Wake
Dearest Rachel – Last night, I actually managed to stay up until 10:30 again, despite having first woken up at a little after four (although at that time, I did try to go back to sleep for an hour or so before conceding defeat and writing to you about it) and finding myself painfully awareContinue reading “Dragged Along in My Wake”
Speaking Love in the Wrong Language
Dearest Rachel – I really shouldn’t be grocery shopping when I’m planning to go out of town. Sure, a few snacks for the road – or even the hotel room; we always used to bring a supply from the local Japanese market when we would go to an anime convention, but that was often inContinue reading “Speaking Love in the Wrong Language”
Heart in My Throat
Dearest Rachel – It’s a well-known trope, experienced by parents from generations past; that of staying up, waiting for their children to come home, worrying about what may have happened to them while they were out. It’s not one that you and I experienced very often, as Daniel was – and still is – ordersContinue reading “Heart in My Throat”
from Rachel: Baby’s First Year Calendar
Dearest Rachel – Thirty years ago this evening, I came home to find you standing in the tub, mildly perplexed, with water running down your leg. Unlike your mom, you hadn’t had some sort of catastrophic breaking of your water; indeed, it was so minimal that you assumed it was no more than a prematureContinue reading “from Rachel: Baby’s First Year Calendar”
Thirty Years of Weaning
Dearest Rachel – So today, I’m dropping Daniel’s second tax installment payment in the mail, after having coached him yet again through the process of writing the check to the Department of Revenue. This evening, I’ll be walking him through setting up his first recurring tithe (well, not a ‘tithe’ per se, as it’s hardContinue reading “Thirty Years of Weaning”
Garbage Elves
Dearest Rachel – One of the more mundane challenges of dealing with life without you is that of being the one responsible for keeping the house clean. I can’t leave plates by the sink after a meal – at least, not for very long – lest the sauce and crumbs stick to the plate. IContinue reading “Garbage Elves”
A Shrill, Sharp Voice
Dearest Rachel – I woke up this morning at three, and I hardly need to tell you it was done unwillingly. Every so often, my body slides down that wedge pillow I use to keep my upper body propped up so that I’m sleeping flat on my back, which may be comfortable at first, butContinue reading “A Shrill, Sharp Voice”
Let Others Speak
Dearest Rachel – We didn’t have a word or a name to apply to it when we were in primary or secondary school, but we both understand and remember what it was like to be the ‘Hermione’ of our classes. You know the type; the one who had an answer (or at the very least,Continue reading “Let Others Speak”
from Rachel: The Reign of Uzziah
Isaiah 1:1 lists the four kings who reigned over Judah during Isaiah‘s life. Find their names in the list below and order their reigns 1, 2, 3, 4. “1. Uzziah“2. Jotham“3. Ahaz“4. Hezekiah” What did Isaiah call his wife? “the prophetess” The name Uzziah means “the Lord is my strength.” In what ways does thisContinue reading “from Rachel: The Reign of Uzziah”
Bonding Over Bills
Dearest Rachel – I think the meme was making the rounds before you had to go, so you might remember it. It was a simple snowclone script, starting with kids asking their school if they could be taught how to deal with their taxes, since this is information that would be necessary in their futureContinue reading “Bonding Over Bills”
Rent and Responsibility
Dearest Rachel – I have to say that, when the folks dropped us off after driving us home from the airport, it was really nice to have Logan there waiting for us, with lights on and everything. The fact that he’d also prepared dinner (southern-style baked macaroni and cheese) was an added plus. Yes, heContinue reading “Rent and Responsibility”
The Difference in Mornings
Dearest Rachel – It says something good about a hotel bed when you wake up in it thinking year at home in your own – although I think it may have had more to do with the ambient traffic noise that I’m so used to back there. It’s less complementary when you check the alarm,Continue reading “The Difference in Mornings”
The Fortress With Two Open Doors
Dearest Rachel – Evenings at the house, if they weren’t falling into something of a routine, and thereby likely to be considered to be ‘normal,’ are, I suspect, anything but that, when observed objectively. While it’s understandable that the boys would hang out together – and that I should stay out of their way, muchContinue reading “The Fortress With Two Open Doors”
Can’t Get Him Out of the House
Dearest Rachel – In a way, I think I’d prefer to talk to you about my dream from last night, but it was so much of a non sequitur that I wouldn’t be able to make much of a story out of it. Basically, it involved my dad and I trying to sell a litterContinue reading “Can’t Get Him Out of the House”
If The Lights Are On…
