Dearest Rachel –
There are plenty of luxury items that bill themselves as gift possibilities “for the man (or woman) who has everything.” Heck, there are entire shopping locales that are built to hawk such wares, most of which strike me as being geared for those with more money than sense, in my humble opinion. Some things, such as food and clothing, are basic necessities, but then there are gadgets and gewgaws that serve little purpose but to sit there and look pretty. Others have a certain functionality, but either aren’t entirely intuitive (until you figure them out) or clearly necessary; I remember a catalog we used to get regularly back when we were first married that billed itself as being full of “things you never knew you needed – and can’t possibly live without!” I suspect my love of technology falls into that latter group; I could live without it, but would I want to? Eh, not really.
Even the basic necessities can be made into extravagances; while one needs to be fed and kept warm, it’s not necessary to eat Wagyu steak on a daily basis or wear a Siberian tiger fur coat in order to do so (and in the latter, the opprobrium of certain animal rights groups further adds to the need to be more circumspect in one’s sartorial choices). Being full and comfortable is more than sufficient for most of us.
All of which leads me to today’s dilemma, as this is the folks’ anniversary, and I’m – as usual – at a loss as to what to do for them. It’s not so much that they have everything, per se, but that they have ‘enough’ – and of the things they might want more of, they’re no longer in a position to truly use or enjoy like they used to. After all, Dad has resigned himself to the fact that he’ll not be able to consume food in the traditional manner, so a restaurant gift card would be rather wasted on him. And while the surgery a month and a half ago has proven successful, allowing him to leave the house for extended periods of time without worrying about things like leaks, it’s not as if he and Mom will ever have the ability to travel much from this point on. Why, even something as relatively close to home as a local theme park would probably be met with amusement by the both of them if I were to suggest taking them to one. That’s no longer their speed, feeding tubes and “meal” times aside.
Which leaves me at a bit of a loose end… what do I give these folks, when they have anything they might need, and whatever else I might think of, they’d be hard-pressed to get much benefit out of?
Well, while I may not have first-hand knowledge of this, I understand that a lot of self-help organizations will tell you that the first step in terms of solving a problem is admitting you have one. My problem is that I don’t know what gift to get them, so I need to talk with someone who does. If this were a gift for you, honey, I would simply ask you directly, but for most people, this requires a more roundabout approach. In this case, my go-to person is my sister, Jenn. She has a talent for spotting needs and knowing how to fill them (and by whom).
So I asked her. The answer I got was not one I would have expected; she suggested getting something in their name from one of any number of charities they support. To be fair, this isn’t entirely out of the blue; they’ve bought goats in our name through the likes of World Vision or the Heifer Project on Christmases past, even during your lifetime. So turning the tables wouldn’t be such an outlandish concept as all that.
Not only that, but there’s actually suddenly been a pressing need for such charity. With the ravages of Hurricane Helene just this past week, certain areas in the Appalachians have gotten literal once-in-a-century levels of rain, and of course, devastating floods. Whole towns have been effectively wiped off the map, with fatalities thus far over a hundred souls. These aren’t coastal towns, either, where this is something of a regrettable fact of life; this is inland, in mountainous areas, so they weren’t nearly as prepared for this out of sheer habit (like, say, Floridians might be). If they aren’t literally drowning in rainwater and debris, many folks are suffering from the loss of basically everything they hold dear. For all that I’ve lost of you yourself, honey, at least I have pictures and recordings and notes of yours to hold onto; to have those destroyed as well would be devastating. That’s what many of these folks are going through. So yeah… this seemed like an excellent idea, especially given the current need.
I will say that it does mean that I find myself compelled to spend considerably more than I would on a bog-standard gift, though. I’m not sure why; it just feels like the need is such that it just ought to be more than what I would ordinarily lay out for a present. Maybe it’s because it’s going to a community rather than a couple; I don’t really know. I can only hope that the organization I’m sending it to will be able to make it go farther than it might if I were spending it directly. They’re certainly reputable enough, though, so I think it will be fine.
And I realize that, by talking about this whole situation with you, I’ve blown my own horn, like the Pharisees did in the day when Jesus criticized them to His disciples. So this isn’t going to result in any credit toward me. Honestly, I’m fine with that. This wasn’t my idea (apart from the amount to send), and while you would insist otherwise, this hardly even feels like my money to spend; all I’m doing is letting it go forth and do good. At least the folks know about it (since the organization sent them a notification that this was being done in their name), and they seem pleased about it – and for my part, that’s all that matters.
Feel free to follow the money, if you can, honey. Keep an eye on the folks down there bearing up under all this disaster. Welcome those that have been collected home, and wish luck to those that bear up behind; they’re going to need it a lot more than I am, that’s for sure.
Letters to Rachel 