No Great Surprise

Dearest Rachel –

So here it is, three in the morning, and I’m lying in bed awake. Considering that I nodded off in the rocking chair yesterday, and then went to bed at a quarter to ten, this really should come as no great surprise. Of course I should still be adjusting to the time difference, and there’s absolutely no shame in that.

But while I’m not expected to hit the ground running first thing, there are things I do need to get done today, and it will not do for me to have been awake for so long already, only to be falling asleep when I’m actually needed. So I feel I still need to get some more sleep right now so that I can keep going during the evening.

But I’m not really sure if I can do that at this point. All I can do is lie here in the middle of our darkened bedroom, and hope I can fall asleep again soon.

And while talking to you like this is probably the last thing I need to be doing, there are some tactics that you and I both arrived at independently back in the day. Not sure if we both learned these at college, or if it came to us before that, but I’m sure you wouldn’t mind if I share this little tips with whoever might read this later on… quite possibly in the middle of the night, when they need to get to sleep.

I should point out that none of these have anything to do with the traditional methods, such as counting sheep. I never figured out how that was supposed to work; if nothing else, because counting things was what I did for a living. I couldn’t fall asleep doing that, or I’d lose my job.

First, and most time consuming in some cases is the ‘fake it till you make it’ method. You just close your eyes, and pretend to be asleep, and eventually you realize more time is past than you thought should have – because you’ve been asleep. I think this time around I actually managed to do some of this on the flight back from Amsterdam; it’s another reason why that trip was so much more uneventful. And bear in mind, that was a flight done entirely in daytime, compared to the flight over, which was mostly in darkness, so there’s something to this. You do kind of have to be in the right frame of mind, however, so there’s that.

Somewhat more effective – or at least, it would work quicker – was the medicinal method. A dose of NyQuil or Ambien when it was necessary and time was limited would generally work for you. And while I complained back in college how little it worked for me (I always had a particular story about taking a dose one weekend night only to be woken up when my roommate snuck in – and he was trying to be quiet, I’ll give him that much credit – which turned out to be useful, as barely an hour later, the fire alarm went off, and I was awake enough to be one of the first ones out of the dorm, still griping about how NyQuil just doesn’t work), it’s gotten more effective over time, even as I’ve learned how to fall asleep while watching television in a well lit room.

I even mentioned this tactic to my boss Mohinder back in the day, and he reported back that it worked like a charm for him. So again, it’s not a perfect solution, but it works for some people. Mind you, it’s meant to be used sparingly – one does not want to be dependent on medication to fall asleep on a regular basis. It’s just not safe.

Finally – and to a certain extent, a slightly more difficult tack – one can try praying. Just talk to the Lord about the day to come, and what you need to face, and where you need his help. I’m not necessarily going to swear by this, anymore than I do about the other suggestions. But here’s the thing; this is a situation where you can win either way. If it doesn’t work, you end up talking to God about things you need to talk to him about. Even as much as we try, we don’t bring him into our lives as often as we ought to. And if the evil one tries to interrupt you by putting you to sleep? Well, that was sort of the intent on, so you still win.

And I suppose I have quite the list to talk to him about. I need to thank Him for bringing me home safely. I need to thank Him for watching over Daniel, although I’m going to need to feed him somehow (I don’t know that he ate much over this past week – he keeps claiming he wasn’t feeling like it, and I cannot relate to that going on for an entire week). I need to ask Him for strength for the day to come, and wisdom to get the things done that need to get done; in particular, I’ll be having Lisa over to give me a final quote on the kitchen and the laundry room, and make a first installment on the process. i’d like to ask him about that dream from the other day, and whether it means anything or not. And of course, I need to ask him to help me adjust to this time zone, and give me some more sleep.

Anyway, as I said, writing this to you is probably going to defeat the whole purpose. To say nothing of the fact that I’ve lost a considerable amount of time in the process. But regardless, I felt the need to tell you.

I’ll talk to you later, I hope. Until then, wish me luck. I think I’ll still need it.

Published by randy@letters-to-rachel.memorial

I am Rachel's husband. Was. I'm still trying to deal with it. I probably always will be.

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