Dearest Rachel – It seems that Daniel and I owe you an apology. Back not so long ago (and in a time we would dearly love to have back, but you’ve heard it so many times already), we would be watching YouTube in the early evenings. Perhaps one of your Let Players, or one orContinue reading “Sleeping Like a Dog”
Monthly Archives: February 2021
from Rachel: On the Wisdom of Solomon
“A metaphorical thought about Solomon and his wisdom, inspired by Ecclesiastes 2:3 and 9 I searched with my heart how to cheer my body with wine—my heart still guiding me with wisdom—and how to lay hold on folly, till I might see what was good for the children of man to do under heaven duringContinue reading “from Rachel: On the Wisdom of Solomon”
Funny Papers
Dearest Rachel – As a fellow collector of comic books and authors, I understood what you were doing. Since we didn’t get the newspaper anymore (more on that later), you would, every time you went to visit your parents – and later, every time we would visit Twofeathers at your parents’ home – you wouldContinue reading “Funny Papers”
Kitchen Nightmare
Dearest Rachel – There’s a part of me that tells me I should be proud of the work that’s been done, and how well I have held up during the process. The folks say I’m doing the right thing. Jan and Scott have expressed their approval as to how well I’ve held up as weContinue reading “Kitchen Nightmare”
Gar(b)age Day
Dearest Rachel – I’m afraid this has been another one of those days in which you would not approve of what I’ve been doing. But honey, it had to be done. Jan was over again, along with her husband Scott. She promised not to charge double for the extra manpower – and indeed, Scott textedContinue reading “Gar(b)age Day”
Cancellations
Dearest Rachel – I really wish it would stop hurting every morning. Even on days like today when Chompers doesn’t wake me up, the empty silence in the bedroom is… deafening. I try to keep myself busy in order to drown out the silence, but these days, everything that has to be done has somethingContinue reading “Cancellations”
No Longer Much for Mornings
Dearest Rachel – You remember well that I was, for all intents and purposes, a morning person. Not so much out of choice as necessity; when you have to be at work at a certain time, staying up until 3 in the morning like you and Daniel used to do was just out of theContinue reading “No Longer Much for Mornings”
The Twenty-Third
Dearest Rachel – So this is it. The twenty-third of February. It’s been exactly one month since the accident. One month since you left us. I wonder how long it will be before I stop thinking in terms of the passage of time. How many Saturdays will pass before I stop thinking, “well, it’s beenContinue reading “The Twenty-Third”
Kevin and the Prize
Dearest Rachel – I haven’t written to you about Sparks since you left, and I suppose I ought to fill you in. Although, we’ve only met the one other time before tonight, so there hasn’t been much to fill you in about. In fact, the first Monday after the accident had been canceled – notContinue reading “Kevin and the Prize”
Preparing for the Purge
Dearest Rachel – I was going to start this week off by dealing with the fact that I have a number of thank you notes to write for those that came to your funeral, and those that gave to Camp Awana, and so forth. I was going to compare it to what happened to usContinue reading “Preparing for the Purge”
The Slightest Trace of Normal
Dearest Rachel – You know, of course, that there is no such thing as ‘normal’ anymore, if there really ever was. ‘Normal,’ to us, are the days of the three of us, going about our ways, serene in the unfounded knowledge that life was good and every day would be pleasant together, much like theContinue reading “The Slightest Trace of Normal”
“Sister Repellant”
Dearest Rachel – You can tell from the title what this is about, can’t you? Yep, I’d cleared a spot on the stove for ourselves, and I decided to cook last night. Black bean soup, one of our old favorites. Always welcome during the cold winter months. Wonder why I haven’t made it earlier… InContinue reading ““Sister Repellant””
Trash and Trepidation
Dearest Rachel – Please forgive me for what I am about to do. Earlier this week, Scott Olson visited my folks while I was downstairs in my ‘office.’ This isn’t at all unusual. Ever since his illness two years ago, as you know, Dad has not been much out of the house. He’ll run errandsContinue reading “Trash and Trepidation”
Doggie Dreams
Dearest Rachel – I wonder if, while you’re greeting old friends and family you haven’t seen in years – to say nothing of the many dogs you grew up with and grew up with you – how much opportunity you have to look in on those of us you have left behind. Especially since ChompersContinue reading “Doggie Dreams”
The Wisdom of Old Fezziwig
