Ignored Opportunity

Dearest Rachel –

It’s weird to realize that I’m talking to you about a prescription regimen that completely postdates you, but things are starting to get to that point. Logan expressed concern to me just the other about how he hoped that Daniel would be okay after consuming a bowl of instant udon that was past its expiry date – and I know for a fact that I bought it when Jan and I were shopping for cleaning supplies as part of the original housecleaning operation, so we’ve had it on hand for decidedly less than a thousand days.

But some things just don’t last all that long, after all.

Interestingly enough (or maybe not), both the udon and the medication were obtained from Costco – even though it’s not like I go there terribly often (apart from my making it my customary place to buy gas from; hey, I’ve got to make that membership pay off somehow). In fact, sometimes I have to be asked to go there by someone else before I darken the door of that place anymore.

In a way, it really shouldn’t come as any surprise. While you shopped there for the bargains availed by the economies of scale it afforded, I’ve been forced to conclude that those economies don’t really work for the two of us, even when you factor in that we have bigger appetites than you did, and thus your absence shouldn’t affect whether it’s still worth it to stock up there. The problem is, our tastes are a little more mercurial; we never know what we’re going to want, in terms of eating and the like. If we buy too much of anything – like the udon, for instance (it came in a package of six large bowls) – some (if not most or even all) of it is likely to sit around until it spoils or goes stale. So it’s just not as worthwhile for me to shop there, as a general rule.

Still, it was not too long ago – after returning from Japan, and, for whatever reason, being cut off of my prescriptions – that I was in the store proper, and discovered they carried omeprazole in the same dosage that I had been taking by prescription. So, I bought a box, and have been picking one up every five or six weeks since. It’s an excuse to drop in and check out what might be of interest every now and then, all while bearing in mind that Daniel and/or I really have to want what they have on offer.

That’s about it, when it comes to my interaction with the company these days. I’m sure you’d understand.

But just this past weekend, I’d been asked by Kerstin if I would be available to bring her there, so she could look for a few things. I guess this is something that you two would do from time to time; she lives near a Sam’s Club, so she has a membership there; you two would go there using her card (indeed, we used to stock up for Halloween and New Year’s events with her help, back when Daniel was little and we didn’t see the value in a warehouse club membership), and to Costco using hers. It’s a little more necessary for her to get the assistance at the moment, due to the fact that her car is still in the shop for repairs; not only did she need to avail herself of the card, but she needed a ride there to do so. But as I’m rarely doing much on Saturdays, I was more than willing to help out.

Indeed, it felt a little bit like days gone by, with her and me chatting with each other as we cased the place. It was the sort of thing that you and I used to do as we would make many such similar trips back in the day. It’s surprising that something as mundane as an errand like this can bring those kinds of memories back. But I suppose it really shouldn’t; you chose your friends by dint of them having a kernel of your own personality within them. Ellen has your inquisitive intellect in spades, Erin your seemingly boundless energy (although she pushes it to limits such that it’s not always so boundless when we get together), and Kerstin? Well, she’s a little less obvious. She has a bit of your easy laughter (although sometimes it seems forced these days – life has rarely gone easy on her, and I think your departure devastated her almost as much as it did me) and earthy sense of humor, but also a desire for more faith. Indeed, you might recall that she splits her church attendance between ours and another – which I think dismayed you, especially since, living right next to the Des Plaines campus, it might seem a no-brainer which one to stick with. But I’m sure she has her reasons, and I’m sure you understood and accepted that as well.

Anyway, she grabbed what she came there for – and a few other things, which concerned me, despite knowing it shouldn’t. Hey, I’m well aware that I’m an impulsive shopper myself, so I’ve no right to fault others who are, but when the tally comes to half a day’s pay, that’s not really a good thing. I even have to confess to adding fuel to the fire, as one of the things she came for (a jar of sauerkraut – I get it, she’s German, it’s part of her heritage, but I’m thoroughly glad I have nothing to do with it, apart from facilitating her purchase) I thought she might find better at a European grocery closer to her house. So we stopped there on our way back – and she proceeded to go a little crazy there as well, filling a basket (I made sure not to grab a cart, so as to limit her purchases) with various items of interest, declaring “This is my new favorite store!” and even offering to buy something for Daniel (which I talked her down from a single pricey bakery item to a handful of pre-packaged treats that were ridiculously marked down. You would have been proud). I’d thus contributed to her dropping another hour or two’s wages, and I rather felt badly about it, but she seemed happy enough.

If you were still around, the thought would never occur to me (and besides, it would be the two of you on a trip like this, and likely on a weekday, so I wouldn’t be involved), but I did find myself wondering about something I mentioned to you just a few days ago, and whether that relates to this situation. But… well, never mind.

This morning, as I was dealing with the usual morning preparations for the day, I finished brushing my teeth, and went to collect my pills… and I realized I was just about out of my omeprazole. Now, I was happy to leave my blood pressure medication behind – especially since I no longer seemed to have an issue with that ailment – but I really don’t want to experience another heartburn episode like the one that put me on these pills in the first place. And yet… here I am, with only a handful left, when I had the opportunity to restock my supply just the other day.

Now, it isn’t as if I don’t have the time; and it’s not like the warehouse isn’t but a couple miles from the ‘office,’ but it’s just the fact that I ignored the opportunity while I was there – or maybe I was just oblivious. Either way, it’s not a particularly good look, now, is it?

Anyway, I’ve got to get on with my day, pill or no pill. Keep an eye on me, honey, and wish me luck – I’m going to need it.