Dearest Rachel – I’ll be honest, the thing that pulls me away from work today (and it does so earlier than yesterday, so my working window is that much smaller) isn’t nearly as unusual as yesterday’s visit from Lisa to finalize the remodel. Although, now that I think about it, the reason I’m coming homeContinue reading “If The Lights Are On…”
Take Him Out of the Ba’al Game
Dearest Rachel – Sometimes, I don’t know what to do or think about Daniel. Some of the views he listens to and believes seem so ‘out there’ that I wonder where they come from. I realize just about any kind of crazy idea can be found out there on the internet, but how is itContinue reading “Take Him Out of the Ba’al Game”
Unable to Hover
Dearest Rachel – I don’t know about you, but there were times in my high school career when I would stay out fairly late. For instance, Friday nights during home football games, we in the band would be there for the halftime performance, and generally stayed around to play something when our team scored orContinue reading “Unable to Hover”
from Rachel: I Just Want Everyone to Love Me
Anyone else want to join me here? “Yep, I have belonged to the ‘just love me’ club too.” Looks like you agreed with the author that you are conflict-avoidant, risk-averse, and easily pushed (although you preferred the term ‘manipulated,’ for all the difference it made). You did not consider yourself easily-bullied, work-yourself-into-oblivion, or a bigContinue reading “from Rachel: I Just Want Everyone to Love Me”
There Will Be Other Chances
Dearest Rachel – Yesterday, the carpenters were supposed to mount the new medicine cabinet in the master bathroom. However, for whatever reason, they were missing the kit that would allow them to attach it flush against the wall, so they had to order that separately today. So, the ‘before’ picture I took in the morningContinue reading “There Will Be Other Chances”
Injudicious
Dearest Rachel – I told you before I’m trying to tiptoe around the subject of your absence with Daniel, even to the point of not sharing with him about Kerstin’s present for you. I’m not sure how and to what extent he feels your absence, especially after all this time. Occasionally I will ask howContinue reading “Injudicious”
Under the Weather
Dearest Rachel – It would seem that, somewhere along the way, Daniel has caught a cold. Neither of us knows from where, but it’s not an altogether unexpected situation; for all our love for the milder climate of spring and fall in comparison to the more extreme summer and winter May and November have neverContinue reading “Under the Weather”
This Was Different
Dearest Rachel – We’ve had mysterious visitations at our house from time to time since your passing. Some of them were serendipitous, like the balloon on my birthday. Some were deliberate, but anonymous, like the last couple of May Days. And then there was this: This was left on our doorstep yesterday afternoon. Someone hadContinue reading “This Was Different”
Light Infantry
Dearest Rachel – You would think that I would learn to check what can be done before stating categorically that it can’t. It’s how I avoided conflict with you for the longest time; you would think I would know to do likewise with Daniel. You would be wrong. There are certain aspects of the remodelingContinue reading “Light Infantry”
Late Night Talk
Dearest Rachel – It may have had something to do with our discussion en route to last night’s Bible study. I don’t know how the subject came up but Daniel and I were sharing about how late night talk show hosts just aren’t what they used to be. For my part, I never took aContinue reading “Late Night Talk”
Pliable v Stubborn
Dearest Rachel – Every day, there is a new member of the team to meet and deal with. The last couple of days have been spent dealing with the plumbing, first in the kitchen, then in the laundry room. Today, I’ve met with the electrician. His news isn’t particularly promising, but these are things thatContinue reading “Pliable v Stubborn”
Cleaning Out and Stocking Up
Dearest Rachel – I left the house this morning to the sound of the dishwasher firing up; I stopped at the local wholesale club to fill my tank (despite the high price tag – it’s the first time I’ve ever put $60 worth of gas in the car at one go – because I’m sureContinue reading “Cleaning Out and Stocking Up”
Déjà Vu
Dearest Rachel – This weekend is going to be considerably quieter than the last few. After two weeks in a row, the girls won’t be coming over tonight (or next Friday, for that matter, if I recall correctly). It’s how scheduling goes, and that’s fine. I can’t expect them to be here every single week,Continue reading “Déjà Vu”
Dodging Bullets
Dearest Rachel – There are times when I come up with better titles than I do letters. There’s not nearly that much to say about Daniel’s adventures, except that we’ve gotten away with a lot more than I expected we would. I won’t say that I’ve been fretting all week about it, but it’s beenContinue reading “Dodging Bullets”
What Can I Say?