Dearest Rachel – I confess, I wasn’t paying attention to everything that was going on surrounding your funeral. It was all either Daniel or I could do to simply hold ourselves together as everything seemed to be falling apart with having lost you. But Dad noticed, as the staff at church kept people in theContinue reading “The Wisdom of Old Fezziwig”
Fishwrap
Dearest Rachel – On Sunday, Junior spoke about conflict among believers, and how that should be sorted out internally before making a spectacle of ourselves before the rest of the world. I miss being able to turn to you and smile, having put that (for the most part) behind us? Do you remember our fight,Continue reading “Fishwrap”
The Cruelty of the Cold
Dearest Rachel – It seems ever since you left, the days have conspired to outdo each other in cold brutality. Even the day of the accident was forecast to be the coldest of the season to date: we were all bundled in jackets and parkas more heavily than we had been in years. Not thatContinue reading “The Cruelty of the Cold”
The Heart-Shaped Elephant
Dearest Rachel – So. It’s Sunday. And… it’s Valentine’s Day. I’ve heard about how difficult it is for spouses left behind on the holidays, like our anniversary, or Christmas. And I suppose those days will be painful, when they get here. But I don’t recall much about the impact of Valentine’s Day on widowed spouses. Continue reading “The Heart-Shaped Elephant”
Three Weeks Since
Dearest Rachel – I dare say that Saturdays will be the most difficult day of the week for a very long time to come, and it will be a long time before I will be able to appreciate weekends. Not only was Saturday morning our time together – which can never be enjoyed again onContinue reading “Three Weeks Since”
Honey
Dearest Rachel – In an effort to avoid working on my impressions of the worst day of my life, I’m going to tell a story. You, of course, already know this story, but it needs to be told nonetheless. It’s the story of how you came to see me as more than an arrogant jerk,Continue reading “Honey”
Daniel and the Dream
Dearest Rachel – It seems that, between various responsibilities, whether the camp or church or the dog, I’ve forgotten that I’m not the only one suffering your loss. Daniel has been dealing with it in his own way, but I’ve neglected to take into account his need for comfort and reassurance throughout these past coupleContinue reading “Daniel and the Dream”
Ten Dollar Bills
Dearest Rachel – Sometimes, it amazes me as to what can set me off with regard to memories of you. I just got a ten dollar bill in change from the grocery store this morning, and while I didn’t actually absent-mindedly think “oh, another one I can give to Rachel for tips – oh, wait…”Continue reading “Ten Dollar Bills”
Half Mast
Dearest Rachel – Well, I finally did it. I finally got the rabies certification from the veterinarian’s – along with a couple more medications for Chompers’ urinary tract infection. Yeah, it’s happened again. I still don’t know how you juggled all this – or are his health issues actually accelerating, like it sometimes seems? Anyway,Continue reading “Half Mast”
Bathtubs
Dearest Rachel – Got a late start on the day today. After getting Chompers fed and outside for a bit, I went to set him in the family room, where he’s clearly more comfortable staying. Ordinarily, I’d be expecting Daniel to be sleeping on the couch, as he has been ever since he realized theContinue reading “Bathtubs”
The Big Game and the Little Games
Dearest Rachel – I’ve been asked by a few people which team I’m rooting for today. It seems I’d completely forgotten that this was Super Bowl (can I say that, or will the NFL give me a copyright strike for that?) Sunday. Look, I’ve had a lot on my mind, and none of it toContinue reading “The Big Game and the Little Games”
Nothing Compares To You
Dearest Rachel – I’ll have to dredge up the mix tapes we sent each other to confirm it (yes, you know I kept copies of each one since those days), but I’m pretty sure this song was on one of the ones I sent you. And yes, I’m spelling out “To You” rather than usingContinue reading “Nothing Compares To You”
Vet’s Day
Dearest Rachel – I’d like to think I’m starting to get the hang of dealing with Chompers (I’m probably wrong, though). As problematic as last night was, at least I got a fair amount of rest on both sides of that two-hour, fourteen-checkup nightmare. So basically, I’m adopting a rule of “sleep when he sleeps,”Continue reading “Vet’s Day”
Launch Day
Dearest Rachel – I’m starting to get the hang of dealing with Chompers, I think: get your rest when he does, or you won’t get much rest at all at night. I dozed off between 9 and 9:30, and after waking just before midnight, taking him out to pee, and settling him down in theContinue reading “Launch Day”
Pictures of You
So deep and wide / So clear and bright I paint your love / With truth and light I’ll take my time / I’ll get it right I’ve got forever / To paint my picture of you Terry Scott Taylor, “Picture of You” from Knowledge and Innocence, 1986 Dearest Rachel – The song may sayContinue reading “Pictures of You”
Letters to Rachel 