Dearest Rachel – You know, it’s hard for me to get a sense of proportion sometimes, especially when it comes to distances. I try my best to relate the length of the walk between our house and the fitness center to that of, say, the Serenade of the Seas, but I just can’t seem toContinue reading “Counting Steps”
Category Archives: Self Renovation
Lapse
Dearest Rachel – These letters aren’t meant to be a confessional of any sort, but occasionally I feel a little compelled to do so regardless. And I know the thing that I’d be confessing this morning wouldn’t be of any concern to you – while I don’t think we we exactly enabled each other, weContinue reading “Lapse”
Not Today
Dearest Rachel – I woke up again – sort of – at four in the morning today, but this time around, I couldn’t bring myself to get up and go work out. And just like yesterday, it prompts the question as to ‘why,’ but from the opposite direction. Some of the reasons I might giveContinue reading “Not Today”
Not What I Was Promised
Dearest Rachel – I found myself waking up at barely four o’clock this morning; I’ve no idea why. Rather than simply roll over and go back to sleep, I found myself compelled to head down to the gym in the already slightly muggy (not that I haven’t experienced worse) twilight. Again, I neither know norContinue reading “Not What I Was Promised”
Not According to Plan
Dearest Rachel – Yesterday did not go according to my plan for it, honey. Ordinarily, I try to fast over the weekend when I’m working the booth; and while there was the temptation of a party involving the worship team after the Saturday service (which for the sake of my social life, I probably shouldContinue reading “Not According to Plan”
Eighty-Three Steps
Dearest Rachel – They say that travel is broadening, and, given my effort at weight loss over the past couple of years, that’s exactly the sort of thing I didn’t need. But it was something I was keenly aware of as I launched out on my trip this year. Cruise ships are famous (infamous? IContinue reading “Eighty-Three Steps”
Back To The Plan
Dearest Rachel – It’s taken a few extra days for me to do this, but I’ve finally got around to it. Maybe it stems from a guilty conscience about what I admitted to yesterday (combined with the fact that, as per said admission, I slept far too much during the day, and not all thatContinue reading “Back To The Plan”
Tanning Bed
Dearest Rachel – I hardly need to tell you that I’m nobody’s sun worshiper. Ra, Aton, Helios… they’re all utterly foreign to me. That being said, I understand the need to get oneself the proper amount of vitamin D even if I don’t always remember the proper dosage; when I went to restock my pillsContinue reading “Tanning Bed”
How Broken Am I?
Dearest Rachel – As much as I admit there are things that I need to get done before the end of this week and I head out, there are times when I’m just not motivated to do so. Daniel and I get home from our night working at Sparks, Logan comes down from his room toContinue reading “How Broken Am I?”
Still A Long Way From Normal
Dearest Rachel – It occurs to me that you’ll see that title, and assume I’m talking about how I’ve given up traveling downstate to visit your old home (and Twofeathers, who we gave possession of it to in thanks for the care she gave your folks – your mom in particular –in their final years,Continue reading “Still A Long Way From Normal”
Easy On the Envelope
Dearest Rachel – On paper – or on the calendar, anyway – I gave up this weekend; I didn’t manage to fast at all. Both days saw me eating something, despite the fact that, apart from December (because, you know, parties and other holiday get-togethers), I’ve been trying to go without when I’m working the boothContinue reading “Easy On the Envelope”
As Long as They’ll Let Me Show Up
Dearest Rachel – My scale didn’t groan when I stepped on it – after all this time, it’s certainly seen (and felt) much worse – but I rather did inwardly to see my highest weight of the year. And yes, I know that’s a ridiculously short span of time, which sounds longer than it is (hadContinue reading “As Long as They’ll Let Me Show Up”
The Important Out of Focus
Dearest Rachel – Given the situation that’s been more or less dominating our lives for the past two weeks, even overshadowing the Christmas season and its attendant hustle and bustle, you would think that I would have more to say about Dad at this point. If nothing else, I’m pretty sure I’d given you the impressionContinue reading “The Important Out of Focus”
When You Hit the Ground Running Too Hard
Dearest Rachel – While I’ve told you a number of times about how my body and mind don’t get along with each other on this subject (if nothing else, my body has insisted that it doesn’t think it’s getting much out of the bargain but aches and pains, to which my mind counters that theContinue reading “When You Hit the Ground Running Too Hard”
The Brits Have a Term for It
