That’s Just Not Its Purpose

Dearest Rachel –

Despite the fact that, in the moment, it obviously seems as such, there’s no longer any such think as waking up “too early.” What with the gym being open at four, I would have to get up at a ridiculous hour to not have at least this option to do what I ought to with my time (not that it hasn’t happened already since returning home from the trip; although the trip and its attendant muddle about time zones could easily be blamed for that, at least in part). Some days, I’m even motivated, while others find me preparing to go more out of habit and a sense of commitment. Some of the guys at the Bible study, however, think I should be looking at it differently.

You see, several of them go to various fitness centers (with varying degrees of regularity), and at least one other of them is single as well – albeit for different reasons, which may or may not be significant. This particular fellow sees the gym as a great place to meet and talk to women, and thinks that if I look at it in those terms, I will not only get a double benefit from the place. Not only will I be that much more motivated to go, but I will get more practice in personal interactions – and may just be able to find myself a few dates out of the process in the bargain.

There’s a problem with this interpretation, however; that’s just not a viewpoint I can take (at least, not yet). To me, this place is like any other retail establishment. To be sure, they aren’t selling you a product or even a service, as such; on a basic level, it’s more a matter of renting the equipment for use. Going a little deeper, if they can be considered to be ‘selling’ anything, it’s actually more of an idea or a promise – use this stuff faithfully, and you will lose weight or gain muscle (not at all the same thing, since muscle is denser than fat), and in either case, you will look better, feel better (well, not at that moment, necessarily, but you’ll see), and actually be healthier. Really, it’s not a bad thing to be offering customers, especially for those for whom it works.

The thing is that, like with nearly all guys and retail establishments, I’m only there for the purpose that the place is meant for. When I shop – and you remember this, and most guys will confirm this for their own part as well – I will go in, get what I want as quickly as possible, and get out. Limited personal interaction, as that only slows the process down. I would refer to these sorts of shopping excursions as “surgical strikes.” As a general rule, this is how a guy shops.

This approach extends to my time at the gym. I’m not there to talk with anyone; indeed, I rather need to save my breath for when I’m doing the cardio portion of my workout. All I really want to do is to get in there, do x number of repetitions on this or that weight machine, walk uphill for enough time to burn off x number of calories, and that’s it. It’s not a place where I want to hang out, for any reason.

“But the people you meet there!” Yes, they’re intent on their own self-improvement journeys, which is a noble and respectable thing. That’s the thing, though; they’re on their own journeys. It may be a case of projection on my part, but I expect that they don’t wish to be bothered any more than I do while they’re at this. Any attempt I might make to strike up a conversation would be hindered by my ‘knowledge’ that, since I wouldn’t necessarily want someone coming up to me and speaking to me out of the blue (save possibly for one of the hotter young girls – and even then, I’d be automatically suspicious of their motivations, because who does that?), I naturally assume they wouldn’t want me doing so to them, either. It’s the evil twin of the Golden Rule.

And it may be unfair of me to say it, but I’m not sure I’d even want to be a part of the ‘fitness community’ in any event. There are those for whom this becomes a lifestyle, an end in itself. For my part, I see it as nothing more than a means to an end, nothing more. Oh, I get that it’s an end I will never reach – at this point, I’m afraid I won’t ever get down to 200 pounds, let alone my college weight in the 180s or my high school weight in the mid-160s – and even if I did, I’d have to keep up the diet and exercise regimen just to maintain my achievement. No more bingeing on half a bag of Cheetos now and then (by the way, I have since discovered why you liked the curly ones, when back in the day I preferred the melt-in-your-mouth feel of the puffed variety – your type is so much more flavorful. But it’s probably better that I waited until now to discover this, or we might have been fighting over the bag on a regular basis), no skipping more than a weekend of working out. All less than ideal – although I suppose it’s no different than having to shave every day or two, lest I have to deal with a mess of hair on my chin, really. And while it may be nice to have a group of like-minded friends to make the process more bearable, I’m not sure I’d want to be part of a circle whose uniting cause is working out. I have too much in my life that’s anathema to that lifestyle that I still want to hang onto, and don’t want to compartmentalize my relationships like that. Especially since this is something I want to have exist in a relatively small compartment of my life. It’s already metastasizing further than I’d like it to; I don’t want to encourage its growth that much more.

Thus far, that’s not really been an issue at the place. As it happens, the times when I go are fairly irregular, starting anytime between four and six in the morning, and I have only seen a few people that appear to be the same from day to day. Moreover, there is more than enough equipment to work on, compared to the number of customers; there are enough treadmills, for instance, that people can space themselves out like at a public washroom, where there’s a buffer urinal between patrons to limit contact. You may not have been personally aware of this phenomenon, but I think you always were ‘guy’ enough to be able to, if not relate to it, at least be aware of it. Needless to say, the man code also precludes talking to the guy next to you, so why would that be any different in this situation?

Not only that, but there have been things popping up on social media where girls post about being stared at – let alone being approached – at the gym, and they’ve made it clear that they don’t like it. To be sure, some of these posted situations appear to have been staged, while others are almost as if they’re provoking a response from male patrons so that they can make a scene about it, but the overall attitude is clearly one of “we don’t want to be objectified,” which seems a reasonable complaint. The thing is, I couldn’t approach someone without seeming like that (probably because I know what my motivations are, so I assume that they can tell, too), so this suggestion of using the place to meet women seems ludicrous on its face to me.

Because that’s just not its purpose.

Anyway, I’m done working out for today; now I get to sit in front of a computer for a few hours, like I actually enjoy doing. Even so, keep an eye on me, honey, and wish me luck; I’m sure I’ll need it.