Good Charlotte

Dearest Rachel –

It would seem that our resident spider is back again, or perhaps her progeny.

I don’t always – or even often – see her there, but she’s something of a fixture in the master bathroom. We have occasionally seen spiders there throughout the time we’ve owned this house. Why the master bathroom, in particular, is a mystery; It’s not as if there’s more insects in that room than anywhere else in the house. For that matter, this isn’t the time of year where any insects are likely to be found anywhere in the house. But it’s a free country, and a spider is welcome to set up housekeeping wherever she pleases.

More so in our house than most, in fact. You always made a point of not letting me do anything about the spiders. “They take care of the other insects,” you would always tell me, imploring me not to kill them. And with that being said – and understanding that most other insects are much more of nuisances than spiders – I went along with your request, and let Charlotte be. If she could catch the mosquitoes we couldn’t, more power to her.

Besides, that way, she did our dirty work for us. There are people who could be described as ‘not willing to hurt a fly,’ and you were one of those people. If ever you were able, you would try to catch them in your hand, carry them to the door, and throw them outside. Of course, that was easier said than done, and so, leaving the bugs for the spiders to take care of was the simpler alternative. Let nature take its course, and rid the house of pests the way God intended. Although… you did make an exception for mosquitoes: for the life of you, you could not figure out what earthly purpose they served in the great chain of being, and saw no need to bother finding out. You were fine with killing them.

Now in all honesty, I don’t know what Charlotte here is going to be eating from now until summer comes; she’s going to get very hungry between now and then, I shouldn’t wonder. But that’s her problem to deal with; I’m not about to go hunting for insects to put in her web just so she has something to eat until the season for insects comes into full force. Gotta let nature take its course, after all.

But hey, if you want to wish her luck, go right ahead. She’ll probably need it for now, too.

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I am Rachel's husband. Was. I'm still trying to deal with it. I probably always will be.

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