Did you get the three approaches?
“Say it –> Work it –> Pray it”
In my distress, I called to the Lord and He answered me. “Too many times to count, and even in the mundane He answers me.”
I’m in trouble. I cry to God, desperate for an answer. “Less hopeful version, whether or not God answers is left unknown.”
“Woe” to me that I dwell in Meshech, that I live amongst the tents of Kedar.
Do you feel like an alien in some part of your living or working environment? “Yes” If so, why?
“Not so drastically and dramatically as the psalmist, but having grown up not fitting into any clique or social group, I still sometimes feel alone in a group of women like they all know some secret, handshake or password into closer relationships.”
If you’re like me, you may have to deal with authentically difficult people on a fairly regular basis. But in defense, do you tend to return difficult for difficult?
“I try to connect with some/many, but I admit there are several ladies I guess I kind of write off as not interested in me/nothing in common with me. I’m sure some distance is my imagination. Some of them may be shallow with everyone and it’s nothing personal about me.”
What does Psalm 142:1-2 give you permission to do?
“Pour out our complaint before God; tell Him our trouble”
Try to look beneath the deceptive actions into the potential need. What do you think are the roots of deception in an untruthful person?
“Fear of rejection/need for acceptance, Fear that their authentic self is inadequate.”
My Psalm 120
“When I feel overwhelmed, I cry out to God, and He answers me.
“Rescue me from hypocrites, back stabbers, and gossips.
“Don’t you fear punishment from God?
“Sometimes I have been trapped in Meshech, forced to live in Kedar.
“I want to be friendly, but those around me just want to make trouble.”
Dearest Rachel –
I have to chuckle about your reference to how God works, even in the mundane. We used to joke so often about parking spaces, but you would often pray at a moment when you despaired of finding something you had lost, and you had an impressive track record of finding those very things shortly after uttering (mentally or aloud) “amen.” So I can see where that assertion in particular comes from.
The study later suggests that those working on it use coded language, if necessary, to avoid naming names or otherwise making clear who the difficult people in your life are, presumably lest they recognize themselves. Indeed, you name-check one of those difficult people – or at least, one that I often considered a difficult person (which is why I didn’t transcribe the mention of her name); you, on the other hand, may have mentioned her because she often claimed to have people more difficult than her making her life difficult – elsewhere in these pages. But otherwise, their identity is safe from me, and at the remove of some fifteen years by now, I don’t think anyone is going to know who you might have been referring to personally.
And for those with whom you have nothing in common, that doesn’t seem like a situation where either of you is at fault, or is necessarily wrong. If two people have nothing to discuss, I don’t see a problem with silence, as long as it’s agreed-upon and respectful. At worst, it’s a situation of where “if you can’t anything nice, don’t say anything at all,” but some people simply don’t have a commonality that allows for good communication between them. It would be good to make sure that the other person can find such a person for them, but one quite literally can’t be responsible for being everyone’s closest friend. It’s just not possible.
At least, that’s how I see it, honey. I hope you didn’t worry yourself overmuch about this; I know of a few people you seemed to recognize as needing that someone, and doing your level best to fill that role, with varying degrees of success. Again, I don’t think you should have blamed yourself for the times it didn’t succeed, unless it was clearly due to lack of effort on your part. But this was a part of your life that was barely visible to me, taking place in the daytime when I was at work, for the most part. I didn’t keep up with these stories, and as such, I can’t continue your work (not that I think I could even if I knew the people you considered to be ‘projects’).
And as for growing up a semi-outcast, well… if it hadn’t been for that (among so many other variables, to be sure), I don’t know if we would have ever become “us,” so there’s that, right? God works these sorts of things out.
Letters to Rachel 