Topless in the Snow

Dearest Rachel –

I’ve discovered something curious about the treadmill I’ve bought to use here at home on days when it’s too cold or I’m otherwise unmotivated to make my way to the gym in the morning: the thing is apparently an energy vampire. Over the course of the last week, I’ve blown a fuse in the bedroom twice while I’ve been working out (a phrase that, under other circumstances, would have had you winking and asking cheekily, “is that code?” No honey, it’s absolutely literal); that hadn’t happened since some time last year when I had both space heaters running off of the room’s circuits (at which point I promptly switched the one heater to a plug in the laundry room instead).

To be fair, part of the problem stems from my attempts to use everything else at once, as well. This morning, for instance, I was watching a video on the computer while exercising, as well as having the heater running next to me since, after all, it is January, and the room isn’t connected to the central heating system (and while I know you’d point out the wall-mounted space heater, I’m embarrassed to admit that I’ve forgotten how to turn it on, let alone operate it at all; that’s why I bought the two portable heaters). About a mile (or eleven minutes) into it, everything stopped and went dark – well, as dark at it gets at eight-thirty in the morning.

Speaking of darkness, this is how I know exactly what had transpired this morning. This had happened on Saturday evening as well, only that time around, I had the lights on in the room (because the sun had long since set). That time around was a bit more of a shock, too; since the boys were in the family room watching anime on Logan’s computer – and had been for some time – and therefore had never bothered to turn on any lights in the house, I was afraid that either there was a total blackout, or I’d blown the circuits in the entire house. While I knew there wasn’t anything I could do in the former case, I thought I could at least check if it was the latter, and reset the circuit breaker if it was. However, I spent a good few minutes in the dark looking for a flashlight before remembering that my phone had such a function – and another few minutes looking for it before realizing it was in my pocket all along, keeping track of my steps. In any event, it turned out to be less of a problem than I’d thought, and all I had to reset was the bedroom circuit – and remember not to use the treadmill with the lights on. Or at least, so I thought.

You see, last Monday, I’d done pretty much a full workout on it, covering six and a half miles in ninety or so minutes, all with the computer (and television, of course, as a monitor) running while I did so to keep my mind occupied while I did so. So I assumed that it must have been the lights that were the tipping point in terms of blowing the fuse. Although, now that I think about it, I had the thing running with the lights on when I first set it up; that was part of why Saturday’s blowout caught me so much by surprise.

Still, since I didn’t have any lights on in the room this morning, it never crossed my mind that there would be a problem with the exercise session I’d planned for myself. My only concern was finding a video that would last long enough to keep my attention while I walked, and not have to switch over from one to another once it was done, but rather just walk for the entire length of the video and call it good. But that’s not what happened.

My only guess is that this time around, I was moving at a faster pace than I had been previously. At this lower incline, I can move faster; whereas anything over five miles an hour quickly gets to be a challenge at the gym (since I’m ascending at a full 15º or 15% incline – I’m not sure which), at an incline of barely over 4¼º at home, I can easily move much faster, thereby burning more calories. However – and this didn’t occur to me until after the fact – if I’m burning more energy to move faster, so is the treadmill. It’s not as if it’s pulling the same amount of energy from the plug at all times; it needs more to do more, and this is requiring it to do that much more at 6mph compared to 4 or 4½mph.

Moreover, since it’s getting back to January weather, the space heater is working harder to pump out enough hot air to warm the room, which also demands more energy from the plugs in the bedroom. Between the extra demand made by these two items, plus the fact that the computer and television were on as well, it’s probably no wonder that the bedroom fuse decided it had had enough for a second time in less than a week. Once I reset it, I did a couple more sessions without bothering to turn the computer (instead listening to a podcast on my phone, although it fell off of the treadmill eventually as well from the vibration of my steps) or the heater (since I was generating my own heat at that point) back on.

By the time I had listened to a couple of shorter podcasts, I’d covered a little more than four miles; it wasn’t as much as I’d hoped to do, but with the interruptions, it was the best I could hope for. Besides, it was looking like there was a bit of snow on the ground that I would have to attend to before I would be able to head out for the day, and that could be a workout in and of itself.

I’m sure it must have looked quite the sight to whatever passers-by (mostly in cars) might have seen me like this; this guy, topless in the snow, using a broom to clear his driveway while the snow continued to fall (although it let us shortly thereafter). “What is he, nuts?”

For my part, it actually felt refreshing – aside from the time or two when I discovered, just a little too late, that I was pushing snow into the wind, and it blew back onto me. Otherwise, it gave me an indication as to why the Finns are known to jump into snowbanks after taking a sauna. I won’t got so far as to beat myself with a pine branch, but after a decent workout, being out there in the snow felt surprisingly good – and it gave me a clear path for when I would drive out a couple hours later.

Still, it’s the kind of thing where I miss your being around to express your appreciation for my efforts – be it the workout itself, the fact that I’d cleared the driveway for the both of us, or that I’d done it while offering you a bit of fanservice (although let’s face it, you’re my only fan when it comes to that) in the bargain. At least I can fill you in on what happened, and let your imagination fill in the scene if you choose to.

For now, though, I’m going to need to clean myself up and get on my way for the day. This is only just enough for me to get me started and out of the house, after all. So if you’ll keep an eye on me, and wish me luck, I’d appreciate it, honey, as I’m going to need it.