Question to consider: Real servants make themselves available to serve; pay attention to needs; do their best with what they have; do every task with equal dedication; and are faithful to the tax they have been given. Which of the five characteristics of real servants is the most challenging for me?
“(six – maintain a low profile)”
“I think the most challenging for me is ‘do their best with what they have.’ Yesterday’s list shows I don’t feel skilled, gifted, or even capable and all too many areas. I don’t think I get hung up on how much better someone else could do it, just on how uncomfortable and even panicky I feel trying to do new and scary things.
“Lord, my first thought for a prayer is ‘please don’t make me do any new and scary things.’ But then I think of the frog who if dropped in boiling water hops out, but if warmed slowly doesn’t mind it. So Lord, if you want me someplace new and uncomfortable, please find a way to ease me in – to warm me up to it.”
Dearest Rachel –
I have to admit, I’m not so sure about the choice of analogy at the end. After all, in that metaphor, the frog that is gradually warmed up eventually ends up boiling to death, right? Then again, I suppose that’s something that Jesus may call some of us to do at some point in our lives; martyrs are made even unto this day, although they seem (especially in a nation like ours, that supposedly prides itself on religious freedom) like a distant possibility, quite literally.
That having been said, I have to agree that I wouldn’t wish to be thrust into a scenario that’s new and uncomfortable any more than you did. And yet, here I am.
I think we both realized that one of us was going to face this situation sooner or later, and that it was going to be a new and scary phase of our life, but I’m pretty sure that neither of us saw it coming this soon – and this definitely was not a case of being ‘eased into’ it. It’s not the first time that God has enacted His plan in contravention to our own wishes; you recall that neither of us felt capable of – and, by extension, did not wish for – the role of parent. When it turned out that we were going to be, regardless of whether we thought we were ready for or capable of it, we then figured we would be better prepared to deal with a daughter, and asked for one accordingly. Nope. God had other plans. It’s ultimately why we named him Daniel; ‘God is my judge.’
It’s up to Him to make these decisions, and we are meant to adapt to them. We’re allowed to ask why – and at times, He’s gracious enough to let us figure it out – but there’s no guarantee that we will.
Still, were it not for him, I doubt that either of us would’ve gotten involved in Awana, or that you would’ve had such a presence in such roles as the nursery, where you had so much impact on others to both of our generation, and the ones following us. And while you may not have felt qualified in those roles, there’s no doubt that you had an impact. Whether that’s an adequate answer to the question of ‘why,’ I couldn’t say. All I can say is you took the situation you were given, and ran with it, and served in it.
Now, I guess it’s up to me to figure out what He wants me to do with this new situation He’s thrown me into, and how I can serve him in it. May I be able to do it willingly, and without anger toward Him for forcing it upon me.
Wish me luck, honey; I’m going to need it.