from Rachel: Not So Well With My Soul

What do Genesis 1:3, 6, 9, 11, 14, 20, 24 reveal about how God uses words?

“He uses words to make thoughts into reality/substance.”

Proverbs 18:21 describe two distinct outcomes of our words. What are they?

“Life and death.”

What are some words that breathe life into you?

“Special, blessing, friend, best, love, precious, cherish”

What words throw a shroud of death over you?

“Dork, klutzy, stupid, fool, foolish, idiot, imbecile, moron, silly”

My words can bring (life words):

“Special blessing”

My words can lead to (death words):

“Klutzy foolishness”

Compile a thesaurus for the various biblical characters in these passages. Noticed that most of the identifying contents begin with “I am.”

Genesis 24:24 – I am “daughter of Bethuel”

Genesis 24:34 – I am “Abraham’s servant”

Genesis 27:2 – I am “now an old man…”

Genesis 29:33 – I am “not loved…”

Exodus 4:10 – I am “slow of speech and tongue”

Song of Songs 1:5 – I am “dark, yet lovely.”

Why do you think Moses chose that “I am”(Exodus 4:10)?

“He felt it was the one that would impede his ability to do what God was commanding. / It was the most relevant excuse.”

What else do you know about Moses that could have identified him?

“Adopted prince, murderer, shepherd, husband, father”

Now peek into the Psalmist’s thesauros and fill in the “I am’s” to see if he did the same.

Psalm 86:2 – I am “devoted to You”

Psalm 139:14 – I am “fearfully and wonderfully made”

In the blanks below, name some nouns that describe you-wife, daughter, and so forth:

I am… “wife, mother, daughter, friend, servant, dog walker, gamer, crocheter/knitter, couch potato”

Now list adjectives that characterize you – fun, smart, impatient and so forth:

I am… “loving, fun, purple, genuine, lazy, alternately selfish and selfless, chatty”

Circle the categories below that best represent the types of words you used to identify yourself.

  • “Positive
  • “Truthful
  • “Neutral
  • “Realistic
  • “Condemning?
  • “Scolding?
  • “Kind?
  • “Cheerful?

What does 1 Corinthians 15:10 say about your identity?

“I am what I am by the grace of God.”

[starred for emphasis] Who I am and what I struggle with are not the same thing.

Dearest Rachel –

I hadn’t realized until I was just about to put this together that I had emptied out all the days that you had written in Angela Thomas’ “Stronger” study volume, so I’ve moved on to another book; this one being “Me, Myself and Lies” by Jennifer Rothschild, about – of all things – a ‘thought closet’ makeover. Considering the difficulties involved in getting a literal such makeover done for you, this one may have been a challenge – or not, since it’s more figurative than literal.

I think the point of this particular study is about the lies we tell ourselves about ourselves, and how we convince ourselves that we are not necessarily worth God’s time and effort. I never thought that you had much of a problem with this, but I may be proven wrong about how much insecurity you had about yourself; I don’t know.

This particular chapter doesn’t include a lot of major revelations about yourself; at the same time, you seem to be aware of a few internal contradictions, where you alternate between selfish and selfless. But then, don’t we all suffer from similar such contradictions in our own personality? Thus far, it doesn’t seem to be much for you to beat yourself up over – and even if there were, the whole point will likely be that God loves you and considers you important (and worthy of love and, more importantly, saving) regardless of what you may think of yourself, and that’s as good of news as there is. Especially seeing as how it’s still how I know I’ll be able to see you again.

Until then, honey, be well. Keep an eye on us; we’ll need it.

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I am Rachel's husband. Was. I'm still trying to deal with it. I probably always will be.

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