Bitter Bachelor

Dearest Rachel –

I honestly don’t know how these sorts of things pop up in my YouTube feed. It might be understandable that, based on some of the things that Daniel watches and listens to, my feed would pop up with ‘you might also be interested in…’ kinds of recommendations, but he insists that he doesn’t generally use my account when he’s watching his pundits or prophets. And that’s generally borne out by the fact that I don’t see too many of them in my feed, apart from the very occasional Lotus Eater or Liberal Hivemind video being offered.

But that begs the question; where did this guy and his channel come from on my list of suggested videos? The channel’s name is ‘Better Bachelor,’ and it’s hosted podcast-style by a guy who simply refers to himself as ‘Joker.’ Not the Joker, mind you – this guy wouldn’t have room for the greasepaint on his bearded face (although I suppose there’s plenty of room upstairs, as he’s the sort who would benefit being able to ‘rotate the crop,’ as it were). He looks more like he ought to be wielding an axe rather than a microphone – and his beard might be able to split a few logs on its own strength, come to think of it. He comes off as fairly self-effacing, introducing himself as having “a face for radio, and a voice for print.” You might dispute his assessment of his voice; he might not be any ManlyBadassHero, but it’s got that certain steady, baritone quality to it. It’s worth a listen when you don’t want to watch something with too much in the way of visuals, like most of the videos we indulge in.

But I’m not sure about the content…

You might think that, with a channel name like ‘Better Bachelor,’ it might be advice about how to handle the double duty that single women talk about – you know, the balance between work and life, keeping up with things at home at the same time that you’re dealing with the occupational rat race (since guys are stereotypically maladroit at that sort of thing, and stereotypes tend to grow out of a grain of truth, after all), that sort of thing. Maybe it would focus on how to grow yourself out of the status of bachelor, by offering ways to become better men, and thus more attractive (if not entirely physically; some things can’t always be helped, but an improved self-image and wit are things that can be learned and do improve your chances – or so I’m told) to women.

But no. The best I can ascertain, the ‘better’ part of the name has to do with an underlying attitude of “trust me, boys, you are so much better off as bachelors. Don’t have anything to do with women today.” The women he cites seem at best to have no use for men (except perhaps as ATMs, I guess), but once men decide to return the favor, they get bent out of shape. To Joker, this seems to be karmic justice; they’re getting what they asked for, why are they so mad about it?

I’m not saying there aren’t women like this; indeed, the fact that he may be more right than wrong is what scares me about my prospects going forward. The interview with various young women about what they insist on in a man is worrisome, for both sides: these girls are expecting to land someone in the one percent (or less), and the guys they might snag will probably have no hope of a secure future with any of these girls, should they falter in any of their laundry list of demands (looks, earning power, pliability). Another one, where a woman leaves her man because she’s stressed out by his fight against a stage four cancer diagnosis (and then plans to run a marathon to support a charity fighting that same form of cancer in his name – but not to help him with his own personal battle – which brings her plaudits from various news outlets, but a mixed reaction in the comments section) really is mind-blowing. But are these outliers, or is this the (I hate the phrase, but it’s called for) ‘new normal’?

I don’t know. I suspect that Joker may have gotten shredded in an acrimonious divorce at some point in his life, and considers it his duty to warn his fellow man that “what happened to me could happen to you, boys; best thing to do is to stay away from these monsters altogether. Here’s what they say about us; when they tell you who they are, believe them.” I’m sure he thinks he’s doing a public service, and there’s no doubt that these kind of women exist, and in distressingly great quantities.

But I wonder if he didn’t mis-name his channel. All it would take to correct it is a single vowel.

***

When we were out walking yesterday, I told Lars about this channel (among a lot of other things going on in life; there’s a lot of catching up we still have to do since I’ve gotten back. He mentioned a group of men – older ones, in particular – with attitudes similar to that of Joker, complete with situations like having been burned several times in divorces that would color their opinion of women toward the negative side. He couldn’t remember the name (or at least the acronym) of the group until we sat down together for lunch afterwards; something along the lines of ‘men going their own way.’ When we looked it up on Wikipedia, we were both dismayed to find that it’s categorized as “alt-right,” and a “misogynistic” offshoot of the “white supremacist movement.”

Considering that most of the examples Joker brings up are white women, I’m not seeing the connection; then again, if certain individuals can be proclaimed to be the black face of white supremacy, I guess anything is possible. I’ve been reliably informed by certain governmental figures that even things such as roads and smog are racist somehow, so it’s certainly possible that protecting oneself from getting burned a third time in what’s supposed to be a permanent romantic relationship could be considered such – at least, assuming the guy trying to protect himself is white. I’m not sure how it works if he’s something else.

Then again, Wikipedia and other forms of online media have this tendency to label a lot of things this way; ‘racism’ and ‘fascism’ seem to translate as ‘anything we disagree with’ sometimes. Sooner or later, everything will fall under one or both of those umbrellas, and at that point, nothing will qualify as either, since the terms would be so dilute. I just don’t appreciate this indiscriminate labelling, even though I’m not familiar with the movement…

Huh. Looks like I’m starting to sound as bitter as Joker.

Best keep an eye on me, honey, and wish me luck; I’m going to need it.