Dearest Rachel – More than most people, I’m quite well aware about of how we Yanks and the Brits are “separated by a common language.” On this side of “the pond,” my name is just that – a name – while over there, it’s not used as a name for the very reason that itContinue reading “The Brits Have a Term for It”
For the Sake of the Goal
Dearest Rachel – It’s not unprecedented, mind you, but it’s admittedly unseasonal for December to start off in the mid-forties, especially before the sun has risen. It really should be colder out, especially since it’s still dark. I don’t think I’ll even need a jacket as I head off to the gym – which isContinue reading “For the Sake of the Goal”
Conspiracy Meeting
Dearest Rachel – Since my body and mind disagree – sometimes vehemently – on how to handle things, I wasn’t invited to last night’s discussion, preoccupied as I was with a handful of more or less forgettable dreams. But I’m assuming there must’ve been some coordination going on, so I’m gonna take my best guessContinue reading “Conspiracy Meeting”
The Hundred Kilo Coup
Dearest Rachel – Another weekend, another day and a half of fasting, with all the attendant effects. Some of them are good – even intended, which I’ll get to eventually – but some of them can be a real test of willpower. I actually felt slightly bad on Saturday night when one of the guysContinue reading “The Hundred Kilo Coup”
Not Doing It For Me
Dearest Rachel – Fall is certainly making itself felt, with cooler temperatures and shorter days; indeed, that was just brought home yesterday when we had to set our clocks back. But at the same time, it’s not gotten so cold yet that I find myself having to wear the really bulky clothes that conceal theContinue reading “Not Doing It For Me”
It Seems I Don’t Get ‘Hangry’ – But I Probably Should
Dearest Rachel – The English language is a peculiar one, isn’t it? As I understand it, it’s the only one for which a thesaurus exists, but given that is does, it proves extremely necessary. We can use all manner of words to describe virtually every situation – although this appears to result in us AnglophonesContinue reading “It Seems I Don’t Get ‘Hangry’ – But I Probably Should”
In Praise of Impurity
Dearest Rachel – You’re probably looking at that title, and bracing yourself for what is commonly referred to here on the interwebs as “a hot take.” There’s likely to be a heavy dose of self-justification and attempts to explain my position on this matter, especially considering that the words as put up there seem, onContinue reading “In Praise of Impurity”
But Why Are They Starting to Notice?
Dearest Rachel – After nearly a year and a half of keeping track, and doing this thing or that to try to determine what might best assist me in my efforts to lose weight, it would seem that the process is starting to bear fruit. People are noticing. When I arrived at the folks’ lastContinue reading “But Why Are They Starting to Notice?”
The Effects of Bingeing
Dearest Rachel – I think I’ve filled you in several times already about my new tradition of fasting on Sunday on the weekends when I’m working in the booth. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me if you’ve gotten tired of hearing about it; there are times when I get tired of describing what I haveContinue reading “The Effects of Bingeing”
Failed Discipline
Dearest Rachel – In the past few years – especially in the last thousand days, for fairly obvious reasons – I’ve been constantly trying to add this thing or that to my ‘routine,’ such as it is. Some have stuck, at least thus far – these letters in and of themselves, for example, but alsoContinue reading “Failed Discipline”
The Second Side of Solomon
Dearest Rachel – I wonder if, after my letter from just the other day touching on the subject, my change in attitude is likely to give you a touch of whiplash. At the same time, for all your own emotional stability in general, you were acquainted with the caprice of mood from time to time,Continue reading “The Second Side of Solomon”
Not Instant, But Gratifying
Dearest Rachel – Setting aside the fact that I’ve explicitly told you numerous times over the course of the last thousand days, I’m sure you could figure out on your own that I don’t enjoy any aspect involved in what I often refer to as my ‘weight loss journey.’ Between the exertions of my workoutContinue reading “Not Instant, But Gratifying”
Healthcare Priorities
Dearest Rachel – Today’s ‘work’ day is going to be shorter than most, so I figure I ought to get this letter out to you sooner as well. Then again, who knows? There may be certain results from the reason I’m leaving the ‘office’ so soon that I’ll want to tell you about. Let’s seeContinue reading “Healthcare Priorities”
Old Reliable?
Dearest Rachel – There are some days when I don’t have a whole lot to write you about, and way too much time to do so. So I’ll fill a lot of space just complaining about the fact that, for all the things that I may have done in the day, there’s nothing particularly specialContinue reading “Old Reliable?”
