Dearest Rachel – Well, it’s over. Chompers survived through his final hydrotherapy session. For once (after several weeks of Erin’s urgings), I even remembered to bring treats for him, to reward him for getting there, for letting the girls push him around in the pool, and for enduring the indignities of being dried off afterwards,Continue reading “The Last Visit”
Monthly Archives: March 2021
Worth a Try
Dearest Rachel – Well, bang goes that approach. Still, I had to try. I said I was going to just yesterday, and that I would report back. So, here’s my report: Chompers doesn’t like being in the bathroom with me any more than he likes me being in there showering by myself. You might thinkContinue reading “Worth a Try”
Faded Glow
Dearest Rachel – Some nights, getting Chompers to bed isn’t so difficult. Give him his pill, take him out, he pees, bring him in, set him down, give him his bedtime treats, and let him position himself (I am starting to learn that, regardless of what he’s truly capable of, he’d prefer to at leastContinue reading “Faded Glow”
Bathing vs Barking
Dearest Rachel – No, I’m not about to talk about bathing Chompers. I honestly don’t have a clue how to go about that, and if anything, I should probably set up an appointment with the groomers to deal with that at some point in the near future. After all, he needs his nails trimmed andContinue reading “Bathing vs Barking”
Havering
Dearest Rachel – The Scots have this perfectly charming word that, by dint of it belonging exclusively to them throughout the English-speaking word, speaks volumes about their level of self-awareness in comparison to the rest of us. ha·ver/ˈhāvər/ havered; past participle: havered; gerund or present participle: haveringto talk foolishly; babble. Evidently, foolish talk is soContinue reading “Havering”
No Room for an Empty Chair
Dearest Rachel – Once again, it was a near run thing. After dealing with this cold for the better (worse?) part of yesterday – and having the folks come over to deliver the food they were going to serve Daniel and me, as we were supposed to come over last night for dinner – IContinue reading “No Room for an Empty Chair”
from Rachel: The Colt
“In honor of Palm Sunday, here is a drama that was performed as First Baptist Church of Macomb in 1993, with my mother Jo in the part of Hilda.” I found this script among a number of papers on your side of the bedroom, sweetheart. I expect the reason you kept this was because ofContinue reading “from Rachel: The Colt”
What You’re Getting Into
Dearest Rachel – There’s a story about Sir Thomas More that, when approached by a prospective suitor for the hand of one of his daughters in marriage, he took the young man to the girl’s bedchamber, whereupon he stripped her naked before him so that he could see what he would be getting in theContinue reading “What You’re Getting Into”
Is This A Feature?
Dearest Rachel – You might recall a cartoon by the man I would refer to as “Uncle Gary” (since we shared the same last name, right down to the spelling with an “o” rather than an “e”): So, just a few minutes ago, at about one in the morning, I rolled out of my sickbedContinue reading “Is This A Feature?”
Cash in Cards
Dearest Rachel – I have to tell you, Jan has this thing about finding money in the houses she helps clean out and organize. She prides herself both on locating cash squirreled away in ridiculous places and in the fact that she lets her clients know about what she’s found. One of the first daysContinue reading “Cash in Cards”
Paranoia Over the Perfectly Normal
Dearest Rachel – So last night, I could feel the beginnings of a raw throat as I prepared for bed. And sure enough, this morning I woke up with a cough, sneezing and a runny nose. In a normal year, we would know that this would be the beginning of a garden variety 24-48 hourContinue reading “Paranoia Over the Perfectly Normal”
Ceding Territory
Dearest Rachel – Given the limited amount of human contact he engages in these days, I know full well I have no right to object to the days when his friend Logan comes over. The thing is, Logan himself has said – even since the accident – how “welcoming” our home is, and I certainlyContinue reading “Ceding Territory”
So Many Spinning Plates
Dearest Rachel – Home used to be a haven for me. I could come home after a hard day, even after spending a hour or two (or three) in a conference room being told by my boss that I was a worthless piece of, well, you know; that I was a huge disappointment to him,Continue reading “So Many Spinning Plates”
How Will I Know?
Dearest Rachel – You’d probably think from the title of this post, along with my habit of adding music to various missives as appropriate, that you’d be hearing the strains of Whitney Houston by now. Well, this isn’t that kind of topic; so… surprise?! The thing is, as I’ve been struggling to keep up withContinue reading “How Will I Know?”
