The Difficulties in the Dark

Dearest Rachel –

Yesterday, even as she arrived and got started on cleaning up the house, Kris commented on how much she hated the fact that things were so dark and gray that morning. And to think, she was so much more motivated than either of us would be on a day like that; how much less so were Daniel and I (and you would be) on such a day!

Whatever you can say for the winter months, they do very little for motivation. The mornings aren’t the sort that find sunlight streaming in through the windows, urging one to get on with the day. On the contrary, one can look outside, and feel the desire to go right back to bed, regardless of the fact that one might have just finished putting in one’s full eight hours. The view outside is cold and gray, and as far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t exactly encourage one to go out there and do anything.

It might be a little different if there was snow on the ground; a layer of white, reflecting what little light comes from above, might serve as some encouragement to start the day. Even what precipitation might fall would be in the form of relatively dry, goose feather flakes, which can be brushed aside as one crunches their way across the accumulation en route to the car. But at that point, you’re dealing with the literally freezing cold, leaving you to consider how you’d rather just stay inside where it’s warm, and hope that what all those panicking politicos keep screaming about in terror might just come to pass. Come December (to say nothing of January and February), global warming can’t get here soon enough.

Today is a step in that direction, to be sure; there’s no snow on the ground, and the mercury is fighting to climb above forty degrees. However, the cold drizzle coming down from the solid gray dome above us is just one more bit of meteorological disincentive against starting the day.

Such are the days as we progress toward the official start of winter; that dark, cold time of year where there’s so much to do (because of Christmas and the other associated holidays) and yet, so little motivation.


As Kris mentioned, yesterday was no better. I’d mentioned about how, since I was home in order to make sure she was paid, I also wanted to get Daniel set up with a checking account, so he can take care of his own bills going forward (not that he has that many to deal with, thankfully). The only problem was that, by the time Kris was finished, paid and out of the house – and all the things Daniel was wanting to listen to had played out – he was fast asleep. For all I know, he may have to do some catching up this afternoon while I’m out at the ‘office.’ So, we didn’t get a particularly good jump on the task.

Once at the bank, we weren’t as well-prepared at I’d thought. I had the number of his new investment account, so as to link it to his checking account. What I hadn’t thought to bring was his social security number, and I spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to find any notes about it in one email or another before Daniel realized he’d left a note for himself and provided it to the banking administrator. From there, she asked us for his employment history, which he doesn’t have (apart from a couple of non-paying for-credit internships during high school and college, for which he couldn’t recall his supervisors or academic liaison – nor could I; I wonder if you would have even known); I get that there’s a desire on the bank’s part that he have some source of income, but I’m puzzled as to why the investment account isn’t considered sufficient.

Anyway, by the time everything was sorted out, it was already dark outside. Time to call it a night. Moreover, while he’s required to have a certain minimal amount in the account, it was already after five o’clock at headquarters, and therefore, they couldn’t make the transfer from his investment account; the advisor gave us a phone number to call this morning instead, at which point, they would presumably take care of everything that couldn’t have been last night. We thanked her for her time (which was quite a bit, after all) and left for home.

However, even with my own morning lethargy, when I gave the bank a call, all I wound up talking to was a voice mail box; this, several hours after they were supposed to be open for business. I left a message, but only ever got a response to an email I sent to our usual advisors in Akron. Seems I’m not the only one having a hard time getting started today. Maybe it’s just as gray in northern Ohio as it is here?

Anyway, I guess that’s how it is as we make our way toward winter; it’s just death for motivation, isn’t it? For now, keep an eye on us, honey, and wish us luck. We’re going to need it.

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I am Rachel's husband. Was. I'm still trying to deal with it. I probably always will be.

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