Not Meant For Us

Dearest Rachel –

Back when I still had dreams of making a YouTube channel, and trying to settle on a topic, I considering discussing the Nacirema which, for all that I remember reading about them when I was much younger (although now I’m starting to think it was a bit of the Mandela effect), I can find vanishingly little about; which is why I thought it would be the perfect niche material.

You might recall their history, though; the Nacirema were supposedly an agglomerative tribe that sprang up to cover nearly the entire Northern Temperate Zone of the Western Hemisphere. Although initially warlike in their conquest of territory – albeit no less so than the many others they were competing with in the region at the time – they ultimately became more assimilative in their growth and spread, willing to accept others into their number who wanted to be a part of them and adapt their manners and customs, while also contributing unique knowledge and gifts that could be adapted to enrich the burgeoning tribe overall, as well.

One of the observations I had made about the natives was that, over time, a pair of parallel cultures had taken root within the overall tribe. Part of this was a natural result of their geographic spread, of course; a remove of distance precludes knowledge of what others elsewhere are doing, and indeed, certain places have difference resources that could either enhance or obstruct one’s ability to engage in certain longstanding tribal rituals. But the parallels that began to occur in the latter portion of the twentieth century seemed to be less about geography and more about ideology; certain members believed one thing and others the near-opposite on what seemed like every subject imaginable.

As a result, presumably to avoid conflict, people identified themselves by colors and symbols, and kept to their own tribes within the tribe. There were even separate markets for the sub-tribes, although ironically identified with the opposite sub-tribe’s colors; those subscribing to the red ideology would patronize the blue markets displaying an astral symbol, while those of the blue persuasion could be found at one of numerous plazas identified by red and white stripes in a concentric circle. To an outside observer, the places seemed very much the same; only the clientele differed; and even then, only if they were engaged in conversation of ideological import.

Obviously, my point was to hopefully describe how both sides were, as the dispassionate observer would comment, very much one and the same, and ought to realize that fact. You tried to discourage me from trying to create this series; I think you were skeptical that viewers would understand who and what the Nacirema were meant to represent, but to thereby think of you as more cynical than even myself strains credulity.

Still, you were right to discourage me about it, as it seems the whole concept of “we’re all the same underneath; we just need to talk it out and realize it” seems to have been proven quite wrong at the moment, thereby rendering anything that I would have said out-of-date or hopelessly naïve. At the moment, it feels like one sub-tribe would as soon kill the members of the other as talk to them; either that, or they’ve been goaded into this hatred by outside forces. That in itself begs a question; where is the profit in stirring up such conflict in the first place?

I can think of a few possibilities, but I honestly thought of studying the Nacirema as a much more light-hearted exercise; how to describe what we considered to be ordinary life from an anthropological view. Some articles I can recall reading have been both fascinating and funny, if deliberately dry, due to the treatment of the subject matter.

One of my favorites had to do with the courtship rituals of the tribe, which for an extended period of time, tended to be rather universal, regardless of ideology. The male suitor would extend an offer to the female of his choice (and unlike certain other tribes, she had the prerogative to accept or decline, although her parents obviously could influence her decision one way or another). On the appointed evening, when such rituals generally took place, the young man would arrive at the domicile of his intended’s family, often in a chariot borrowed from an elder member of his immediate clan. From there, he would transport her to a local communal feasting-hall, where they would partake in a meal meant more for the conversation between them than for its actual sustenance. Ironically enough, such feast-halls would tend to feature rhythmic music being performed at a sufficient volume as to render particularly deep conversation somewhat difficult, leaving the anthropologic mind confused as to the purpose this part of the ritual served.

At the conclusion of the meal, it was often expected the young man would cover the costs of the food and preparation; this was done by his proffering of various papers earned through the performance of various tasks of his own at times prior to the night of the courtship ritual (often for this express purpose, in fact). While this shows an obvious commercial aspect to the moment, there was a ceremonial purpose to it as well, indicating his ability and willingness to provide for his intended (which could also show in his choice of feast-halls, since there would often be multiple options in a given tribal village, of varying degrees of quality and expense – and it should be pointed out that those two aspects, while generally correlative, often had some outliers).

From there, the couple would repair to another communal institution, a large hall in which other such couples on similar ritual encounters would congregate. After a few minutes of silent meditation, the lighting in the hall would be dimmed (or extinguished entirely), and a separate set of lights projected onto a bare wall in order to stimulate a certain emotional response from the various couples.

The original article was considerably more detailed than that, but you get the basic gist of it; it’s been probably four decades since I first read it, so to remember as much of that as I did seems impressive enough. However, I’m sure you recognize the description of a standard ‘dinner and a movie’ date of our youth (and decades previous); and if you don’t, now that you’ve read the spoiler, go back and re-read it, and see what you think.

But by now, you’re probably wondering where I’ve been going with this whole story in the first place, aren’t you? Well, here’s the thing; I mentioned yesterday about a Korean place in the neighborhood that Daniel suggested checking out after church on Sunday, only to discover that it didn’t open for business until late in the afternoon. Well, since we were to be in the area again en route to Sparks, I offered him the option to check it out beforehand as a raincheck. I’d actually passed by a sushi place in the Miami airport a day or two before, and felt I could go for something like that after a week away.

The thing is, I think we may be a little bit spoiled. Oh, what they offered was quite acceptable (and it’s not everywhere that offers fried chicken in a sushi roll, which seemed to please Daniel), but we can find better/more authentic stuff nearer to home, and for a cheaper price. Moreover – and this is what brought the Nacirema courtship ritual to mind – the places we would frequent are loud, cheerful and brightly lit, whereas this one was dim and pulsing with electronic trance music. The food is up our alley, but the atmosphere was clearly not meant for us. This is a ‘date night’ place, or a going-out-for-drinks-after-work place, as opposed to a simple place to fill one’s stomach. Maybe it will be worth going back there with Megumi some day, but as for Daniel and I, it felt a little awkward. It probably didn’t help that, at the hour we showed up, they had just opened for the night, and so we were the only patrons for the whole time we were in there.

So rather than do a restaurant review – since its shortcomings, as far as I was concerned, had nothing to do with the place itself, but rather that it was geared for a whole other demographic than what either of us are a part of – I thought I’d refresh your memory of a plan I’d had, why it washed out, and slowly work my way back to the events of the past day or so, and see if you could understand. Considering how long I’ve gone on about this, I might as well offer appreciation for your patience, as well.

But for now, honey, I’d just like to request that, as usual, you keep an eye on me, and wish me luck, as I’m sure I’m going to be needing it.