When the Beings on My Shoulders Both Agree

Dearest Rachel –

You’re familiar with the trope, most commonly used in cartoons and comics, of the angel and the devil on a character’s shoulders, each persuading the character toward right and wrong, respectively. We would recognize them as the pulls of conscience and desire, if not specifically sensing separate entities arguing with our own mind in our daily life. But once in a while, you can almost perceive a separateness, an ‘other’-ness about them and their arguments, to the point where they and their points don’t seem to be coming from yourself. And there is that ‘blue moon’ situation where they agree with each other, more or less, but neither one agrees with you.

That’s where I found myself last night, as I was going through my emails before wandering off to bed. It seems the women’s retreat up at camp next weekend needs volunteers to help with setup, cooking, cleaning… the usual stuff. Specifically, however, they are looking for male volunteers to do the work. And while there were some jokes on previous weekends – since the church is understandably trying to promote the event – about how husbands couldn’t sneak in and check on their wives while they were at this retreat, this seems to be just that sort of thing that would allow them to do exactly that.

Or, in my case…

“You should go up there, and check them out! Aren’t you interested in meeting women at your own church, rather than dealing with all this online nonsense like you have?” The voice to my left was not something I was expecting to hear, and the fact that there was no one alongside me made it all the more puzzling.

Then, to my right, a different, but similar voice. “He’s right…”

“Eh?! Whaddya mean, I’m right?” the voice to my left interrupted. “Aren’t I supposed to be the voice of wrong?!”

In the small silence that followed, I could sense the heat of anger passing from my right to my left. It would seem that the angel on my shoulder (if indeed that’s what this conversation was between) was giving its evil counterpart a glare that might kill in other circumstances, before sighing heavily and continuing. “His motives are selfish and inappropriate, yes, but I think it’s something you need to do as well. It’s a role that needs fulfilling in any event, and you don’t make an effort to converse with anyone at church. In fact, even when you’re serving, you’re hiding out in that little booth so you can’t converse with anyone. You need to get out of your comfort zone.”

“Well, going up to camp would certainly be that,” I retorted. “You do know there’s history between us, right? This is where she… well, you know…”

“Yes, yes… and yet, you continue to make an effort to serve there. Just not there there.”

“Well, yeah. I don’t know if you’ve figured it out, but even without that bit of history, I’m no camper. This is not something I want any part of.”

“But they need you, or someone like you.”

“Then send someone like me instead!” I snapped.

“But then, you miss out on all those girrrrls,” purred the voice on my left. “They say the way to someone’s heart is through their stomach, y’know…”

“That’s a man’s heart, dummy… but it’s not a bad idea as far as where to work.” I still could see no one to either side of me, but I could practically hear the gears turning. “You keep saying that you need to be able to cook for more than just yourself, or even the two of you. Here’s where you can put in a little more effort, and have it spread among a whole group of people – one of whom might even, someday…”

Unlike them, I couldn’t produce an auditory component to my reaction, but I could feel my eyes rolling at all this. When both the angel and devil on my shoulders are ganging up against me, what am I supposed to do? “Look, guys… let me sleep on it, and I’ll contact the church in the morning, and see what’s involved. Maybe I’ll go, maybe I won’t. Just… stop the chatter for now, okay? I need to get some rest.”

“You got it, buddy, and don’t worry. You won’t regret this.” A slight weight suddenly lifted.

“You’re doing a good thing, Randy. Just being there will accomplish something. And even if he’s being selfish about it, we might be able to use it for something. Look, it’s not like I’ve been let in on the plan, either, but the Boss has one for you, okay? For all I know, this might very well be a part of it. So let’s roll with it for the moment, all right? If it’s not part of it, He’ll close that door Himself.”

And with that, the weight on my right lifted as well, but not before I heard one last suggestion; “In the meantime, you might want to stock up on sauces…”

What… ?

Looks like you’re going to need to keep an eye on me, honey, and wish me luck… I’m really gonna need it.