Uncle Mamo
Dearest Rachel – I was planning to make this an epilogue to an earlier letter to you, but that one started to get out of hand, so I decided to create this as a separate one instead. Who knows? Maybe I lost the original thread when I walked away from it for a few hours.Continue reading “Uncle Mamo”
Random Bits
Dearest Rachel – You know, I have a couple of letters that I’m currently working on to send you, but they aren’t exactly talking about things that are happening to me at any given moment; they’re more just ongoing stuff. So I’m carefully assembling those still, hoping to release them to you when I haveContinue reading “Random Bits”
Six-and-a-Half
The race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself. Mary Schmich, “Advice, like youth, is wasted on the young,” Chicago Tribune, June 1, 1997 Dearest Rachel – In this case, the epigraph is only half right. Sure, the race that is life is a bit of a marathon, but in the incrementContinue reading “Six-and-a-Half”
The Deals I Make with Myself
Dearest Rachel – It’s still pitch black when I open my eyes this morning for the first time. Without even looking at the clock on my nightstand, my superego points out that I probably have just enough time to throw on shorts and a t-shirt, and head out to the fitness center for a workout.Continue reading “The Deals I Make with Myself”
Greetings From the Robinsons
Dearest Rachel – Well, it seems as though my subconscious decided to take the night off last night; I guess I can’t expect it to come up with something to tell you about every night. After all, there are plenty of real-life things I could be telling you about. It’s just that none of themContinue reading “Greetings From the Robinsons”
An Exercise in Willpower
Dearest Rachel – So, after a day of trying to get Daniel to eat a little more (which turned out to be less than necessary, as he’s more than capable of doing so, if he wants to, and there’s something in front of him) by setting more of an example than I probably ought toContinue reading “An Exercise in Willpower”
Impossible Things Before Breakfast
Dearest Rachel – Lewis Carroll’s Red Queen claimed that she prided herself on believing “six impossible things before breakfast.” I’m not nearly so ambitious, honey – indeed, I rarely bother to try to believe the impossible at all, let alone so many such things at once – but just for today, it seemed like IContinue reading “Impossible Things Before Breakfast”
Penance
Dearest Rachel – I’m not entirely sure why l’m coming to you with this, as if I was confessing to a priest or something. It’s not that you ever concerned yourself with nagging me about my weight, even though I was twice the individual you were. You probably looked on it as a sort ofContinue reading “Penance”
Trudging the Trudge
Dearest Rachel – Last night I went to bed early; before ten, so I could wake up a little after five and get to the gym more or less when it opened. I didn’t bother to shower yesterday, so I figured I’d get my second workout of the week in before taking one this morning.Continue reading “Trudging the Trudge”
I Can Only Be ‘Good’ for So Long
Dearest Rachel – Since I can’t quite tell you a success story about my drawn-out battle with weight loss – at least, not until I can prove to myself that I’ve attained a measure of lasting success – allow me to regale you with… well, would it count as a failure story? It’s not allContinue reading “I Can Only Be ‘Good’ for So Long”
Pressure Release
Dearest Rachel – I honestly thought that Lars would be more pleased when I told him. Oh, he was pleased enough to hear that I’d finally managed to drop below 250 and stay there for more than a twenty-four hour period (although I warned him that I’d probably bob up above it again the nextContinue reading “Pressure Release”
Seven Minutes
Dearest Rachel – If you choose your activity carefully, and put your mind to it, you can accomplish a lot in seven minutes. I can get my point across in that amount of time, for instance. Oh, I don’t mean that I can write these letters anywhere near that quickly; I consider myself fortunate ifContinue reading “Seven Minutes”
Reluctant Checkup
Dearest Rachel – Today’s main event was not my idea. You remember full well that I was never much for annual physicals. Unless there was something noticeably wrong with me (and to be sure, there is, as the moment – more on that later, assuming it’s resolved), all that a visit to the doctor wouldContinue reading “Reluctant Checkup”
Just Enough That It Hurts
Dearest Rachel – They say that a single hour of working out every week can make a big difference in one’s life, health-wise. That may or may not be true – I do see the results after each visit, even if they are only temporary in effect – but they also suggest that the processContinue reading “Just Enough That It Hurts”
Letters to Rachel 