When I Grow Up
Dearest Rachel – There was some confusion on Monday about whether Awana (and particularly, Sparks) was to be held that night. Our paper copy of the schedule had the 22nd as a day off, presumably due to Spring Break – granted, I was also assuming we’d be holding club every single week by now, soContinue reading “When I Grow Up”
Hūsker Dū?
Dearest Rachel – For all the games you collected during your childhood, and all those we added throughout our married life… …we never owned this one: Actually, I vaguely recall my grandmother and grandfather having a copy of this game – which amounted to a glorified version of Concentration, when all was said and doneContinue reading “Hūsker Dū?”
I Hope You Had the Time of Your Life
Dearest Rachel – It’s been two months, now. I wonder how many months it will be, or if it will ever happen, when I can see the 23th of the month as something other than “X months since the accident.” I also wonder if Jan has arranged her schedule to make sure I’m busy onContinue reading “I Hope You Had the Time of Your Life”
What is “All Right” Anymore?
Dear Rachel – I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it to you before in these letters, but mornings are just awful sometimes. Even when everything goes right. Chompers slept through the night – even letting me take a shower without waking up and whining, or worse, barking – and got everything out of his systemContinue reading “What is “All Right” Anymore?”
My Darling Raven
Dearest Rachel – I will never stop saying it, because it will never not be true: it’s the little things that you miss the most, now that you’re gone. This morning, I’m working in the booth at church. Not for the first time since you left, but every time has its little differences. This time,Continue reading “My Darling Raven”
from Rachel: Psalm 19:13
Dearest Rachel – There are times when I really wish I knew the context behind some of the notes you left behind for me to find – although that is surely not what you intended. Honestly, you seem to have kept a lot of secrets about yourself – things written down for nobody’s eyes butContinue reading “from Rachel: Psalm 19:13”
One Final Trip (part 1)
Dearest Rachel – I have yet to find a place that can open your phone up and download the data from it – the last place I went to only seemed to work on actual smart phones (which you forever resisted getting – guess that might have been a good plan at this point) –Continue reading “One Final Trip (part 1)”
Vernal Equinox
Dearest Rachel – Well, it’s not quite been two months, but we’ve reached something of a milestone. Spring is upon us – at least, according to the split of daytime to nighttime. I’ve been hearing about something called “Chicagohenge” wherein the rising and setting sun throw light westward and eastward respectively for blocks. I’d neverContinue reading “Vernal Equinox”
Chasing the Sandman
Dearest Rachel – Does it still count as sleep if, while your body lies there, recumbent in bed, your mind is spinning like tires stuck in the snow? Because I don’t know the answer; all I know is that I don’t want to get up yet. The girls came over last night, just to hangContinue reading “Chasing the Sandman”
Charity Begins at the Triangle
Dearest Rachel – I will always remember your generous spirit, both in terms of your time and effort, and in terms of just giving to people. When a matter would arise that we agreed we should contribute to, I would always talk to you about how much we should give. For the most part, theContinue reading “Charity Begins at the Triangle”
from Rachel: Absolution
Dearest Rachel – Normally, I would put one of your notes up on Sunday morning, as they mostly come from sermon notes and bible studies. But upon discovering this barely half an hour before Jan was to arrive this morning, I had to include it here and now: It’s as if, after the awful up-and-downContinue reading “from Rachel: Absolution”
Apologia
I don’t know how to start this one off, Honey. To be honest, I’m afraid this letter isn’t really for you this time. I was talking to my Dad this morning, and he mentioned that my last post had some… unintended consequences. Basically, it looked like I was complaining about the job being done onContinue reading “Apologia”
Dumpster Dive
Dearest Rachel – There are times while she’s working that Jan encourages me to get out of the house. Now, sometimes it’s just the fact that I have appointments to keep, and she’s giving me an “I got this” type of reassurance. Other times, she senses I have work to do at the ‘office,’ andContinue reading “Dumpster Dive”
Another Irish Drinking Song
