The Hard Way

Dearest Rachel –

To think that I was just telling you yesterday about the beauty of the first snows of winter. That beauty comes at rather a cost, after all, foremost of which is the cold. Already, I find myself challenged as to how heavily to dress for one activity or another – for example, I’m meeting Lars later today, on this, the coldest day of the week, according to the forecasts, while yesterday morning had me in layers as I concluded my weekend fast with a trip to the gym. That latter trip was particularly brisk, as I drove there in cold darkness (and a frosted windscreen that – as always – I thought I could manage with better when I was in the driveway than once I was on the road) and returned wearing only my T-shirt and shorts, so I was feeling it pretty soundly by then, even with acknowledging the sun’s meager presence by then. While Sunday walked the line between freezing and thaw, thus far, the week ahead is decidedly on the colder side, and as the days (and more to the point, the nights, since they take up the lion’s share of each 24-hour period now) wear on, it’s only likely to get more so.

So I suppose it would come as no surprise to you that, on our way out from Sparks last night, we really didn’t spend all that much time talking with Erin. Engage in too much conversation, and our faces would begin to hurt, despite all that jaw movement. Besides, she needed to get home and get some sleep before her late night shift – the Christmas shipping season has her there as much as twelve hours a day, if the past is any indication (although she mentioned that there have been certain scheduling changes that might cut down on that this year). So, we said our rather quick goodbyes… and she hopped on her bike to pedal home.

Yes, her bike. In this cold – which even she acknowledges. She may be no fan of history (finding it fairly boring – and with the wrong teacher, that’s not unlikely), but she’s clearly a disciple of Teddy Roosevelt’s concept of what he referred to as “the strenuous life”; the idea of growth and strength through the conquest of adversity. Indeed, to my eyes, it seems that she seeks out adversity to conquer even when it’s not necessary to do so – like bicycling home in twenty-degree weather.

By contrast, I confess to being rather utilitarian in my outlook. There are things put on this earth to make life easier, more efficient and more comfortable for the rest of us, and it seems a waste to not take advantage of them if and when they are available for us to use. Likewise, there are certain people who can be relied upon in terms of their expertise and other benefits they may bring to a given situation, to make life better and easier for ourselves if we allow them to apply their gifts and talents within our own orbit. There will be plenty of hardships for us to deal with and overcome without having to deliberately seek them out, as far as I’m concerned. Driving home in a heated car seems preferable to cycling in a blistering wind – although, given that my commute is eight times longer than hers, she might actually concede the point in such case. Or not; one never knows with her.

At the same time, I suppose her results speak for themselves. Even back in the day, I referred to her in public as ‘fit’; how much more so now, that she’s embraced the running lifestyle and community (not to mention, for my own part, that my eyes are drawn to notice in a way they wouldn’t be if you were still around). So perhaps her deliberate pursuit of difficulty is beneficial, after all. And it’s not as if I don’t do the same thing in certain situations; one could argue that I could resort to the simple expedient of various medical procedures with regard to losing weight, as liposuction and laparoscopic gastric banding have been a thing for some time now, and there are experts in the field that I could rely upon. However, without at least some discipline, these results might not hold if I were to merely continue with my old habits, so taking “the hard way” is just the wiser approach.

So I can’t be too hard on her in terms of her choices; if nothing else, I’m in no place to do more than observe and comment. And as I said, even she admitted to it being uncomfortably – even problematically – cold. Not cold enough for her to reconsider bicycling, of course, but rather enough to cause her to contemplate looking into the possibility of finding herself a new bicycle, one less likely for its brakes to freeze in the cold.

Were our relationship at a different level, and were she not so into doing life the hard way as much as possible, this would be the sort of thing I would be inclined to take as a hint, what with Christmas coming up, and me looking for this or that to get family and friends (and having the ability to splash out on certain things). It would be something she truly wants, and she would be happy with it (assuming she settles on a model and finds out where it can be obtained from), and that’s reason enough, in lieu (for now) of something equally elaborate and expensive, such as putting together a trip for the gang like we did with Ellen way back in 2007 on the Liberty of the Seas or 2002 at Disney World, for me to be willing to offer to do (all of which I still want to do at some point, if only we could coordinate our schedules).

It’s funny, in a way; I could imagine Ruby, or any one of those other alleged girls from either one of those dating apps, being utterly flabbergasted at the fact that, here I am, more than willing to drop more than they ever asked for from me on someone. Why her, they might ask, and not me? Ironically, it’s in part because she would never ask; indeed, she would never dream of asking, even for help, let alone the concept of making it a Christmas present.

Of course, the irony is that, for the same reason, she’d probably never accept it from me in the first place. It’s possible that she might think I have some ulterior motive in doing so (on which subject I should probably plead the fifth, but regardless, I accept that it would be reasonable for her to come to such a conclusion). Moreover, there are people closer to her than myself to ask, if she really did want it for Christmas. And, of course, there’s the possibility that she would just as soon earn the funds to buy it on her own, providing the satisfaction of having done so independently in tandem with acquiring the chosen bike itself; a double pleasure in her eyes. It’s just how I’d expect her to roll.

Anyway, with that in mind, honey, you might want to keep an eye on us both – separately, of course – and wish us luck. We’re each going to need it, for different reasons.