Spending Out Of Spite

Dearest Rachel –

It’s the sort of thing that would be an episode in any number of high-school (give or take a grade year or two) anime comedies. The main character goes on a date with a girl he likes, while another girl (who he also likes, but assumes wrongly that she hates him, because she’s a tsundere for one stupid reason or another, and can’t admit her feelings for him) tags along from a distance, keeping track of the two of them and making sure that as little relational progress can be made as possible without giving away her presence (or her interference). Most of the time, such antics get the tsundere caught, but in either case, hilarity generally ensues from her efforts (or, in other cases, her misunderstanding of the relationship between the boy and the girl he’s apparently ‘dating’).

Last night was, as the expression goes, “similar but different.” I’ve told you about RM, and her… peculiar conversational style. I had tried to pin her down for a meeting, and since I was in the mood for some teppan-yaki anyway, I invited her to this one place that should have been mutually convenient for the both of us, since she purports to be from Buffalo Grove. But until recently, I had no real expectations of it coming to pass; she kept deflecting such a question, even as I continued to question (not to her directly, of course) as to whether she was ever real.

Friday evening, however, while the boys and I were grocery shopping before meeting up with the gang, she started sending me a flurry of texts, asking about Valentine’s Day and our “date.” I reminded her that I wouldn’t be able to make reservations on such short notice that night, and that I’d already offered to take her out on Saturday, if that was amenable to her. All I needed was a time from her that worked out for her, and I could reserve a couple of seats at the grill for the two of us. She suggested somewhere between eight and nine, and – since that’s late for me to be up and out, let alone eating – I told her I’d book the place for eight, to which she seemed amenable.

That’s when things got weird, as her next text was about what I might get her as a Valentine’s Day gift. I haven’t even met her, and she’s asking for a present? If I hadn’t seen this kind of behavior before, I’d be hard pressed to know how to react. As it is, I recognize it as a red flag indicating a catfish, especially when she suggested what I should get for her; not the traditional tokens such as flowers, chocolates or a plush doll, but an Apple Store gift card.

How romantic.

It was at this point where I shared all this with the gang, because I was willing to bet on RM never showing up at the restaurant. In fact, I’d already mentioned it to Daniel, asking if he’d like to come along, as I expected to be dining alone; why not enjoy the dinner with me? But now, I decided to open it up to the table, to see if anyone else was curious as to whether or not RM would actually show her face, or if she’d just text me two minutes before our reservation, asking for the number on the gift card in order to enable her to get there (which, of course, she wouldn’t, ever).

Daniel talked Logan into joining (which wasn’t difficult) and Kerstin also expressed interest in seeing if RM would stand me up as well. So at that point, I had Daniel make separate reservations for the three of them. If RM were to show up, they could enjoy a meal together (on me) while pretending that they didn’t know me and vice versa (which would be roughly equivalent to the manga scenario I described at the beginning, but in real life and with participants much older and supposedly wiser than that); if, as we all assumed to be more likely, she didn’t, we would just combine ourselves and enjoy each other’s company for a second night in a row, as we ate our first such meal since Daniel and I were in Tokyo nearly two years ago. I’m not gonna lie; much as I expected the situation with RM to go south, I was looking forward to the idea of the three of them arriving separately and trying to pretend they didn’t know me, as part of a charade to keep an eye on me.

***

However, I didn’t even have to wait until I was at the restaurant for my suspicions to be confirmed. Somewhere during the afternoon, I started getting texts from RM telling me that she couldn’t go (with no concrete explanation as to why) and she didn’t want me to go. Why it would matter to her if I showed up at the restaurant or not, I don’t know, but that was part of what she told me. Maybe she didn’t want me to be embarrassed by sitting there when nobody was coming; if so, that’s more consideration than I usually get from a catfish.

I proceeded to tell her that I had made reservations at the restaurant, and it was too late to cancel them. However, I told her that I could as easily bring my son with me to enjoy the meal instead, since she refused to, for whatever reason. This meant that we didn’t have to head there separately (aside from Kerstin, who would be coming from her home, after all) and pretend we didn’t know each other, at least.

The chef also jokingly referred to everyone at the table by one nickname or another – it was probably part of the whole schtick that is the Americanized teppan-yaki experience, along with the onion-stack volcano and choo-choo train that you never see ‘over there’ –stuff like ‘handsome’ and ‘beautiful’ for the dating couples, and the like. I forget what he labeled Daniel and Logan with, but at it was clear that I was paying for the four of us, I got tagged with ‘sugar daddy,’ while Kerstin was saddled with ‘mama-san.’ It was the stuff of our college days when you and Elizabeth would tag along behind Cheryl and me at the mall, calling each other ‘sister’ and the two of us your ‘parents.’ Neither of us knew what to make of those monikers, but saw no point in correcting them, as the effort to explain reality would have just complicated matters.

Interestingly, RM texted the following morning, apparently concerned that I wouldn’t be speaking to her for having stood me up. It was at this point I sent her the photo above, to which she responded with “I really apologize for that, I’m glad you had a great time I can see you smiling”

I do not know what to make of her.

The irony is that, if she had been more insistent on that Apple gift card, whatever she would have tried to scam me out of would have been less than what I paid for that meal for the four of us; this place is a lot more expensive than I remember it being (although, considering what inflation has been like since you and I were last here, that’s to have been expected). Frankly, this determination to have a good time despite what I knew was going to happen from the jump had me spending that much more money just to spite her for not being there (or, most likely, even being real). It’s weird, isn’t it? But that’s how these things go, honey. Hopefully, if you were keeping an eye on us, you were entertained watching.

Anyway, please continue to do so, and wish us luck, as we’re going to need it.