Dearest Rachel –
Once again, I begin a morning – and a week – with no single, coherent topic to discuss with you today. So I hope that you’ll forgive me for just throwing out a couple of paragraphs here and there as I splash through my stream of consciousness; try not to get too wet as you follow along (although actually, now that I think about it, you’d probably enjoy that, wouldn’t you?)
***
As disappointing as it was to see it, it didn’t come as any great surprise to step on the scale Saturday morning and see that I’d crossed over the barrier I thought I’d left behind at the beginning of the week. After all, while a single slice of deep dish pizza could be considered a meal by itself, I don’t know anyone who can stop at a single slice – least of all myself. I had more than my share Friday night when the girls were over.
Of course, I’ve made a point these days to fast over the course of the weekends (especially since I work in the booth at church, thereby leaving Daniel to his own devices, and thus not subject to the restrictions I’ve placed upon myself – unlike me, he doesn’t need deliberate encouragement to skip a meal or two; rather the contrary, in fact), and after having lunch on Saturday, I went without eating until this morning. In the course of those forty or so hours, I dropped six pounds, as I deliberately attempted to act like a Biblical fool:
The fool folds his hands and eats his own flesh.
Ecclesiastes 4:5, English Standard Version
Of course, this was written in a time when laziness often led to starvation; it’s weird how nowadays, some of the poorest folk in this country are most likely to be obese. Starvation isn’t the problem that malnutrition (which for all that it may sound like it, isn’t quite the same) is.
***
On the subject of malnutrition, though, it seems that Lou’s isn’t the best choice for future get togethers. Not only does it not rank very high on Daniel’s list of pizzerias to begin with, it seems to disagree with each one of the girls in different ways. Well, Ellen was fine, but that’s because we took the trouble to get a gluten-free option for her (although I forgot that the gluten-free pizza wasn’t the same as their ‘crustless’ offering – which was probably just as well, as the latter would have cut no ice with Erin, as she refuses to eat sausage, so she availed herself of some of Ellen’s pizza), so her health was already being accommodated. Meanwhile, both Erin and Kerstin were surprised to find themselves dealing with various internal disagreements with their indulgence; not sure if it was from the gluten or the lactose or whatever, but we may have to scratch the place off of any future plans going forward, much to my chagrin.
I wonder if it has anything to do with the female constitution, or if it’s just that it’s due to each of them having themselves on certain dietary restrictions that now really let them know about it when they violate their self-imposed rules. It seems weird to think so, as Kerstin is working on losing weight, just like I am, and Erin… well, I described her as ‘fit’ six years ago, and that assessment has only gotten more true as she once again trains for the Chicago Marathon. The idea that their systems would have difficulty dealing with this… it actually seems sad to me. One wants to be healthy in order to enjoy the ‘good things’ of life (whatever they may be); if that so-called ‘health’ precludes you from enjoying certain things you once did, it calls into question the whole purpose of the journey toward it.
***
Thankfully, this hasn’t posed a problem for myself (although I’m somewhat disappointed to realize that I will probably have to avoid deep dish pizza in the future for no other reason that there’s no one to share it with safely anymore). It may well be that this is aided by my omeprazole regimen, allowing me to avoid even such reactions as heartburn, but as I’m no doctor, I’m in no position to self-diagnose.
In any event, as gratifying as it might be to see the drop effected by a day and a half of complete abstinence, you needn’t worry about me contracting some variant of anorexia, any more than I’m in danger of becoming some type of gym rat (even though yes, I’m planning on stopping there this afternoon on the way home from the ‘office’ – I ought to shower before heading off to Sparks, and if so, I might as well give myself a worthwhile reason to have to do so). I broke my fast this morning but good; starting with a slice of the leftover Lou’s, followed by a ‘dessert’ of sweet cereal (I should tell you, any version of Japanese Kit-Kat would be better than its alleged cereal incarnation. Well… maybe not the soy sauce version…) That wasn’t enough, and I had some peanut butter on toast, finished off with a handful of blackberries and a banana. At least the second two courses were reasonably healthy, but I’m telling you now, I’m not about to check how many of those six pounds I clawed back in the course of that hour.
And now you know why I’ve decided to hit the gym… that, and I haven’t been there since last Thursday.
***
Well, I thought my mind – and keystrokes – would wander a bit further than all that. Guess that stream of consciousness had a lot more going for it than I expected. I had glimpsed a small creek diverging from the comment about the girls’ constitutions that I decided not to follow, for whatever reason.
But I could also go on about keeping my mind occupied yesterday afternoon (because I’ve learned that I often eat when I’m bored, and I really need to avoid that) by watching various videos wandering through Kabuki-cho late at night, which leave me really wanting to go back there and check the area out. It also annoys me that these videos have absolutely no commentary – I get that it allows the viewer to direct their attention anywhere, rather than having it pointed in one direction or another by the narrator behind the camera, but it gives the whole experience a certain soulless feel. And there are the folks standing outside so many of the establishments; there’s a sense that there’s a story behind each of them, but without context, you’ve no idea what’s going on.
And I did get into a few text conversations last night, as well. The girls, of course, but also, there was a girl I’ve been talking with on occasion on the dating app. I try to refrain from contacting her too often, lest I seem overly aggressive (or just too eager), but the times when she’s available to talk, I’m usually not thinking about contacting anyone, and when I’m at my most free (in the middle of any given weekday) is when she would be at work, and I know better than to disturb anyone in that situation. But we managed to connect last night, only for me to discover that she’s headed to Germany for a week or so over Oktoberfest – one of those ‘bucket list’ items, don’tcha know – with a stop in Basel on her way home. So… it looks like meeting up won’t be for a while yet. Well, at least I know what she’s up to. Maybe I should give her my phone number after all, so I can see photos.
Okay, I’ve probably gone on long enough for now. I’m going to let you go, honey, and get back to what little assignments I have for myself today. Keep an eye on me, and wish me luck. I’m going to need it.
Letters to Rachel 