Hey, Honey – Everything I’ve been writing about has been so heavy lately, I figure I need to throw in something a little lighter than most – in the spirit (ha-ha) of the holiday. So here, for the benefit of our other readers… well, they can read the title. We were introduced to DaVinci’s NotebookContinue reading “Another Irish Drinking Song”
Dreams of Missed Connections
Dearest Rachel – So, you know that I never experienced dreams the way you or Daniel have. I mean, I would have them, but they were much rarer, and not nearly as vivid as those you two would have – at least, as a rule. Maybe it’s a function of my sleep apnea, maybe it’sContinue reading “Dreams of Missed Connections”
A Place in the Sun(room)
Dearest Rachel – As Jan and I move from room to room in our cleaning efforts, we’re starting to get into places where the trash is tangled up with the treasures. Notes and nothings mingle together, and aside from the sanctum sanctorum that is our bedroom, nowhere is more complicated in this respect than theContinue reading “A Place in the Sun(room)”
So Many Little Things
Dearest Rachel – You know I began this site as a form of therapy – a way to reach out to you despite knowing full well that you would see neither a word nor a pixel of it. It made a sort of bookending sense – we started our courtship by writing letters to eachContinue reading “So Many Little Things”
from Rachel: Morning Prayer
Dearest Rachel – While going through the stuff in the laundry room outside our bedroom, I found this post-it note attached to the corner of the mirror. It was a bit out of my line of site, but you must have had it there by the sink to remind you to offer this prayer asContinue reading “from Rachel: Morning Prayer”
Forever Young
Dearest Rachel – We were supposed to grow old together, like your parents, or mine. Fifty, sixty years together. We barely made half that. You were supposed to become the wise advisor to the young women of our church family. You were the one who knew how to keep a house together, how to raiseContinue reading “Forever Young”
from Rachel: Psalm 121
“(1) I raise my eyes toward the mountains. Where will my help come from? (2) My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. “(3) He will not allow your foot to slip; your Protector will not slumber. “(4) Indeed, the Protector of Israel does not slumber or sleep. “(5) The LordContinue reading “from Rachel: Psalm 121”
Jo’s Lament
Dearest Rachel – I got up early this morning, as I usually do, even on Saturdays. Got to be dressed before Chompers wakes up and demands breakfast, after all. But while waiting for him to wake up, I root around in one batch of papers or another, sifting through what should be kept, and whatContinue reading “Jo’s Lament”
The Fate of the TIE Fighter
Dearest Rachel – This probably shouldn’t come as any great surprise, honey, but as we’ve been going through the basement, we have been finding things from so far back that we just can’t hang on to anymore. Not just because of the mice – although that’s certainly contributed to the need to dispose of theseContinue reading “The Fate of the TIE Fighter”
The Measure of ‘Good’ and ‘Bad’
Dearest Rachel – The folks had Daniel and I over for dinner last night; it’s not gotten quite to the level of a Thursday night thing, but it does sometimes seem to be more often than not. Although, after a day of clearing through the basement, I confess that I had forgotten that we hadContinue reading “The Measure of ‘Good’ and ‘Bad’”
Rodents Ruin Retention
Dearest Rachel – As Jan and I (mostly Jan – she had me going through your old school papers) continued to clear things out of the basement, Erin came up to me. Yes, she was here, on her vacation no less, doing a lot of the heavy lifting – at this rate, Jan’s likely toContinue reading “Rodents Ruin Retention”
The Delight of My Eyes
Dearest Rachel – So, as part of my usual morning reading the other day, I was working my way through Ezekiel. And while I had read the passage before a number of times, this time was different: The word of the Lord came to me: “Son of man, behold, I am about to take theContinue reading “The Delight of My Eyes”
Parkinson’s Law as Applied to Dogs
Dearest Rachel – One of the results of my working (slowly and carefully, to be sure – I’ve no intention of throwing out anything you’ve written on that’s less trivial than, say, a one-time shopping list) on clearing… stuff… from your your side of the bedroom, is that the amount of room that Chompers hasContinue reading “Parkinson’s Law as Applied to Dogs”
Thoughts on Therapy
Dearest Rachel – So Daniel and I met with Pastor Scott last week. He reads these letters, so he doesn’t have to ask how I’m doing anymore. This, I’d say, was more for Daniel’s sake. To be honest, I think he needs to get out, and get involved with other people. It’s not something heContinue reading “Thoughts on Therapy”
I Found the Camcorder…!
