Hamstrung

Dearest Rachel –

I’m hoping it hasn’t come to this; since I’ve never really experienced an injury like this before, I don’t know what it feels like. I don’t want to claim I’m suffering something that’s so much worse in reality than what I’m dealing with. For all I know, this could be nothing more than a simple strain. But as everything is upon the first time you experience it, the sensation is more intense than upon successive incidences; everything is more wonderful – or more painful the first time around.

So it is with what might be a hamstring pull… or it might just be a Charley horse.

***

I was well into the fourth phase of my usual fitness routine – a little bit of weight machine work on both my arms and legs to warm myself in for the now usual seven minutes on the rowing machine, followed by some thirty-five minutes on the stationary bike – and was just about to start on the treadmill.

I should probably digress here to explain how I choose which treadmill to work out on. I generally try not to work right next to a woman, lest I be seen as trying too hard to ‘inadvertently’ get close to them. It’s the same mentality that informs the ‘man code’ in bathroom settings; you always leave a buffer between you and the next guy. Yesterday, this wasn’t an issue, as none of the treadmills were in use, so I had my pick. I usually get on the second one from the right, as they have an oscillating fan set where the bikes leave off and the treadmills begin. Normally, that’s near enough for a refreshing breeze, but not so close as to be chilly.

Normally.

Yesterday, however, for whatever reason, the fan seemed slightly stronger than usual, and I decided I was getting too much wind from the fan on my preferred machine. Logically, this meant I ought to move one more over to the left. So I hopped off the machine I had originally chosen (wiping it down as I left, as I was still sweating from my workout on the exercise cycle), and moved to mount the third treadmill from the right…

…only to stub my left foot on the side of the machine, causing me to tumble onto my backside as I attempted to avoid actually falling on the machine. A girl on the nearest exercise bike called out, “Are you okay?”

“I’m not… sure…” I responded hesitantly. I didn’t feel a thing in my toes, which was where I expected to be quite sore after hitting it hard enough for me to tumble like that. But behind my knee, and points further south, that was a different story. The muscles there felt like they had seized up, not unlike when I might wake up in the middle of the night with a leg cramp. Such cramps didn’t happen to me often, and usually went away within a few minutes of non-activity, so I found myself just sitting there, hoping it would go away so that I could get up and finish my workout.

It didn’t.

I eventually hoisted myself to my feet, anyway – there was no point in sitting there forever – and was forced to accept that there was no way I was going to spend any time on that treadmill, regardless of how much breeze I might get from the fan. I left the weight room and made my way downstairs to the car.

It was then that I realized how severe this injury was; while I could walk with only a slight limp, going down stairs was another matter. I literally could not step down with my left leg, as it meant I would have to put all my weight on it as I then moved down to the next step with my right, and the pain absolutely forbid me from doing that. Instead, I would step down with my right leg, bring my left to the same stair to join it, and repeat the process until I reached the ground floor…

…only to remember that in my haste to leave, I had left my gym bag and my jeans upstairs in the locker room, and would have to make my way back up there to retrieve them. Oddly enough, my left leg allowed me to walk upstairs almost normally, as long as I held onto the rail so I didn’t have all my weight on my left side as I brought my right leg up, but it was still an excruciating process. And while I may be overdramatizing it – someone more familiar with the aches and pains of overexertion would probably tell me to suck it up, as it’s not nearly such as big deal as it is – I had never felt any such thing before.

The pain – and the distraction caused by it – also meant that I forgot to keep a promise I had made to my sister to pick up a few deliveries that had arrived at her door that afternoon. She and her husband are cruising for their twenty-fifth anniversary – just like you and I did only a few years ago – and since she wasn’t able to get them into the house, she tasked me with the responsibility, which I agreed to do when I was heading home either from the ‘office’ or the gym, depending on whether I went to work out. Only, the events that had me leaving the gym early completely forced that errand from my mind. Thanks heavens she texted me, asking whether I’d taken care of the pickup, and whether the correct number of boxes had arrived; I didn’t bother to text her back until I’d fetched them, and placed them securely inside their house.

***

Now, after a night’s rest and a moment to review the situation, I’ve learned that, whatever it is I’m dealing with, it’s not a hamstring pull. Those muscles are in the upper part of the leg, between the hip and knee; what I’m dealing with extends from the knee to about halfway to the ankle.

And for the most part, I don’t feel much in the way of pain. Whether sitting, standing or lying down, I can almost believe that everything’s back to normal. But then, I try to walk, and it all falls apart – as do I. Oh, it’s not as awful as that first trip down those long stairs in the fitness center; I can actually step down with my left foot when making my way downstairs in our house (albeit by leaning heavily on the railing to the left, so I’m more supporting myself on in than my leg). But it’s still reminding me that things aren’t normal yet, and may not be for some time.

Kind of like everything else in life, I suppose.

And with that in mind, honey, keep an eye on me, and wish me luck. I’m going to need it.