Nothing Left to Prove

Dearest Rachel –

The soccer game that is apparently a highlight of some people’s visit this week was canceled due to the rain this week. Given that my left ankle and my right pinky toe both seem to be giving me trouble, I’m just as happy to not have to put myself through those paces this time around. At this point, I’ve done my running around on the soccer pitch already; I don’t need to prove that I can a second time around.

It’s also just as well, as I understand that the students have developed a tendency toward some pretty aggressive play at times. It’s to be expected, as it’s a competitive sport, and kids at their age hate to lose – honestly, that goes for people of all ages, but it’s more obvious when you’re that age, and can play like your life depended on it. To tell the truth, I hadn’t noticed it much myself last time I was there, probably because 1.) there were students on both teams, rather than a situation where the locals were playing (and consequently clobbering) us Americans, and 2.) I can more than understand the competitive mentality, even in the midst of a supposedly ‘friendly’ game.

However, what was interesting about it was that at some point, they were asked about this style of play, and the response was something along the lines of “we want to show them,” that is to say, we the American visitors, “something that we’re good at.” Which strikes me as particularly odd, since they have more than proven they are ‘good at’ just about anything they put their minds (and shoulders, and backs) to. They’re hard workers whether with the pilas or the kitchen. They are good students, willing and eager to learn, even if the language barrier makes things difficult. They don’t need to work so hard to impress us; we’re already impressed with them.

Not to mention, Americans are notoriously bad at – and indifferent to – soccer (although efforts are being made to address the indifference factor, but that’s going to take marketing yet). The idea that being good at this sport will awe us any more than any number of things they already do seems a little strange. Then again, there is the fact that maybe they just like playing the game, and want it to be acknowledged that they’re good at it – although given that we’re poor judges of what is ‘good’ in this sport, it’s still odd that they would give our admiration any credence.

But regardless, this is a characteristic of youth, I suppose; there’s always this need to prove yourself to your elders, or those you consider somehow superior to yourself (however misplaced this assumption may be when it comes to soccer, in particular). I couldn’t swear to it, but I’d suppose that there comes a point when you no longer feel the need to do so. This is especially true with regard to physical activity; there’s a point where you have to recognize that you can no longer do everything you used to be able to. Sometimes, you fight back against that realization – there’s a need to prove that “I’ve still got it” – but at other times, you can accept that “hey, I did that once; I’ve got nothing left to prove.”

So it was for me with yesterday’s adventure activity; our coordinator Sarah had been keeping it a ‘surprise’ until Thursday evening, but let it out at the campfire debriefing that night that we were going kayaking, just as we had in July (apparently, previous teams had gone ziplining and other sorts of things, but this was what was settled on for this week). Since I hadn’t had the foresight to bring a pair of sandals or flip-flops, I decided to play the ‘old man’ card and eschew actually kayaking this time around. I’d done that back in July; I’d already proven that I could. This time around, I was taking the pontoon boat instead.

While aboard, I made an interesting discovery that should have been obvious from my last such outing; riding in the boat allowed us to go farther into the lake, and see a lot more places, than any of us in the kayaks would have been able to.

Whatever it was, this time around certainly had a different feel to it than the trip in July. And I’m kind of glad I got the chance both to return here and look at it from a different angle. Oh, and just so you know, I made sure to leave a bit of you in the lake, as well, as I’m pretty sure you would have wanted to be had you known about this place. Then again, if you’d known everything about this lake, you would have probably insisted we bring fishing tackle with us as well; it’s supposedly got all manner of ‘good eating’ fish out here.

But I don’t think we would have been given anywhere near that amount of time to catch lunch from here; we simply went back to the same American-themed place we went to last time. And regardless of the fact that you would have likely gone into the pool out back of the place, I didn’t shake any of your ashes there. If nothing else, I would expect them to clean the pool now and again; they would likely be filtered out and disposed of, which is hardly what you would have wanted. I’d gotten you down to Santa Cruz de Yojoa this time, honey; there’s nothing left to prove to you on this day trip, either, I’d like to think.

In any event, we’re about to call it a week now; so until later, remember to keep an eye on me, and wish me luck. I’m pretty sure I’m going to need it.