Dearest Rachel – I know you remember the digital camcorder we used to have, that we splurged on before the folks took us on that second cruise. You know the one – it was when we visited Dad’s grandfather’s home in Gamla Stan, in Stockholm. We must have used it for about a decade ofContinue reading “I Found the Camcorder…!”
Rules for Responses
Dearest Rachel – You must have noticed that I’ve probably written more in the last month and a half than I ever have in my life, and that’s counting our high school and college days when essays were still a requirement in so many classes. And not just in these letters to you; I’ve hadContinue reading “Rules for Responses”
Example
Dearest Rachel – They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I’m going to miss mine by just a few days. Garrison Keillor Once again, I’m sorry you couldn’t have been there. And not just for the many, many obvious reasons. Today in church, we were coveringContinue reading “Example”
Nanette’s Rule
Dearest Rachel – Last night was not one of Chompers’ better nights. You would think that, after having the girls visit during the afternoon, and being exercised outside for quite some time because of it – to say nothing of having stayed up until 11:30 for his late-night pain pill rather than the usual 10:30,Continue reading “Nanette’s Rule”
from Rachel: Prayer of Thanksgiving
“Dear Heavenly Father, “Thank You so much for all You have done and so faithfully continue to do in my life. “Thank You for my life-birth and rebirth through Your mercy and salvation. “Thank You for how you sustain Mom & Dad from day to day. “Thank You for Randy, Daniel, all the family, allContinue reading “from Rachel: Prayer of Thanksgiving”
Too Late for Christmas Music
Dearest Rachel – I am so sorry… You might recall, during the Christmas season, I had attempted to find an album from my childhood, with music I’d never to my knowledge heard anywhere else, but really thought ought to have wider exposure. Maybe it’s just nostalgia, but I liked the songs, and wanted to shareContinue reading “Too Late for Christmas Music”
…pation
Dearest Rachel – Well, it’s over and done. Hopefully, I’ll not have to do that again for another ten years or so (although they did find one polyp in there, but the doctor acted as if this is a fairly regular occurrence, so I’m not going to worry about it until Monday, if even then).Continue reading “…pation”
Antici…
“Say it! Say it!” “Nope. Not gonna do it.” “…it’s for the kids.” “…ohhh, all right. But they better not laugh!” “Oh-okay. Here we go, then!” Dearest Rachel – Jan and I were busy pulling out cans and bottles from the cabinet in the utility room when the phone rang. Haven’t used the phone inContinue reading “Antici…”
House Fire
Dearest Rachel – It’s said that the amount lost in the course of three moves is equivalent to the loss of a single house fire. I wonder how what we’re doing now compares to that unit of measure. Because it seems you made an effort to deny even a house fire its due. It wasContinue reading “House Fire”
The Costs of Care
Dearest Rachel – Have I mentioned recently how mornings can be the worst? It wasn’t even the usual things, either. Chompers actually let me shower this morning before waking up and barking for… whatever. Once I got myself dried and dressed, I got him basically everything at once: hauled him outside and delivered him hisContinue reading “The Costs of Care”
For His Own Doggone Good
Dearest Rachel – I think this is Chompers’ sixth time at hydrotherapy, and each time, he likes it less and less. The whole trip there, he was sitting on your towel (yeah, I’ve been using one of your purple towels to wrap him up afterwards – I hope you don’t mind, seeing as to howContinue reading “For His Own Doggone Good”
Preservation
Dearest Rachel – Today was my third trip to Goodwill in the last seven days. All part of the deep cleaning process Jan has been putting me through. I mean, when were we going to get around to using these things, especially when we couldn’t even get to them? But we’ve made so much progress,Continue reading “Preservation”
Fortunes Lost and Found
Dearest Rachel – Mornings are the worst these days. In the stillness, as I pick my way through the house, I never know what I’ll find that will set me off. Oh, but first, you ought to know that Chompers did really well last night. Got to bed around 11, and didn’t wake up untilContinue reading “Fortunes Lost and Found”
A Ton of Memories
Dearest Rachel – I think these letters will, for a while, come more frequently, but be considerably shorter than originally intended. There’s no point in trying to put together the disjointed activity of a given day when the ups and downs are such that it would give someone whiplash. Best just to observe a singleContinue reading “A Ton of Memories”
Letters to Rachel 