from Rachel: Believing God Loves You

[starred] There are people in great need who decide to become great at being needy. It’s easier to stay needy than take hold of the power to change.

[starred] There is no “enough” for us with God. Good enough. Kind enough. Generous enough. We do not earn His love because we have finally become enough. We are not disqualified from His love because we could never be enough.

How would you explain to a new believer what Tozer was saying?

“Our impressions of and attitudes about God shape our lives, affect our behavior, and impact our personalities.”

Finish this sentence: “God shows His love for us in that…

“…while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

How is the idea that you are unique in your sin an expression of misguided pride?

“Even as we know the sin is evil and a form of figuratively spitting in God’s face in defiance, we still feel proud of ourselves for being special and clever in our method of doing so. (I am ashamed to say I totally get this and fit this and feel like, of the few who share my knowledge, I was probably the only one with a two-year-old son on the autism spectrum).”

If you haven’t already, are you now willing to believe in God’s love? Will you turn your focus from the lies and toward the glorious truth of God’s Word? To believe God is a decision that changes everything.

“I did so (eleven) years before my biggest sin. I know He forgave my past, present, and future sins when I asked Jesus to come into my heart April 22, 1984.”

Why don’t you take a minute to tell God you believe He loves you. Write your thoughts.

“Thank You God for loving me. Thank You for always making me feel like the apple of Your eye – special and precious. Thank You for always making me feel safe and protected and loved. You’re awesome!”

Dearest Rachel –

There’s a lot going on in this chapter; some I know about, some I’m not sure, given the passage of time, and some that I can only guess about.

I’m fairly sure about your starring the first passage mentioned; you had a knack of finding those who needed that extra grace to deal with – and kept needing it, never growing out of it. The two I can think of offhand may have long since moved away, but they were never completely out of your life – which could be a testament to your patience, or an indictment of my lack thereof, as I’ve not had any dealings with them since your passing.

I’m less sure about the next passage you starred (although, now that I look at the picture, I realize I cut out the margin, so you can’t see the star, and you didn’t underline the paragraph like you did the one before). Maybe it’s just that this is so true, and you made a note of it to remind you once again. There are so many things that we need reminders of; deep in the back of our mind, we know these things, but for most of our waking hours, the knowledge is only background noise that we barely acknowledge, let alone notice or pay attention to.

I know you had no intention of sharing that parenthetical remark detailing your own struggle with a sense of pride toward your unique circumstances (and I’m a little confused about them, as Daniel was well into his teens at the time you were doing this study), but I’d look at this as a case of ‘admitting you have a problem’ that is foundational in twelve-step programs, and the sort of understanding that Jesus Himself required for people to come to Him – He couldn’t heal those who refused to admit their infirmities, after all.

It does put an interesting spin on the concept of ‘original’ sin, though; we all want to think our circumstances are special, don’t we? As if that mitigates or excuses them in any way.

As for your biggest sin, well, I realize I’ve posted this passage here previously. Time has erased the details from my memory – you might be able to remind me, were you still here, but since you aren’t, it’s no longer either here or there. I will continue to remain mum on my suspicions, but you already know that you’re forgiven for it and everything else, and there’s little else that needs to be said on the matter.

Until later, honey, take care.

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I am Rachel's husband. Was. I'm still trying to deal with it. I probably always will be.

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