And There Will Be Joy!

Dearest Rachel –

I know that it was one of our favorite films, but do you remember the last words of the King of Florin? It’s a fairly obscure line in the midst of a scene that memorable for other reasons, but let me see if I can’t refresh your memory (there’s a lot going on here, so the relevant line is at 1:12)…

“Love her as I loved her,” (which, upon consideration, seems a little weird in and of itself; the roles of daughter-in-law and wife, and the sort of love bestowed upon each of those roles, are not the same. However, let’s set that aside, and assume the old king meant well by it) “and there will be joy!”

You would expect that a king would, on his deathbed, impart certain final words of wisdom to his son as he prepares to rule as king – at least, assuming he was lucid and of sound mind, which might be debatable about His Majesty. We do, after all, see him elsewhere in the film, and while he seems to be of reasonably sound body for his age, his mind is clearly… well, let’s just say that it’s elsewhere. Still, one would expect actual leadership advice from a dying king under ordinary circumstances. 

As the viewers, we assume that Prince Humperdinck is making stuff up to mythologize his father, given the old king’s mental state – and given that, to everybody barring Tyrone, Count Rugen (and even to him, as you can see – although he even may be trying to convince himself as well in the scene above), he is a lying liar that lies, it seems reasonable to expect so. But why is he putting the focus on his to-be queen, rather than the kingdom?

Well, the end of the scene explains it; while you never wanted me to spoil a story, it’s rather crucial to point out that that this coronation was all in Buttercup’s own mind. Despite the fact that the death of a ruler and the ascension of his son to the throne is a significant moment in a nation’s history, she is essentially making this moment all about herself.

Not that I’m blaming her for it. We are all self-centered, when we come down to it. We only see the world through our own eyes; every event we experience is colored ever so slightly by our own unique collection of past experiences; we are not capable of feeling each other’s pain or pleasure in any given moment. With regard to the last item, we can approximate and analogize to arrive at a form of empathy by comparing what another is dealing with to something similar in our own experience, but analogies inevitably break down; we can only hope that our template is close enough for us to be able to relate to and assist the other in what they’re going through. As for our beleaguered princess, she is coming to the realization of what her choices will mean to her (and her alone) as the inevitable closes in on her, and that she has made the wrong choice. This is, quite literally, a nightmare she’s realizing she wants no part of.

All of which is neither here nor there; this was the best clip I could find of Humperdinck relating his father’s alleged ‘final words’ (which, of course, never were such – which explains why they seemed to be so unbefitting the situation). This line of oddly-timed wisdom is thus subsumed among all the other goings-on, so I figured I ought to address them as well.

It all comes to mind as I’ve been getting advice from my dad as I sit by his bedside for a few hours each day. To be sure, much of that time involves nothing more than being there, sometimes being silent as he rests, occasionally filling him in about news of the world that he cannot access in his current state. But every so often, as he is aware that he’s running out of time, he dispenses instructions for us to carry out, under the assumption that he will be unable to do so himself. Some of it has to do with relatively immediate concerns, such and bills and taxes (which, of course, are as inevitable as death itself, after all).

Occasionally, however, it will venture into more long-term topics, and I’m sure that by now, you can guess what one of those topics is. In light of the circumstances, he has expressed to me that that he has no significant regrets about his life; nothing left unsaid or undone that really had to be and can’t now. But he does wish that he could have been around to see me find a godly woman, one I could worship and serve alongside.

He’s not alone in that. While he wouldn’t agree – not subscribing to any concept of karmic balance or equivalent exchange – I sometimes think he was kept here (despite all odds) to help me through dealing with losing you. It would be logical, from a narrative standpoint, if he were to stick around until such time as I were to find someone to take your place. Certainly, he’s convinced that there is such a person out there for me, and it seems only appropriate that he gets to have his faith justified one last time.

But life doesn’t operate on storybook rules, at least not much of the time. Sure, he knows of an example of the kind of woman he would like to see me with (although she only came up on his radar after she married someone within the church, so she’s specifically off the table – although, as a hint to who she is, she told her new husband at the time that she needed to get to know you, in order to learn how to be a good wife. Unfortunately, that was only a few months before the accident, so that never came to pass), and I have a few people that I think would fit the bill, if only I knew how to approach them. But while enough time has passed since you had to go and now that I could have traversed the entire arc between originally speaking to you and proposing to you, I don’t know that I’ve made any progress toward this end with anyone since. So, while Dad seems to be recovering yet again, the odds that he might see the day seem awfully slim indeed, barring some sort of miracle.

And while I’ve gotten kidding from some folks that I might find someone while traveling the coming spring, I really doubt that’s likely. I’ve already discovered from my experiences at AnimeIowas since that just because I might have an interest in common with a girl doesn’t make us compatible for life. Only a strong faith, where each of us could support the other along the long, hard road, is truly necessary; and I don’t expect to find anyone like that on the ship (and even less so on land, given the minimal amount of time I’ll have in any one place). And I’ve no end of examples of folks, both extended family and peers, that have made bad choices in this arena; better to be single for life than make one of those kind of mistakes.

Still, if I follow his advice regarding the kind of girl to look for – and if I manage to find such a girl – it’s true; there will be joy. I only wish he would get to meet her before he has to go. Hey, I’ve had to admit he was right enough times in my life – what’s one more?

In either case, honey, keep an eye on me, and wish me luck; I’m going to need it.