“The smile of God is the goal of my life.
“I need to trust God more whenever I have a chance to indulge in a fun leisure activity but I know it’s really not the best time for it and I ought to wait for a better time (Usually either because there are chores I know I need to do or because it is past bedtime).”
“I need to trust Him more to order the rest of my day better than I could plan or even imagine, if I respect and honor Him with the firstfruits of my day (by spending quality prayer and Bible time with Him first thing in the morning).”
Dearest Rachel –
I have to admit, I don’t know what to add to this. You were perfectly well aware of the things you need to work on in your life, and I’m sure you tried to do something about them. At the same time, trying and succeeding or not the same thing; Yoda was quite wrong about there being “no try.” I can certainly vouch for the fact that that you never did get used to the idea of ‘bedtime;’ or, if your body acknowledged it was bedtime (by falling asleep), your brain refused to go to bed.
As far as spending time in prayer and studying the word, however, I can’t speak for that. Certainly, I found so much in the way of studies (and the notes you took thereupon) to suggest you made progress along these lines. It wasn’t the sort of thing that we talked to each other about, as I guess we sort of considered that a private matter between each other and God. Not to mention the fact that I really didn’t start a regular regimen of reading for another eight years after the study.
So for what it’s worth, you were already way ahead of me.
And in addition, I think were a number of other ways that you made God smile throughout your life. While I wouldn’t presume to speak for Him, I dare say He created the world for us to enjoy, and enjoy it you did. You may not have always had that ‘Good Seed’ smile, but you were constantly smiling, almost infectiously. I doubt that God caught your smile, but He may well have given it to you, and I’m sure He shared it with you when you wore it.