Has anything like this happened to you? Please tell me about it.
“Not exactly, I’ve stalled with Suzy lots of times; our engine went phooey when we tried to visit Al and Andi, but we went a couple of months later; we stood Kristi and Ken up for dinner and didn’t have cell phones yet (accident or construction jam); I know Dana was hoping I’d visit before now – maybe this summer; and then there’s my previous visits to her when I tried to stop by Alton both ways. Aunt Betty was 93, I think, and I felt like I might not get another chance, so right away I began planning a visit to Macomb and then Jacksonville for a lunch together with Mom and Dad. It was our last chance as she went home just before Thanksgiving.”
Hunt down the English word hidden in that Greek term and write it. “orphan.”
Interestingly, the Greek phrase translates ‘literally “in face, not in heart.”’
List the names of a handful of people outside your family to whom your heart is sewn with a similar abiding, inward, affection, even if you live in different cities. “(Chronological) Andrea, Ellen, Alyssa, Elizabeth, Sally, Kevin, Kirsten, Suzy, Dana, Erin.”
Do these words stir up any particular response in you? If so, please tell me about it. “Not really, no.”
Our surface relationships are leaving us increasingly lonely.… We leave someone sitting before us, waiting while we ‘finish one more thing’ on our phone screen. But that’s just it; we never seem to finish. A heart without a face looks like any other heart. It’s the face-to-face that tells us if a heart-to-heart is real.
In 1Thessalonians 2:19-20, what words did Paul use to describe the Thessalonian Christians? “hope, joy, crown, and glory.”
How are these versus similar in tone to Philippians 4:1? “Paul calls them his joy and crown, also.”
If you’ve had a similar feeling about an individual or group you’ve served or served alongside, please share who and why.
“The description resonates with me and I feel certain that I’ve experienced it at least a few times. Sadly, I can’t recall the details of any right at the moment.”
We have to give fully to create the space to receive fully.
Have you ever avoided relationships to avoid pain? If so, explain.
“I am rarely pained by a relationship, though if we include discomfort, frustration, and irritation, then yes, I have stayed clear of some people at certain times. I always hide behind the old childhood excuse ‘She started it!’ If she wants to tell me off or just give me the silent treatment, I may wait a long time to pursue and hope she gets tired of waiting first.”
Even so, therefore go.
Dearest Rachel -
As the saying goes, there is a lot to unpack in this particular day’s responses.
I think I vaguely remember the last meeting we had with your Aunt Betty – although maybe it was when we met with her daughter in Jacksonville afterward. I do recall your dad absolutely breathing fire about how his sister was treated by the nursing home she had been consigned to (and now that I think about it, that experience may have factored into his acquiescence toward getting in-home nursing care, as the idea of a home understandably brought back bad memories).
As for the attempt to visit Andi and Al – or Kristi and Kan – I’m drawing a blank. I do recall Rocinante’s oil diaphragm bursting, stranding us in Plainville during the first few years of our marriage, but I can’t recall what was bringing us downstate at the time; these are the sort of details you would be able to recall for me, but on my own, I’m lost. I know you managed to visit Dana down in Olathe at least once, if not twice, but that may have been after you went through this study (and I may be counting your drive down with her as part of her move as one of those two trip, for all I know).
Meanwhile, I wonder how many of those names you list as having been bound to will see their names listed here; I know at least one who never will, and can guess one who’s quite likely, but as for the others, well… we’ll never really know. I don’t think there’s harm in listing them, though. If they do see their names, they’ll know you thought about them; if not, what harm would there be?
It is interesting to see a comment by the author from over ten years ago talking about how face-to-face interactions were already being interfered with by the ubiquitous presence of cell phones. The technological distractions feel like a relatively recent phenomenon, but that depends on how one defines recent; already, a generation has come of age that can’t remember a time in which smart phones were not an integral part of life.
At the same time, I can’t but notice the statement you underlined at the end of the paragraph. After so many misadventures in online dating, that sentence contains a whole other meaning neither of us would have considered at the time, but one that’s certainly no less true; only those face-to-face meetings have the hope of being real.
As for avoiding relationships, well… I probably have more issues with this than you. I can recall more than once, when you were upset over one of the girls you list being bound to getting temperamental about how you chose to spend your time (and with whom), I found myself advising you to let go of her, so she clearly claimed to want nothing to do with you. But just like Chompers’ first bite of you, you insisted that her prickliness was exactly why you needed to stand by her, because who else would? You always were a better person than I on these matters.
Whether these people would prove to be your hope of glory, your joy or crown, only you know at this point; I can only speculate. As always, I wish I knew, one way or another, but I also realize that knowing would likely take away from faith. Still, it would be nice to have the option.
