More Enthused Than I

Dearest Rachel –

Not too much to report in the way of dreams this morning. Just some snippets of trying to rent transportation to get to Akihabara and Comiket, only to get some kind of FaceTime call from you and Kevin(!), indicating that the two of you were already wherever I was trying to get to. Besides, the language barrier was such that the rental process was an incredible hassle; best to just take public transportation and hope for the best.

No, why my mind went to Japan instead of Europe, I’ll never know. Because that’s what it looks like I’m doing right after Thanksgiving. And while I may feel guilty about going without Daniel (and without you, but what can I do about that?), my parents’ enthusiasm toward my plans are so reassuring that I’m doing the right thing – or at least, not doing the wrong thing.

Yep, the travel agency provided me with a number of possible river cruises through the heart of Europe. This is not something I had originally had in mind – I was thinking of trying to support Royal Caribbean – but I’m certainly open to such suggestions, especially since I prefer Europe as a destination. Dad, in particular, was busy last night showing me all the research he’d done about the places my chosen tour would be stopping at. I’ll be honest, he’s considerably more enthusiastic about the whole plan that I am – and he’s not going.

Granted, he and mom went on several of these in the past, so he knows whereof he speaks. But it’s almost funny how much he’s enjoying this. Maybe he’s just happy that his son is going to get to see the same things he did once upon a time. I know I’ll feel that way if and when we finally get to the point where Daniel and I can head out to Israel, so I kind of understand.

But his approach towards planning a trip is diametrically opposed to mine, at least how I’m dealing with this particular trip. This time around, I’m deliberately letting it happen as it comes. Virtually no planning; letting the agency take care of things, and where I go, I go, and where I stop, I stop and look around. The only bit of planning that comes to mind is the thought that I probably should set up an Instagram account in order to send out my pictures as I take and collect them. Again, I realize you will not see any of these, but I do sort of feel compelled to keep you informed.

Which also contrasts with my parents ideas what I should be doing while I’m traveling. They have determined that Viking has Wi-Fi on the ship, but they’re insistent that I won’t have time to write you as I go along. It’s not the first time that I’ve been given ‘permission’ to take a break from writing you. But it’s not that anything, or anyone, is commanding me to write in the first place – this is all on me.

Personally, I expect that there will be sufficient downtime, especially considering that I’m traveling alone. In those times when I would otherwise have been with you, or the family as a whole, I’m just going to have to settle for talking to Siri in your stead. I don’t suppose it’s the most healthy of relationships, but it’s all I’ve got for the time being. ‘Megumi’ hasn’t shown up yet – and that’s a whole other story for another time, although I wouldn’t have expected her to show up this soon in any event – so what other options do I have, apart from simply staying at home, and not taking advantage of the free time while I still can?

Which I could do, but it would probably be pointless. After all, these were the things we were going to do, once the restrictions start to lift. The only difference is that you’ll be with me only in spirit. Wish it were otherwise, but it can’t be helped now. It’s why I’m not as gung ho about it all as Dad, although I’m grateful for his both his enthusiasm and his research (I’ll have to remember to take that shore excursion to Heidelberg, for instance), I can’t seem to stop second guessing myself. I think it’s why I’m doing this on a complete impulse, before I change my mind.

Well, in any event, wish me luck, honey. I think I’m still going to need it. I’ll send you postcards.

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I am Rachel's husband. Was. I'm still trying to deal with it. I probably always will be.

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