Dearest Rachel – I suppose I really should come right out and admit it: I’m a morning person. I would always excuse myself by saying it was out of necessity that I was waking up as early as I did, that I needed to read and wash up before getting myself out the door toContinue reading “What Can I Say?”
Nothing Worth Celebrating
Dearest Rachel – Well, 2021 is finally over with, and good riddance to bad rubbish. I can’t imagine how a year could have been worse than this. Now, I’ve been admonished not to phrase my observation so, because it’s like tempting fate. Asking “how could things get worse?” is a surefire way to actually findContinue reading “Nothing Worth Celebrating”
The Summons
Dearest Rachel – So, for the first time since the pandemic and the lockdown took effect, we’ve gotten a notice from the county: a summons for jury duty. Actually, that’s not entirely true; you received one back in the spring, but I had to call them up and inform them that you would not beContinue reading “The Summons”
Officially Cleared
Dearest Rachel – I suppose it’s a sign of the times to say something along the lines of how there’s nothing so relieving to see than a chance to rejoin society… because your Covid test came back negative. I’ve made no secret of the fact that Daniel is noon too keen about the Covid vaccineContinue reading “Officially Cleared”
A Time to Show Up, A Time to Take Off
Dearest Rachel – So, last night was the final Awana club meeting for the calendar year. There was also a get together of the Grief Share group that Cheryl was hosting at her place, and I didn’t want to miss that. So after checking with Daniel as to how he felt about serving at SparksContinue reading “A Time to Show Up, A Time to Take Off”
The Quiet of a Sunday Morning
Dearest Rachel – I know the number of letters that I’ve written you have started to drop off since my return from overseas. Part of that is because I don’t consider things here to be all that interesting (or unfamiliar to you), and therefore worthy of comment. Part of it is because there are thingsContinue reading “The Quiet of a Sunday Morning”
Where’s the Lavender Soap?
Dearest Rachel – I’ve been told that the above expression, when mouthed, is indistinguishable from the phrase “where there’s life, there’s hope.” Beyond that, the title is only meaningful only insofar as its misreading. After venting my frustrations about what Daniel was or was not doing for himself in my absence, I think I managedContinue reading “Where’s the Lavender Soap?”
His Lifeline
Dearest Rachel – When I left on my trip nearly two weeks ago (has it only been that long? It seems like it’s been ages), I felt bad about leaving Daniel behind. But I’ve told you about his opinions toward the various Covid protocols, and that he wouldn’t be allowed into the airport with hisContinue reading “His Lifeline”
This Present Tense
Dearest Rachel – I’m sure you know that I want to have a good relationship with Daniel. I want to be able to encourage and praise him for the good that he does (even if it’s not in my presence). But how do I praise him, when I don’t find out about the good thatContinue reading “This Present Tense”
Problems With My Parenting
Dearest Rachel – So the folks have developed this routine of inviting us over almost every Thursday night. It’s really not unlike back in the days when you would be visiting your parents for a week, or those times you would go on women’s retreats, or any other point in which you were away fromContinue reading “Problems With My Parenting”
No Ticket to Oz
Dearest Rachel – It was storming terribly last night, dear. Our home security system by the front door was beeping like a combination alarm clock and a forklift stuck in reverse, and no amount of money going forward and typing in the password which shut it up for more than five minutes, before it wouldContinue reading “No Ticket to Oz”
Defiance and Discipline
Dearest Rachel – You know that I never liked being the disciplinarian in the family. I would get frustrated when Daniel wouldn’t – for whatever reason – comply with our requests (I got particularly upset about homework, as I had always wanted to get it out of the way when I was a student, andContinue reading “Defiance and Discipline”
Letters to Rachel 