Dearest Rachel –
It’s Monday morning; the day and time that seems to bring dread to all. The restful period of the weekend is over, and we have to get back to school or work or whatever our weekly routine looks like, whether we’re ready for it or not. Despite having gone to bed before ten last night specifically so I could get up and get a workout in before getting started with the day and week, I’m having trouble motivating myself to actually get up and get out there, just like everyone else.
Of course, these days, Mondays aren’t what they used to be for me. Ever since you basically gave me permission to retire, their power has been crushed, as far as I was concerned. There was no longer the need to have to deal with – or even face – Mohinder ever again; while I kept myself as civil as possible when he called while Lars and Jenn drove me up to Milwaukee to collect you, if I never hear that voice again, it’ll still be too soon. The work and the deadlines weren’t so much of a big deal – I still allow those to be imposed upon myself – but that interaction is over and done with, and I can’t express enough gratitude to you for freeing me from that. If only I’d had the time to do so while you were still here.
Meanwhile, though, I’ve no idea what the first day of the work week was like for you. If memory serves, you attended weekly Bible studies on Wednesdays (although across twenty-odd years, that would move around a bit) and babysit for other moms doing the same on Thursdays. Monday evenings were spent at Awana, first with the Cubbies and then the Sparks as Daniel was eligible for each of them, and staying with the latter as he moved on from there and beyond. But what the day was like, I can’t recall whether you had a routine or not. That’s probably on me; I’m sure you would tell me about your day from time to time when I was home, only for it to pass me by without notice. As with myself, the days were more or less the same; what’s to notice about them? …until they’re gone.
Today, however, isn’t a typical Monday – apart from having to wake up and convince myself to get over to the gym for what’s become a rare session on the machines over there for a change. I can’t afford to let myself get too accustomed to the gentler slope of my home treadmill, to be honest. But the rest of the day is going to be a little different, since I have the first of two or three yearly checkups with my broker about what used to be ‘our’ portfolio, and how it’s growing (or not).
To be sure, it’s likely to be a rather routine appointment in its own right; as a rule, most of the companies we’ve picked have been doing reasonably well since we set everything up. Some industries are lagging behind the average, but that’s the price of diversifying; better to have some stocks not doing as well than to bet everything on a single stock that, while it may fly high for a while, still has the potential to tank the entire portfolio if it collapses. As it is, I’m starting to get concerned about my position in technology; but then again, the reason it’s become such a large part of the overall allocation is because everything in it has grown so fast for so long that it’s started to dwarf everything else. I might take some profits – if nothing else, I have to pay for May’s trip soon – and invest it elsewhere. I understand that there are some fairly proven companies that will be taken public soon, and I might want to get in on their IPOs.
Now, you might be wondering why I’m telling you about all this, especially since finances are of no importance to you, or anyone else over on your side of eternity? Why am I concerning myself with the stuff that, at best, makes up the cobblestones of the heavenly realms? Well, aside from the fact that it’s the unusual part of my day today, it’s a roundabout way of letting you know that I’m working on Daniel’s eventual independence.
You see, on our way back from church yesterday afternoon, we stopped by the folks’ place to drop off bulletins from the morning service – they’d decided that, while Dad’s condition seems to be improving, they weren’t quite ready to go back out in public for an extended period of time like that. While over there, I mentioned the situation with today’s meeting, informing them that I probably wouldn’t be coming into the ‘office’ today; they make it abundantly clear that I don’t need to report to them about my every move, but the fact that they appreciate my informing them makes me want to let them know.
And both on our way there and on our way home, my conversation with Daniel centered on the subject as well. In fact, he’d just met with Sean to go over his portfolio during the past week; so he’s on top of his portion as well. I reminded him of what was to happen at some point in the future, and how he would eventually take over the house – and all the bills associated with it. Right now, of course, he only deals with his health insurance and the one credit card in his name, but he’ll have to get on top of a lot more in the future. How far into the future remains to be seen, but he needs to get into practice; much as it feels like I’m jinxing things to say it (since I used to say it about you, and look how that turned out), he’s more than likely to outlive me, so he needs to be ready to take over from me on this front – although where things go from him remains to be seen.
It’s weird to see how your grandparents and parents saved up as much as they did, and never got around to enjoying it. Even you didn’t get much of a chance to do so, also that wasn’t from a lack of trying. Meanwhile, I want to balance enjoyment with making sure that Daniel has enough to live on if life gets crazy after I’m gone. But as for him? He’s as cautious with money as you were, if not your parents, and for what? Oh, there’s the fact that he’ll probably need more in his old age than at this stage in the game, but when it grows faster than it can be spent, where does it go from there?
Still, that’s a concern for much further down the road. For now, it’s up to me to continue to make sure he’ll be left enough to live on, especially if he has your family’s genes tending toward longevity. If he has enough to leave behind for paving, well… that’s just how it goes. Maybe it will go to the church; anything’s better than going to the government, as they don’t seem to know how to manage money. Not that it will matter to any of us by then.
Anyway, since I have to head off to this meeting, I’ll have to take my leave, and ask you to keep an eye on us both. Oh, and wish us luck, as we’re going to need it.
Letters to Rachel 