“Ssssoooo…” the voice to my left hissed into my ear, smug and self-satisfied, “how was your weekend with the LAY-deeeez?” There was a singsong note to his question, as if he was mocking me about it – which, let’s face it, he was. He’d conned me into agreeing to go up to camp, every bit as much as I’d been convinced it was the ‘right thing to do.’
I gritted my teeth as I gripped the steering wheel just that little bit tighter. “As if you didn’t already know… you’re at my shoulder all the time, aren’t you?”
“Well, of course I am… but I just wanna hear you say it. C’mon… how’d it go? Any cuties talk to you? D’jyu talk to anyone?”
“No, and no!” I snapped. “It wasn’t the right time, and it’s not like anyone could see me, with my hands in cold soapy water, trying to scrub the grease out of a bunch of pans.
“Are ya happy now?!”
“Mm…” the voice paused, as if weighing the question. “I’m satisfied, anyway. I told you you’d have fun, sure, but you bought it. Not my fault if you don’t know how to make lemonade out of something like this.”
“You could have tried a few more things, yes… and maybe mingled a little more.” This time, the voice came from my right.
I arched an eyebrow as I shifted my focus to this new voice. “You know, it’s very disorienting when the two of you agree.”
“Who says we agree?” this second voice huffed. “Yes, we both convinced you to go up to camp – but for very different reasons. Yes, we both think you could have done and said more to the guests, but –”
For a moment, all I heard was the car motor as I continued to make my way south. “But…?” I pressed.
“Okay, yes, we agree about these things. We have very different motives, though.”
“That hardly seems to matter.”
“Look, you found yourself more miserable than you had to be; you really need to stop moping around in the cabin and talk to people. I really think it would do you good.”
“And you’re at my shoulder twenty-four/seven, too – you should know by now this isn’t my jam.”
“No, that’s true, and that’s the real point. Sure, you could have gotten out more, done few new things, met a person or two, but that wasn’t what you were here for,” the voice to my right opined. “Remember, you were up there to help out, and you managed to do that. And that’s what counts.
“For what it’s worth,” and the voice dropped to a confidential tone, “I think she would have been proud of you.”
I mulled that phrasing over in my mind. “Wait… you think? You have access to heaven, don’t you? Wouldn’t you know?”
“Well, I… uh…” The hesitation was impossible to ignore.
“Ahhh, he ain’t got any more access to heaven than I do. Remember? Twenty-four/seven? Yeah, you keep his hands full just as much as mine.”
“That’s not it!” It’s weird hearing one’s angel lose his temper. He seemed to realize what he had done, too, as he paused, took a deep breath to calm himself, and continued. “It’s like this; heaven is a big place. There’s a lot to do and see – and it’s not as if time even moves the same way you perceive it. It’s… hard to explain.
“The thing is – and you already kind of know this, so it shouldn’t come as any great shock – I can’t guarantee that she’s even aware of everything you’re doing these days. Ah-ah! I know, you wrote to her about everything, but that doesn’t mean she reads it, or even has the opportunity to do so.
“What you’re doing here is, for the most part, fairly insignificant in comparison to eternity. Of course, it could contribute to someone’s eternal destiny, and that’s why it’s so important that you did what you did. If nothing else, it may be that there will be another person for her to greet some day, and you had a part in it. That’s why I think she’d be pleased at what you did.
“But is she aware of it right now? …probably not. And you should already know this.”
I sighed heavily. “Yeah, yeah, I know. It’s still a little disappointing to think so. I wish I could get her reaction directly about something like this.
“Anyway, it’s over and done with, so could you two clear off for a bit, while I deal with driving home? There’s nothing particularly moral or immoral about that.”
“Hey, it all depends on whether and where you plan to stop,” Before I could question him about the morality of an A&W cheeseburger, the voice to my left threw me a curve. “There’s that adult bookstore just outside Racine, ya know…”
“I think you promised to get Daniel some cheddar jack cheese while you were up here in Wisconsin,” the voice to my right swiftly cut in. “Perhaps Mars Cheese Castle might have something, if the place outside camp has no knowledge of the blend? If I’m not mistaken, it’s part of why you stayed last night, instead of going straight home after last night’s fireworks…”
“Yeah, those were cool,” I agreed.
“Anyway, yeah. Mars sounds like a good idea, assuming they’re open today,” I grin “Nice to hear the two of you disagreeing again. Less moral ambiguity to try to deal with.”
“Uhhh…” I hear, in stereo. It’s all I can do to keep from laughing.
Letters to Rachel 