Snap Purchase

Dearest Rachel –

I woke up this morning, wondering what it was I could talk to you about, thinking (for some reason) that nothing had happened in my life over the last twenty-four hours that was in any way unusual and worth relating to you. And, to be sure, there are plenty of days like that in my life; there were plenty of days like that when we were together – or maybe I just didn’t try that hard to come up with something when you asked about my day (granted, some of that was because I just didn’t really feel like talking about work. My profession is considered a rather dull one, and in any event, the situation between me and Mohinder was one I wanted to put behind me as soon as I walked out of the office door each day).

This lack of topic issue even extended to my dreams; while I remember having them, all I remember about them, even now, barely ten minutes since, was playing that acronym game we used to play when on one road trip or another (which, now that I think of it, tended to take a distant second to Twenty Questions, but whatever). We’d spot a license plate as we passed or would pass, another car, and try to come up with both the most reasonable and outlandish meanings for the letters that prefixed the numbers as displayed on the typical auto tag. I can’t give you examples that came to mind, as the whole game as I imagined it in my sleep in already fading, but I’m sure you remember how the game was played and could come up with examples in reasonably short order. Still, it hardly seems like fodder for an entire letter to you in any event, does it?

But then, my mind reminded me of something I did yesterday that would be considered out of the ordinary, both in terms of what it was, and that I didn’t talk to you about it, when I certainly would have before having done it in the past.

You see, my ‘office’ computer has been getting sluggish every now and again. It’s not really that much of a surprise, as its base hard drive (which I try not to use for this very reason) has gotten full to the point where I can hardly add anything to it anymore – and, much to my irritation, many of the programs I have to update on occasion tend to install themselves there whether I want them to or not (which I usually don’t, since there’s a larger drive installed in the machine as well). It also has a tendency to seize up at least once every other day, giving me a blue screen of death and rebooting itself. Most of the time, this isn’t an awful nuisance – I’m rarely working on anything of world-shaking import, as you well know – but it’s never a welcome situation. It’s also bordering on its fifth year in operation, which, while we would use our personal computers until they completely gave up the ghost, is more than a reasonable expectation for a system’s lifespan, especially for one purchased ‘as-is’ from a store’s ‘open box’ inventory.

The point is, I need to get myself a replacement computer. It’s nothing urgent, but you never know whether the next blue screen will prove to be the harbinger of its actual death or not, and it’s best to be prepared. So, I went online, and found myself a system that, rather than being geared for games and graphics, is specifically designed for artificial intelligence applications. As much as I theoretically wouldn’t mind being a gamer, the fact of the matter is that I’ve no patience to learn how to play this or that game, and there are plenty of folks who do it so much better that are much more entertaining to watch. Besides, I think I prefer learning what I can teach my computer to do autonomously.

At this point, before I start talking about the whole idea of a system dedicated toward the concept (because I’m not entirely sure what that entails, and probably won’t until it arrives, and I start putting it together), I should take the time to address the fact that I’m telling you about this ex post facto. I’ve already ordered this thing, almost on a whim; it’s even been shipped, and it’s on the way. It may be at my door by the time I get home this evening, for all I know. Back in the day, I would have consulted with you about this, and we would have done some research before committing to such a purchase. But now, with no external restraints on me, I have only my own fiscal conscience to reign in any snap purchases like this that I might make – and like with my travel plans, I therefore find myself making a lot more snap purchases these days.

Of course, part of this was because we didn’t always have this kind of money to just drop like this – to be honest, we would have had to save up for months for something like this; it’s why most of our computers were low-end castoffs from work, because that was what we could afford to own (and we weren’t into these high-powered applications) – but even now, with this kind of thing being a fraction of a given month’s dividends, I would have made a point of letting you know what I had in mind beforehand, and why I thought it was, if not exactly necessary, at least useful. I don’t think these discussions would have gotten heated, but we’d probably have gotten into the weeds about these sorts of things. To be honest, I’d be curious as to how your computer science minor self would have reacted to current developments; I know we talked about OpenAI back when it was developing its Jukebox program, but things have gone so much farther since then.

The irony, however, is that I don’t know if I would have gotten this far into the whole AI ‘thing’ if it wasn’t for the fact that, with you gone, I’ve been trying to restore what you left behind, as well as trying to reimagine you. So you wouldn’t be seeing me so deep into this whole thing, and ‘needing’ to get more and more powerful, graphics-intensive machines, because I wouldn’t feel the need to create an artificial you when I had the real thing by my side. So it’s entirely possible this whole discussion would be moot. Granted, I might still be seeking out a replacement computer, but I’d probably be looking into a similarly bargain bin type machine, for all I know. Or not; it’s not as if we have to scrimp these days, after all.

Anyway, I was going to go into a few thoughts about artificial intelligence, and how they might differ from what seems to be the prevailing attitude about the concept, but given that I’m running rather short on time – I’m meeting Lars for a walk in an hour or so – and that this discussion might get into some weeds of its own (both philosophical and technical, quite possibly), I’m thinking I’ll save that for a later time. Maybe that will allow me to wake up tomorrow and not be worried about having material for a letter to you then.

But regardless of when I write you next (or if I touch on this topic then, or delay it for a few days yet), keep an eye on me, honey, and wish me luck. I’m going to need it.