As Long as They’ll Let Me Show Up

Dearest Rachel –

My scale didn’t groan when I stepped on it – after all this time, it’s certainly seen (and felt) much worse – but I rather did inwardly to see my highest weight of the year. And yes, I know that’s a ridiculously short span of time, which sounds longer than it is (had I used the word “week” instead of “year,” I would be covering a longer period – and would only be still correct on a technical basis, since I’d been this heavy last Friday), but it has a certain ominous quality about it that a shorter span lacks. Besides, it is dismaying to see an increase of nearly five pounds in matter of only forty hours or so; but that’s what happens when I eat three square meals in the course of a single day. My body isn’t used to that level of consumption anymore, and hasn’t been for some time.

In my defense, Tuesday afternoon’s numbers were also skewed by the fact that I had just come back from the gym. So at this point, even my body, reluctant as it generally is, knows what I need to do – and since it’s just a little after five in the morning, what else is there for me to do (apart from sitting upstairs, writing you about this decision)? Yeah, I guess I’ve got to go back there.

The thing is – and here’s why saying “year” earlier is significant – I can’t recall if my yearly membership expires at the turn of the year, and they just let me in on the second out of habit, or if it’s good until whenever it was that I enrolled. For that matter, I can’t remember when, exactly, I enrolled – and therefore, assuming the latter possibility regarding my membership, when it’s set to expire.

By rights, I ought to be renewing it at some point in the near future, but – thanks to Dad’s continued recovery, thereby mitigating the need for me to stay in town indefinitely lest he pass away while I’m gone – I’m still planning to ship out early next month (wow, it’s barely a month away? I lost track of time over this past month. I hope I hear back from the visa place soon, as I still don’t have my passport back in order to actually leave the country). There’s no point in re-enlisting right now and wasting three months of membership; better to wait and do so when I get back, thereby allowing me the full use of the time purchased. Not only that, but I might consider signing up at a fitness center closer to home, so I don’t have to drive nearly as far in the cold (and, come summer, I could actually walk there, thereby getting in a little extra exercise). It rather depends on the price and amenities they offer.

But for the moment, it’s simply a matter of going out and doing what I usually do; pushing (or pulling, depending) weights, climbing stairs, rowing, riding and walking until I’ve burned a good thousand calories or so before heading home to shower, do laundry, and get on with my day. If I’m allowed in, I’ll keep it up for as long as they’ll let me show up; if I’m told that I need to renew, well… I guess it will be time for me to start shopping around a bit.

***

Well, they let me in again, but on my way out, I decided to ask about my registration. Their records show me signing up on the twenty-first of this month last year, which means that I might find myself caught short for just shy of three weeks (ten days in January, and ten in February) before I fly out. As I said before, I don’t see the point in signing up right away, but going that length of time without such exercise may be problematic in its own right. Maybe they’ll offer a grace period that I can take advantage of in the meanwhile; who knows? 

At the same time, I’ve been dealing with the law of diminishing returns for some time; while I haven’t touched the ceiling of 230 pounds (let alone ventured back through it) since the day after Thanksgiving (for reasons that ought to be obvious), I’ve also not dropped below the next milestone of 220 but three times, the last of which was over a month ago. Sure, it’s been the holiday season, with all the attendant eating as part and parcel of the celebration process, but a plateau is a plateau. For all the effort put in and calories burned, it doesn’t seem to be having the results it used to. 

Then again, it may be that, without such measures, I might not be able to hold the line. I might have a real-life experiment on my hands to deal with here, honey; let’s see what comes of it.

With all this in mind, though, keep an eye on me, and wish me luck. I’m going to need it.