Only in Fairy Tales

Dearest Rachel –

Every so often, someone tells me that “oh, don’t worry; God has someone out there for you.” And, as much as I like hearing that, and I’d like to believe that, I really don’t dare – and I rather wish they would stop (to be fair, it’s tapered off over time, so perhaps I’m starting to get my wish, whether I want to or not). There’s a danger in believing stuff like this, without a confirming word from the One these people are claiming to speak for; we start to think we’re entitled to a, ah, ‘happy ending,’ if you will.

This, despite the fact that we know that such things exist only in fairy tales – and, come to that, are glossed over with but a single sentence even in those. Seriously, what happens to the princess and her prince once they’ve said “I do” and gone on with their allegedly happy lives? Don’t they have to deal with various difficulties, both between the two of them and – since the prince has the responsibility to rule his principality wisely and justly – in the world that surrounds them? Sure, they have wealth and power barely imaginable to the average peasant telling these tales to their children (and perhaps, as a result, they wouldn’t be able to go into what their lives would be like once they ride off into the sunset toward his castle), but there’s more to their remaining lives that “and they all lived happily ever after.”

Let’s not forget that so many of those same fairy tales begin with Our Heroine having to deal with (say it with me) her ‘evil stepmother,’ and usually her evil stepsisters, to boot. It’s possible that I could, for my own part, take this as a good sign, insofar as the father figure managed to secure himself a new wife – but in that, it also clearly offers a cautionary sign that said father, in his haste to do so, did not properly assess his new bride’s character, especially in light of the daughter (or, in some cases, his whole family) he was still responsible for. One might be able to understand him for thinking with something other than his brain on the subject, but that doesn’t serve as an excuse.

Likewise, I must confess to a certain amount of concern that I not become the spear counterpart of such a woman. I’m not particularly eager to take on additional quasi-parental responsibilities, and while I suppose that, if I cared enough for the woman I might someday pledge myself to, I should be willing to do so out of that same reservoir of love for her, letting it spill out and wash over her progeny, I have yet to get to that point, and am still hoping that I can find someone who neither has nor wants children at this point (although, if she were to be around my age, that latter would be pretty much considered a moot point by now). Daniel’s not the handful he once was – he’s almost able to be on his own, for the most part, especially given the wherewithal he’s received from you and your family – but I’m decidedly unsure about repeating the experience, particularly at this stage in my life. I don’t think I could truly be malign to anyone, but even benign neglect is still neglect. It’s probably something I need to work on, even if I could find someone without children or the desire to have any.

But back to our protagonist, and her rescuer – and by the way, don’t those stories just grate on “modern audiences,” to see a young woman needing to be ‘rescued’ by some prince, or even needing a prince at all? For all the love given to Disney princesses over the years, it must be galling to certain people that their story isn’t complete until they find themselves a man. I guess this is why they’re all being re-written and re-made, with the girl taking charge of her own life; who needs love and happiness, when you’re the girl-boss in charge?

After all, God may have said “it is not good that man should be alone,” but He never said anything similar about the female of the species. And it seems that many of them have decided that, for them, it is good – or at least, better than the alternative.

As glad as I am that you didn’t subscribe to that belief, I’m starting to wonder what to do with the rest of my life, and whether I’m searching for someone who no longer exists. Those with history also have baggage, while those without are generally content with their lot, and wouldn’t dream of changing it. Indeed, the world celebrates them for making it on their own – which, admittedly, is an admirable feat. So much so, that I have no desire for that kind of life, myself – but do I have a choice?

Then again, I got the chance to live a “happily ever after” life with you, however briefly. The real question now is, what happened after “happily ever”?

Until that answer comes, honey, keep an eye on me, and wish me luck. I’m going to need it.